Death

Parsley said:
Yes but you won't know or care that you're dead. I'm not particularly interested in the actual death part of dying either but I don't fear it. I'm more concerned about any effects on loved ones but to me it's like being afraid of going into a deep sleep. It's just a much much longer sleep :p.

As has been said above, everything we do is ultimately insignificant in the grand scale of the universe. I think that's freeing, if it doesn't matter then the only pressure is that which you put on yourself.
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Deep sleep, yes, but you (as far as we know) won't wake up again, ever. Isn't that crazy?? Incomprehensible.

Everything is literally made up, society, families, friends, experiencs, everything. All for an eternity of nothing, no memory of it (you'll have no memory of it), no awareness, nowt.

I guess this is why people think there must be more to it. We can definitely say for sure that these bodies we have will no longer exist, that is a guarantee and also incomprehensible, I accept it because I have no choice but to, but it is still mind boggling.

Perhaps ignorance is bliss after all. Not convinced it is but perhaps it is.

I do still go back to the thought around how we're all here in the first place. Perhaps that's a more positive thing, not to focus on death but life. There is clearly way more going on that we know currently.
 
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uksoldierboy said:
Arthur C Clark quote mixed up a bit I'd imagine.
The original quote is "Two possibilities exist: either we are alone in the universe or we are not. Both are equally terrifying."

As to death, I always remember the feeling of having to do my will at 18 before leaving for my first tour of Iraq and the realisation of things as I boarded the plane at Brize. Everything i was doing had a new finality to it, from having my full English breakfast, to watching the UK disappear behind me as we took off.

Getting over there and getting on with the job you soon become accustomed and each day is just a subconscious acceptance that today maybe the last.

I was one of the lucky ones, I got to come back home, but there were those I knew that didn't, dealing with the mortality of others I found the most difficult. Here chatting one second, and gone the next.

No one wants to die, not really, but facing that fear is life, and not hiding from it, it should give one a sense of purpose and a determined heart, each day until the end.
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Can't imagine what that was like as an 18 year old. No training can prepare you for that reality when it hits.

You've hit on an interesting point. Wondering about when the last ever time you did something was or will be. Clearly you have but I bet many haven't.
 
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I think modern society has a weird relationship with death that doesn’t help matters. Historically people were much closer to death, in the sense that people would die in the home and often stay there for some time.

Now death is quite ‘remote’ to most of us I suppose, until it isn’t of course.
 
Rincewindle said:
I remember when i was about 10 years old my Grandad on my fathers side of the family died.
They had him laid out in an open coffin in the front room and insisted we all went and had a look / paid respects etc
That totally freaked me out and for years after i had nightmares waking up in the middle of the night scared of dying
Now i am 58 lost my mother 8 years ago to cancer
I have started laying awake at night thinking about it
I live alone. no family no siblings no close friends
I feel i am destined to be ''that guy'' the one that dies alone and is not found for months
In a way it makes me chuckle and sad at the same time.
But as others have said it's inevitable
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I'll be your friend
 
rare said:
I think modern society has a weird relationship with death that doesn’t help matters. Historically people were much closer to death, in the sense that people would die in the home and often stay there for some time.

Now death is quite ‘remote’ to most of us I suppose, until it isn’t of course.
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Absolutely, at least in the west/the places that don't have war at their doorstep. I think in the far east it's treated differently with different philosophies and norms.

In media as well, in films non-important characters are killed off very easily etc, very little importance is put on it. It's so normal to see people being killed.
 
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mrk said:
Consciousness is a series of electrical impulses unique to every person's brain. When you die, those impulses and firing neurons also die, who "you" were is basically gone. That's why oxygen starvation in the brain leads to brain damage, those electrical signals are not firing in the same order they once were, you become a changed person as a result. The same reason why with old age onset dementia can set in, as well as small vessel disease causing cell damage and other issues resulting in losing who you were before.
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Thanks. I quoted this bit of your post, as I never thought of the electrical impulses and how it's manifested onto each person (brain) uniquely. I did think about dementia / Alzheimer's though. On early onset dementia, you're still self-aware. In later stages of dementia, your brain is knackered up enough that you're no longer self-aware. So the dementia sufferer is still alive, maybe for another 2-3 years, but you no longer manifest, which makes it no different from being dead as the 'dead' boundary got crossed.

