Danger! Relationship related thread inside

mejinks

mejinks

mejinks

Soldato
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This girl I know has asked me to go out to dinner with her. She has a boyfriend yet has asked me to go out for a meal with her next Tuesday (valentines day)

I asked why she wasn't going out with her BF and she said something like "the romance has gone a bit" and kind of skipped over the question. Now don't get me wrong, but I really like this girl and she would be perfect for me yada yada yada, but she knows I am single and searching.

Isn't it a bit inappropriate or am I reading too much into it?

She was holding my hand tonight in the pub while we were waiting to be served, you know the way that sickly new lovers do.. Then when I dropped her home, she kissed me on the lips. Not a snog, just a proper kiss.

I dont think ive fallen in lust with her but Im a bit :confused:

Shes a lovely girl who could do so much better than me so Im pretty sure im reading too much into it, but she continually compliments me and calls me "wonderful"

Tell me Im reading too much into it?
 
You already know the answer, stop trying to convince yourself otherwise. Probably a good idea to talk to her about though and tell her you dont feel its right to take it any further while she is still tied to him etc. A resounding 'Hit it' though
 
I've always been against people going behind the backs of people they're in relationships with. In this sitation i'd suggest probably going along with it but get her to call it off with her BF first or things can get ugly.
 
Locrian said:
You already know the answer, stop trying to convince yourself otherwise. Probably a good idea to talk to her about though and tell her you dont feel its right to take it any further while she is still tied to him etc. A resounding 'Hit it' though
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what he said!

tell her you feel uncomfortable becuase its unfair on her boyfriend, she must have some feeling for him if they're still together

you're not really being the bad guy, just drawn into it quickly by the sounds of things, but ultimatly, thats what you'll become (the bad guy) unless she's with him becuase she's scared of him and he's a nutter who won't let her go..

imo, you shouldn't go on tuesday unless her bf knows that they are def over, but thats just me :)

rock on
 
my story on this:

Saw a girl once behind her boyfriends back, told her to split with her boyfriend or forget me. She split with her boyfriend, whom she had been with for nearly 2 years and the "romance" had gone. Goin out with her for a month, everything seemed hunky dory and absolutely perfect, out of the blue she dumps me and goes back to him, she missed him and was still in love, and it took being away from him to realise this.

I was devastated (sp?) but i knew it was going to happen. If she can do it for you, she can do it TO you, no matter how right it feels there is a damn high chance it will happen, and even if it doesnt there will always be a lack of trust. It's damn hard to trust someone that has already blatantly shown you that they aren't trustworthy.

Just my experience on this :)

Tom.

PS maybe she just likes your bimmer? :p
 
Depends who you are and what your values are, to be honest.

Is it right, in your mind, to be with another girl and do these things whilst she is seeing someone? For you, or her.

Stand for what you believe, and what you want. If she can't give you what you want, but you feel she could, then talk to her about it and try to sort it out.

Talking is important, so do more of that :)

Phil.
 
The thing is she is a really decent girl. Properly brought up, well spoken and really sensible (training to be a teacher too) Id love to hit it to be fair, but shes someone I really respect so any possible relationship would be more than just physical, it would be for the conversation and good clean fun.

Its easy to say talk to her about it, but im scared of what she might say, I really don't want a relationship with her if she has a BF and is prepared to dump him for me.

From what I know, he is a rugby player and is hard as nails, but he spends little time with her and doesn't appreciate her skills (musician, teacher, sweet, innocent outlook) whereas that is something I really look for in a potential GF, oh, he drives a Fiesta.

And yes she loves the bimmer....

If she had asked me out to dinner on any other day.....
 
Dude, talk to her or prepare to get hurt. She's only playing with you atm, relationships are not a free-for-all. She's dropping some pretty big hints, I think that more than warrants you talking to her about the 'situation' and therefore the 'bf'.
 
man this is complicated.... Theres this girl I AM chasing who is really great but more my league whereas this girl is imho premier league with looks and talent. I think I am going to go out for a meal with her, I'll just play it by ear and enjoy our friendship.

I can't sleep thinking about it. Am I going to let her down? Will I be letting myself down by asking her directly?

How do I even start the conversation? It has to be at the end of the night in case it ruins the evening, but then if I've got the wrong end of the stick then bang goes our friendship (this has happened to me before BTW)
 
tbh i would not go out with her until she finished with her BF

when i thought the spark was gone with my GF i would also flirt with other girls...but deep down still wanted to be with my GF.

they might just be having a bad time and she wants to have some fun with someone else for a bit. If thats the case i wouldnt get your hopes up too much. Talk to her and find out exactly what the deal is with her BF.

If she was your GF, would you like her going out with someone else while you two were still together, even if you were having a bad patch?
 
Totally innapropriate.

I know it seems like it can't do any harm, but TRUST me, do not get involved while she's seeing someone. Whilst, if you're strong and right for eachother you'll be ok, starting on this way, and the uncomfortableness of situations it can bring are not worth it. Wait until she breaks up with him.

Ant :cool:
 
mejinks said:
How do I even start the conversation? It has to be at the end of the night in case it ruins the evening, but then if I've got the wrong end of the stick then bang goes our friendship (this has happened to me before BTW)
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Dont be afraid to talk about it. You will feel worse if you dont and it builds up. Talk about it before the meal, if you talk on msn do it on there cause its always easier to be more candid and less fake. You have an easy starter line already because of the whole meal on VD. Just at some point soon ask her candidly about it, tell her your confused about whats going on at the moment which is obviously the case! If you like her, tell her you like her. Simple as.

I dont mean to talk about it like its something easy, but the point you have got to get in your head is it just is. Have some confidence.
 
if its just a meal between mutual friends who have no better person to be with on that night, then go for it.
if its as a start to a relationship dont bother.

find someone who has more of a clear mind about what she wants and who she wants to be with.
 
tbh i'd be in 2 minds about the whole thing. on the one hand, you've got a really nice girl that you get on with really well, and would be perfect for you. on the other hand, you've got a girl who'd go out for a meal on valentines day (i mean, c'mon!!) with another guy.

tbh, i wouldn't touch it with a stick, even if you want to a lot. it's been said before, but wait until she's not so confused, and from the sounds of things resenting her boyfriend for some reason, before you make your move here :)
 
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