Go get yourself a girlfriend?
You will always have someone tell you what to do then
fixed it for ya!
Depressed?
- Thread starter Justintime
- Start date
fixed it for ya!
Best advice that was given to me.
My thoughts exactly.
Soldato
- Joined
- 4 Aug 2008
- Posts
- 4,936
- Location
- Manchester.
I don't think it is depression, I think that is more when you are doing good stuff and still aren't happy.
It seems your lack of enjoyment is due to lack of immediate mates.
I was living on my parents, got bored, moved out and a year down the line I am getting a bit bored again.
So I am moving closer to my mates in Manchester, even when you have a car it isn't the same as being close by.
I think that is the main thing missing as I have a good job, car, very handsome
, enough money etc.
although I also want a cat. I have always had a cat until recently moving out. Cats help stress.
It seems your lack of enjoyment is due to lack of immediate mates.
I was living on my parents, got bored, moved out and a year down the line I am getting a bit bored again.
So I am moving closer to my mates in Manchester, even when you have a car it isn't the same as being close by.
I think that is the main thing missing as I have a good job, car, very handsome
, enough money etc.although I also want a cat. I have always had a cat until recently moving out. Cats help stress.
hmmm... I think I can say I'm in the same 'space' as a few of the posters here.
Following redundancy, then temping for a year, then the start of the recession and having no decent work/unemployed, to having my other half of nearly ten years leave me a crappy note telling me she needed to be by herself to sort her 'depression' (mental illness proper) - she took most of her stuff and left the house one afternoon in early december when I was out and now refuses to speak to or see me... apart from sending the occasional whiny txt 'hoping that I'm ok'
I've had a pretty ******* **** six months to a year.
Biggest problem I've found is a sort of apathy or lack of direction (mainly due to my life and hopes and plans with her being turned upside down and an inability or unwillingness to assimilate this change).
Work is a problem for everyone looking for decent employment these days, so I'm not really stressed by it.
Fixing the damage left by a crazy woman is another matter, however. This, and the way I still feel for her, is not so easily solved.
But...
I'll say this: It's all in your head, fellas.
At face value, there's not much going for me at the moment.
Since the new year, my life has followed three stages to where I currently find myself.
Ultimately, I still miss her terribly. But on the flip-side to that to that, I don't miss her BS and her unstable and irrationally emotional disaster area mind-******* destructive 'I'm so vulnerable, please don't hurt me, but I'll hurt you because it's like watching someone else do the things I do' childish behaviour.
I can honestly say I am truly glad that she is not my problem any more. I still love her... but as the old cliché says 'love is blind', so I'm following my instinct and rational mind here and not listening to what my heart says.
So, people have three choices in life:
Even more simplified: You can either say 'YES' or 'NO' to life.
The more you say 'YES' the more likely you are to find some purpose for yourself, a reason to say more than 'I simply exist' about yourself.
heh, enough of that, these beats always cheer me up no end
Following redundancy, then temping for a year, then the start of the recession and having no decent work/unemployed, to having my other half of nearly ten years leave me a crappy note telling me she needed to be by herself to sort her 'depression' (mental illness proper) - she took most of her stuff and left the house one afternoon in early december when I was out and now refuses to speak to or see me... apart from sending the occasional whiny txt 'hoping that I'm ok'
I've had a pretty ******* **** six months to a year.
Biggest problem I've found is a sort of apathy or lack of direction (mainly due to my life and hopes and plans with her being turned upside down and an inability or unwillingness to assimilate this change).
Work is a problem for everyone looking for decent employment these days, so I'm not really stressed by it.
Fixing the damage left by a crazy woman is another matter, however. This, and the way I still feel for her, is not so easily solved.
But...
I'll say this: It's all in your head, fellas.
At face value, there's not much going for me at the moment.
Since the new year, my life has followed three stages to where I currently find myself.
- Lamenting the loss of what was; looking back into the past and getting bogged down by memories of someone who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, for the good and the bad times, and the knowledge of what she became and eventually did to me (and my broken heart ).
