Lost the man I refer to as Dad in these situations in 2011 to cancer. Mum, my sister, brother in law and myself were with him when he died, my brother wasn't. I cried, we all did at that moment, but I sobered myself quickly so I would be able to phone his sister and tell her but when I wanted to say that he just died I started to blubber, but she understood me. She's the most gentle and thoughtful person and I've ever known and I knew it would crush her when he died so I really didn't want a delay in letting her know. Sadly she died last year.
He raised me from around 6 years old, I'm 34 now. After things settled after his death and we were having our first meal I took 4 plates out of the cupboard, I said to Mum "Look I took 4 plates out". His death was expected but was still a but sudden, he stayed home until it was too much then went to a local nursing home place and died later that day, about an hour after we arrived to see him. In hindsight I just would have liked to thank him for the life he gave me, just to let him know 100% that I thought of him as my Dad. He 2 had biological kids and he sent them money and stuff for their birthdays but to my knowledge they never contacted him.
My Mum died in April this year, another parent lost to cancer. The whole situation this time was far more sad, but not for me, for my Mum. Mentally she was one of the toughest people I knew, she was a no nonsense sort of woman, she had so much pride she did just about everything herself. The tragedy is that that woman was not present towards the end, she was a broken woman and I knew exactly the mental anguish she was dealing with more than the physical, so much that she frequently was asking the nurses to kill her or leave her the means so she could do it herself. I saw her mental and physical implosion but she never spoke to us about it. I remember some things she asked me to do she could no longer do for herself, for her dignity I won't say what they were, I was proud to do it and I knew how hard it was for her to ask.
This time no one was present for the death as it happened. Everyone was visiting in the last few days but on the last day only my sister and I were there and we left due to exhaustion. A few hours later just after midnight we got the call that she died. My biggest regret is that I wasn't there when she died, not that she'd have known because she was comatose, and I know she wouldn't have wanted anyone there and probably waited for everyone to sod off so she could die in peace
she always was stubborn hehe. She was one hell of a character my Mum, in a good way.
I miss her, we had a lot of fun over the last few years and I am content with the situation.