Being paralytically drunk is similar. Thankfully it only happened to me once, and the 2 housemates that I was with had to fill me in on the bits that I couldn't remember the next day. I remembered we drank whiskey in the apartment, then went out to a vodka bar. We all drank the same amount as we were doing rounds. Then without warning, I lost manifest - instant shut-off and now I'm in zombie mode. 6 hours later, I re-manifested at 4AM and we were now all getting ready for bed. Apparently we went to a club afterwards and I was dancing like a pratt on the dancefloor :p I was fine the next day, just plenty of water, and then we were out on the lash again!
 
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Can only imagine it gets easier to deal with as you get older. Life experiences dwindle or no longer entertain and aches and pains take their toll.

Must be a strange feeling getting to that point where each night you ponder if it'll be your last...maybe have that kit kat chunky anyway just in case.
 
AndrewNR said:
Can only imagine it gets easier to deal with as you get older. Life experiences dwindle or no longer entertain and aches and pains take their toll.

Must be a strange feeling getting to that point where each night you ponder if it'll be your last...maybe have that kit kat chunky anyway just in case.
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Plus cognitive decline. I'm only "middle aged" and I can already feel myself getting more stupider :p
 
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sigma said:
Can't imagine what that was like as an 18 year old. No training can prepare you for that reality when it hits.

You've hit on an interesting point. Wondering about when the last ever time you did something was or will be. Clearly you have but I bet many haven't.
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It's a strange place to find yourself in I'll be honest and you're right, nothing can prepare you for it, I watched rambo like 100 times before joining the army and it didn't help at all :p

But even now many years later I find myself thinking back, the stuff we did and I truly wonder how it's even possible to exist physically and mentally in those situations, let alone do a job.

Also that feeling of being so close to death really does make you feel more alive than anything else.
You'll find that after and during a decent contact on tour most soldiers will be smiling, maybe laughing at certain points, it's just such a crazy feeling.
I remember vividly the first op we did and hearing the cracks of the rounds past my head, I laughed a bit, it seems alien to me now but it's just want happens.
I don't think it's a coping mechanism, it's just the "thrill" of it.

It's definitely a feeling that if you've experienced it, you'll seek out more and more later in life I find, certainly for me much to the disappointment of my wife.

But you can only appreciate what you have, when there's a very real risk of losing it.
 
i dont worry about death, i worry about how i will die and when.

there was a couple living close to me who my family were friendly with.
the lady of the house got cancer and died very shortly after.
a few months later, the man of the house gets a brain tumor and was dead within a few very short weeks.

both had incredibly painful deaths, the man kept falling over after losing his motor skills and broke his jaw and the Dr refused to operate on the tumor until the jaw healed. He was dead a few days later in total agony, he wanted visitors gone after 2 minutes of turning up to see him.
his first and 2nd wife died of cancer and then that happened to him.
he was slim, did not smoke or drink and had a particularly healthy diet on no sugar or processed food.
 
I'm less worried about being dead (as I just see it the same as when I am asleep), more about if the journey to that end is long and painful, and if there is such a thing as reincarnation, coming back and having a horrible next life (my current one has been VERY kind to me).
 
Freakbro said:
I think we may be using different definitions for ASAP there! :eek:
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That's why I said arguably :p. The only things definite in life are death and suffering.
If you go to sleep as normal, without any expectation that you might never wake up, but never wake up, then surely that's the best way for you to go.
 
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My partner and I are in our mid 50s and I'm thinking about death now. I lost both my parents in their 50s, mum was just after her 50th and my dad was 56. They were ill for a while before but still it's on my mind a lot. I do have 2 older brothers who seem reasonably healthy.

If you could know when you were going to die and how, would you?
 
something daft already!! said:
My partner and I are in our mid 50s and I'm thinking about death now. I lost both my parents in their 50s, mum was just after her 50th and my dad was 56. They were ill for a while before but still it's on my mind a lot. I do have 2 older brothers who seem reasonably healthy.

If you could know when you were going to die and how, would you?
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I don't think so, I guess knowing gives you time to prepare things, for family, kids etc, but selfishly not knowing is easier (at least for me) to crack on with, and not have this gigantic doomsday clock hanging over your head watching the time draw closer and closer.

You can mitigate some of the security of family by having a will, life insurance etc.

If we think of films, where the end of the world is coming, they almost always have a family being together in the last moments, even IRL, when we've had tragic outcomes in work, families will normally always be together if it was possible before the end.

With not knowing there's still that certainty, one day you will die, but for me at least, it makes me want to truly cherish every opportunity and moment I get to spend with my family and loved ones.

It comes back to just making the most of it imho, if you can be better, strive to be, if you can do more, do it, if you want more, go get it.
 
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