- Looking at what I have now; examining what I don't have and thinking my life is rubbish, not being able to focus on anything that was not immediately in front of me, existing from day to day with no real view to tomorrow.
- A Question poses itself: what do I do next? Make an effort to find a life, or at the very least, a job, for myself. Throw off the shackles of the past and look to what tomorrow will bring; be it good or bad.
Ultimately, I still miss her terribly. But on the flip-side to that to that, I don't miss her BS and her unstable and irrationally emotional disaster area mind-******* destructive 'I'm so vulnerable, please don't hurt me, but I'll hurt you because it's like watching someone else do the things I do' childish behaviour.
I can honestly say I am truly glad that she is not my problem any more. I still love her... but as the old cliché says 'love is blind', so I'm following my instinct and rational mind here and not listening to what my heart says.
So, people have three choices in life:
- spend you life looking back to what has been and gone - which is utterly futile seeing as you cannot change what has already happened.
- waste your time and erode your self esteem by constantly looking at the negative aspects of your current situation and only focussing on how crap everything looks now.
- set your sights on the future and what the morrow may bring. Don't worry about yesterday or today - learn from these if you must, but never loose sight of where you want to be going tomorrow, and perhaps most important of all; how you are going to get there...
Even more simplified: You can either say 'YES' or 'NO' to life.
The more you say 'YES' the more likely you are to find some purpose for yourself, a reason to say more than 'I simply exist' about yourself.
heh, enough of that, these beats always cheer me up no end
man and i thought it bad with my marriage breaking down, my "wife" now more than likely having someone sleep in my bed with her, in a house i pay the mortgage on but we own and pay for a car they probably get it on in it...
*twitches* not to mention her saying she wishes i go the gym and get crushed to death, rot in hell, go get hit by a truck (the truck would not survive GRR), on toppa that she constantly uses my daughter as a weapon threatening to not let me see her etc, asks me for money (£50-£100 here and there) which as soon as i give the very next day i get verbal abuse from her (again wishing for my death)...
What can i say! Life is good whatever life throws at you just keep on smiling. Im actually a happier person after realising i was living with something that is infused some way with Satans DNA.
*twitches* not to mention her saying she wishes i go the gym and get crushed to death, rot in hell, go get hit by a truck (the truck would not survive GRR), on toppa that she constantly uses my daughter as a weapon threatening to not let me see her etc, asks me for money (£50-£100 here and there) which as soon as i give the very next day i get verbal abuse from her (again wishing for my death)...
What can i say! Life is good
whatever life throws at you just keep on smiling. Im actually a happier person after realising i was living with something that is infused some way with Satans DNA.my massive life insurance is music.....gigs, joining bands, just talking to similar interested people etc means i'll never 100% struggle to find my way socially etc.
Everyone will say find a hobby but don't rush it just think about anything you'd be interested in doing?
Everyone will say find a hobby but don't rush it just think about anything you'd be interested in doing?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm less happy in a relationship than when I was single. I always told myself "a relationship makes it all better", and I kind of agree, but only because it makes you realise how much better it is to be single.
What's your hobbies?
Find people who are interested in the same hobbies, great way to make new friends.
You just seem to be a little bit down that you're going to be on your own and have a thin social life. Build up your confidence and go to clubs on your own, talk to anyone. Get some liquid courage down you and you'll be fine. Trust me, you're not depressed... Just feeling a little down.
Find people who are interested in the same hobbies, great way to make new friends.
You just seem to be a little bit down that you're going to be on your own and have a thin social life. Build up your confidence and go to clubs on your own, talk to anyone. Get some liquid courage down you and you'll be fine. Trust me, you're not depressed... Just feeling a little down.
Caporegime
- Joined
- 12 Mar 2009
- Posts
- 26,776
Just hit me today as my parents are leaving for 3 weeks hols tomorrow, even though i'm at work most days.. its going to be a miserable time..
Party at yours then? You need friends, I've got beer, let's do this!
Party at yours then? You need friends, I've got beer, let's do this!
Lol, was thinking the same thing... but looked at his location and hes about 1273901273012730 miles away from my place.
