Depressed?

Justintime · 17 Jul 2010 at 13:36

Well.. knowing GD i'll probably get flamed or told to man up etc.. but this is just a whinge i suppose.

Currently have no love life, all my mates have either moved far, in relationships or just plain not in contact anymore, have like one real friend with whom i'm going to Thailand with in August but thats about it and even he is in a relationship and lives a bit far but still we talk almost daily. I spent the last 2 years or so with my ex but am currently living back home and it feels so soul wrenching sometimes... especially at 27 , but i really want to save for a downpayment on a mortgage and renting will not allow that.

I've got a decent job, car etc.. but don't go out anywhere due to having no available mates and i find it hard to go it alone, i'm decent looking and have even tried online dating, i get interest but have actually not met anyone in real life yet. I'm kind of extremely shy as well, but once i know someone i'm very open.

Just hit me today as my parents are leaving for 3 weeks hols tomorrow, even though i'm at work most days.. its going to be a miserable time..

Gaijin · 17 Jul 2010 at 13:38

Dude, life is what you make of it. Go out there and make the effort - it won't just drop in your lap.

doiks14 · 17 Jul 2010 at 13:43

Sounds like you need to boost your confidence up a bit first before anything else to me...
Start going it alone, start talking to random people to build up some confidence (probably meet some women and friends along the way)

998cc · 17 Jul 2010 at 13:43

You're not going to meet new friends or women moping around at home feeling sorry for yourself. You got to get yourself out there.

Tombstone · 17 Jul 2010 at 13:45

Oh yes, that's certainly depressing. Never mind those people who have no home to live in, or no job, or are disabled, or are living hand to mouth and don't have the luxury of a holiday to Thailand , I fear as predicted by yourself I will say man up

Ivan Drago · 17 Jul 2010 at 13:46

Sounds like you burned all your friends out when you got into a long-term relationship. A common story.

Time to start building some new bridges.

Tombstone · 17 Jul 2010 at 13:47

doiks14 said:
start talking to random people to build up some confidence

Not too random though, don't go talking randomly to schoolkids, I've found that only causes problems

koolpc · 17 Jul 2010 at 13:47

Don't let yourself slip into a vat of depression. Has happened to me when my Mum and Dad died within a year of each other. Worst time of my life. Still on medication now, 7 years since Mum passed away!

V4NT0M · 17 Jul 2010 at 13:49

OK, I'll address what I think your major problems are:

Friends wise, I take it you don't get along with people at work too well? You could try a bit harder to do things out of work if these are ok people you're working with, work is a great place to meet people, maybe if you're not meeting the right kind of people and that is a problem for you then you could look for a new job.

Trying to scrape together the money for a mortgage, sounds like it's not an easy thing in the job/area you're in, so why bother? Just go and rent a place away from your parents. Is there a particular reason you want to get a mortgage? I've lived in rented properties for the past ten years and I've never really thought seriously about getting a mortgage and it's bliss really. Mortgage would only be more headache imo.

With regards to women, not sure how you are but I never really seek relationships, I find that the ones that have been good are the ones that have just developed and I'm in no rush to find someone as single life is equally as enjoyable as being in a long term relationship. If you're shy and not meeting anyone through work/friends then maybe you should stick with the online dating, I know a good few people who have met their partners through dating sites.

MiNxYyY · 17 Jul 2010 at 13:57

You only get 1 chance at life, make the most of it while you can.

Its not a dress rehearsal, this is it.

Go out to a night club on your own, dont worry about the confidence, soon as you start talking you wil feel comfortable and that shyness you talk of will disappear.

doiks14 · 17 Jul 2010 at 13:57

Tombstone said:
Not too random though, don't go talking randomly to schoolkids, I've found that only causes problems

You mean, he might get accused of being a Pedophile?
If that's what you mean then as long as he has good manners and don't try to molest her in the first night of meeting her and wait for the signs, he should get away with it quite easily

^TANK^ · 17 Jul 2010 at 14:01

Justintime said:
Well.. knowing GD i'll probably get flamed or told to man up etc.. but this is just a whinge i suppose.

Currently have no love life, all my mates have either moved far, in relationships or just plain not in contact anymore, have like one real friend with whom i'm going to Thailand with in August but thats about it and even he is in a relationship and lives a bit far but still we talk almost daily. I spent the last 2 years or so with my ex but am currently living back home and it feels so soul wrenching sometimes... especially at 27 , but i really want to save for a downpayment on a mortgage and renting will not allow that.