Caporegime
- Joined
- 12 Mar 2009
- Posts
- 26,776
I live in Wales so unless he's coming to pick me up then all bets are off. I cba to drive to bloody London.
hmmm... I think I can say I'm in the same 'space' as a few of the posters here.
Following redundancy, then temping for a year, then the start of the recession and having no decent work/unemployed, to having my other half of nearly ten years leave me a crappy note telling me she needed to be by herself to sort her 'depression' (mental illness proper) - she took most of her stuff and left the house one afternoon in early december when I was out and now refuses to speak to or see me... apart from sending the occasional whiny txt 'hoping that I'm ok'
I've had a pretty ******* **** six months to a year.
Biggest problem I've found is a sort of apathy or lack of direction (mainly due to my life and hopes and plans with her being turned upside down and an inability or unwillingness to assimilate this change).
Work is a problem for everyone looking for decent employment these days, so I'm not really stressed by it.
Fixing the damage left by a crazy woman is another matter, however. This, and the way I still feel for her, is not so easily solved.
But...
I'll say this: It's all in your head, fellas.
At face value, there's not much going for me at the moment.
Since the new year, my life has followed three stages to where I currently find myself.
- Lamenting the loss of what was; looking back into the past and getting bogged down by memories of someone who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, for the good and the bad times, and the knowledge of what she became and eventually did to me (and my broken heart
- Looking at what I have now; examining what I don't have and thinking my life is rubbish, not being able to focus on anything that was not immediately in front of me, existing from day to day with no real view to tomorrow.
- A Question poses itself: what do I do next? Make an effort to find a life, or at the very least, a job, for myself. Throw off the shackles of the past and look to what tomorrow will bring; be it good or bad.
Ultimately, I still miss her terribly. But on the flip-side to that to that, I don't miss her BS and her unstable and irrationally emotional disaster area mind-******* destructive 'I'm so vulnerable, please don't hurt me, but I'll hurt you because it's like watching someone else do the things I do' childish behaviour.
I can honestly say I am truly glad that she is not my problem any more. I still love her... but as the old cliché says 'love is blind', so I'm following my instinct and rational mind here and not listening to what my heart says.
So, people have three choices in life:
- spend you life looking back to what has been and gone - which is utterly futile seeing as you cannot change what has already happened.
- waste your time and erode your self esteem by constantly looking at the negative aspects of your current situation and only focussing on how crap everything looks now.
- set your sights on the future and what the morrow may bring. Don't worry about yesterday or today - learn from these if you must, but never loose sight of where you want to be going tomorrow, and perhaps most important of all; how you are going to get there...
Even more simplified: You can either say 'YES' or 'NO' to life.
The more you say 'YES' the more likely you are to find some purpose for yourself, a reason to say more than 'I simply exist' about yourself.
heh, enough of that, these beats always cheer me up no end
Pretty much sums it up really. I've been through some very unhappy periods (not going to go into them here) and at the end of the day it's only yourself than can change things and make things better. Two pieces of advice to the OP...
1) Suicide is a long term solution to a short term problem.
2) If you change nothing then tomorrow will be the same as today.
Just find a hobby you like doing and go out and meet people.
A martial art, a sport, a craft, anything you like, go to a course or something local to you where people meet up and do stuff like that, you'll be sorted in no time.
A martial art, a sport, a craft, anything you like, go to a course or something local to you where people meet up and do stuff like that, you'll be sorted in no time.
This is very important !!!
I've been hitting the gym with my gf lately... around twice a week, and I've got some weights at home as well..
Gained quite a few muscle mass so far... (57 - 63) 5kg's in 5 (not completely sure as I lost track of when I started) weeks... and she's quite impressed
Soldato
- Joined
- 25 Nov 2007
- Posts
- 5,581
- Location
- London
I would gladly take 10mil £ and agree to never have any friends for the rest of my life
Nah, friends and family > all.
Join a club of some sort, or get a hobby as others have suggested. You'll meet a few people, and if you gain their trust enough they may ask you out to meet their other friends and suchlike. Eventually I'm sure you'll get round it.
Whenever you feel down, just think you're not the only one feeling that way, and there are many more feeling a lot worse.