I've got a decent job, car etc.. but don't go out anywhere due to having no available mates and i find it hard to go it alone, i'm decent looking and have even tried online dating, i get interest but have actually not met anyone in real life yet. I'm kind of extremely shy as well, but once i know someone i'm very open.

Just hit me today as my parents are leaving for 3 weeks hols tomorrow, even though i'm at work most days.. its going to be a miserable time..

Seriously you're depressed :confused:

Narziss · 17 Jul 2010 at 14:01

Justintime said:
my parents are leaving for 3 weeks hols tomorrow

Sounds like a sexy party time is called for! (Rent friends)

doiks14 · 17 Jul 2010 at 14:05

Night outs aren't the only occassion and place where you meet new women and people...
Lets take NickG for example, he met a woman in Asda of all places

Ahhh... gotta love NickG

his thread was a failure though

MiNxYyY · 17 Jul 2010 at 14:06

doiks14 said:
Night outs aren't the only occassion and place where you meet new women and people...
Lets take NickG for example, he met a woman in Asda of all places
Ahhh... gotta love NickG his thread was a failure though

Well technically he didnt actually meet her, he stood in the que perving on her and passed loads of chances to ask her out.

MiNxYyY · 17 Jul 2010 at 14:09

Justintime said:
Well.. knowing GD i'll probably get flamed or told to man up etc.. but this is just a whinge i suppose.

Currently have no love life, all my mates have either moved far, in relationships or just plain not in contact anymore, have like one real friend with whom i'm going to Thailand with in August but thats about it and even he is in a relationship and lives a bit far but still we talk almost daily. I spent the last 2 years or so with my ex but am currently living back home and it feels so soul wrenching sometimes... especially at 27 , but i really want to save for a downpayment on a mortgage and renting will not allow that.

I've got a decent job, car etc.. but don't go out anywhere due to having no available mates and i find it hard to go it alone, i'm decent looking and have even tried online dating, i get interest but have actually not met anyone in real life yet. I'm kind of extremely shy as well, but once i know someone i'm very open.

Just hit me today as my parents are leaving for 3 weeks hols tomorrow, even though i'm at work most days.. its going to be a miserable time..

Life is too short mate to be depressed.

I know its easy saying it more so than actually doing it, but it dont matter what you do, just go out of the house and find something

i had a good life, well paying job, nice car and girlfriend.

I split with my girlfriend a month ago and was very depressed.

A few days after moping around the house wondering what to do, i thought **** it, theres a whole world out there full of people, il go meet some of them

The only way to not be depressed is to get out there and enjoy yourself.

toon_mad · 17 Jul 2010 at 14:11

whenever i feel down, i think of how crap england is, especially this year - this normally makes me chuckle.

Maccapacca · 17 Jul 2010 at 14:21

Go to the pub, this what they are for, not to get plastered but to have a pint after work, go to the same one and you'll meet people

ntg · 17 Jul 2010 at 14:23

find a forum where geeks without social life hang out during saturdays so you can feel better!!!

oh wait..

/runs

radderfire · 17 Jul 2010 at 14:37

Justintime said:
I've got a decent job, car etc.. but don't go out anywhere due to having no available mates and i find it hard to go it alone, i'm decent looking and have even tried online dating, i get interest but have actually not met anyone in real life yet. I'm kind of extremely shy as well, but once i know someone i'm very open.

I suggest going salsa dancing. I have done this recently and have danced with quite a few hot women (some extremely hot). It is perfectly ok to turn up to this alone, lots of people do. Going the first time takes a bit of nerve, but you will quickly feel at home. It does help if you have a bit of rhythm but don't be intimated, they take complete beginners.

Dancing is a great way to socialise, and there is no pressure. You just turn up, have a dance for an hour two and then go home. If you go regularly you might eventually find a mutual attraction with someone, who knows.

If you can't handle going salsa dancing, try some other structured activity where you can meet women, e.g. a badminton club, a book reading club, drama club. This is better than pub/club, as you get to go back regularly to the same place and therefore have more chance of developing proper relationships. However, I do really recommend the salsa dancing as if it's a good club you will meet a lot of different women.

Good luck and rgds

Depressed?

Tea Drinker