Don't know how to feel or what to do

Telescopi said:
Decide what you are doing tomorrow and write it down, then go to bed. Tomorrow you stay up until you've done it. It really doesn't matter what 'it' is to start with.

You do this long enough and you'll find sticking to the task at hand becomes second nature.
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unless he writes gaming :D
 
Telescopi said:
Decide what you are doing tomorrow and write it down, then go to bed. Tomorrow you stay up until you've done it. It really doesn't matter what 'it' is to start with.

You do this long enough and you'll find sticking to the task at hand becomes second nature.
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This is how I force myself to do things if I am lacking in motivation. I create checklists of things I need to do each day and tick them off. I have a thing for lists :D
 
arknor said:
unless he writes gaming :D
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Writing 'Gaming' would be like writing 'Working' - completely impossible to measure when finished.

If he wrote 'destroy the second sword of azmagoth' or something - fine. Could actually be a good way to break the habit - turning a hobby into a job is guaranteed to kill all enjoyment :)
 
Seriously. . Take action now. Speaking from experience of gaming at uni way to much. .. get rid of the gaming pc and stay hanging out with the guys that like to study. If you don't you will screw up your degree like i did with my first one. Employers are looking for a 2:1 minimum. Ain for a first, Make that your obsession.
 
Rilot said:
I don't think it made any difference at all. I had to maybe work super hard for a couple of years to get to where I would have been as a graduate trainee but these days, no one even cares and are more interested in my 20 years of experience.

It's more a matter of pride. I just wish I'd been bothered to study. I might then have gained a degree that I could be proud of.
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Same here... I smashed a BTEC ND in Software Design and got myself into CompSci at Plymouth Uni even though many told me I would fail and lacked the enthusiasm and I was lazy...I guess I proved them right as 7 years and 3 uni's later I got a C equivalent in a Media Studies degree. Just can't focus on homework, even now I struggle with a simple AS Business Studies work I am doing at home. I really wish I was the opposite way round, for example I would love to learn how to code apps for iOS but I know I will fail at it so haven't even bothered buying the books....

Fortunatly though a degree is not required to be successful!
 
Housey said:
Oh it's not all bad, obsessive, addictive nature, self gratifier, perfect for the city.
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I think if he was the type for the city he would not be posting such threads on here, he would just do it... all the city boys I have met are alpha male borderline psychopathic types with the self confidence, greed and self determination to go with it!
 
Cleist where and how do you usually study by the way?

I have found sitting in my uni library (alone) helps me to focus on what I need to do. I think the fact everyone around me is being more studious helps you get in that mindset. Could changing your scene of study also help focus you on the course?

You feel a hell of a lot better for having got a productive amount of work done afterwards and have no guilt trips about relaxing in the evening with friends or whatever you want to do.
 
I'm with Housey. Man up, sort it out. You want to do something do it. The world gets a **** of a lot harder I can tell you. If just getting through this is breaking you, you stand no chance.
For what it's worth, I missed a year of uni due to a car accident and started retaking the year and ended up dropping out as I figured it wasn't the path I wanted to take. It's the attitude you have you need to focus on. You're coming across as self pitying and looking for a solution, but the solution is pick a goal and go for it.

It is harsh, but the world won't pull any punches or be kind to you.
 
Robosapien said:
I disagree, being brutal typically just makes someone feel worse, and hence more unlikely to succeed (although I recognise shock treatment might work in some cases).

There is no reason why any of this has to be an unpleasant experience, or involve 'knuckling down' - it can be highly enjoyable, so long as the work gets done. It doesn't have to be 'all or nothing', it doesn't have to be the pressure of 'succeed at this or ruin the rest of your life'. There is life, success, dreams, happiness, business, career after a degree believe it or not, it's a big world out there.

Encouragement simply doesn't work that way, and what the OP needs is some simple non-fear driven positive motivation for getting off the games and back into academic mode, after a bit of a one-off **** second year module result. OP, it's the third year that counts most anyway, so forget about that result and nail the rest and you should be fine!

What he doesn't need is the internet forum using it as a platform for individuals ego-boosting at his expense. (Which is pretty pathetic really.)
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All your opinion, I disagree. Softly softly is nice, twee and looks good to some, but often the shock doctrine has a place, it did with me. If our OP seeks a role in city life he will also need to take harsh critical comments. It's obvious the OP will like a view that supports his ego and gentle personality, that doesn't highlight reality and tries to make him feel lovely and warm, for that is what he seeks, but I'm fairly sure he will have that all the time from his friends and family but still plays games.

We have an individual who is admitting he is lazy, identifying how and explaining the damage her perceives. You can use lots of soft language but the resolution is simple. Stop playing games and focus on your education. He knows selling the games is a start, he has said so, so he needs to stop waiting for it all to be in place, for it never quite will be, and sell the stuff or dump it. The fact he hasn't when it's staring him in the face is telling. We have a mind and personality that struggles to focus or is easily distracted. If he knows that then fix it.
 
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Housey said:
All your opinion, I disagree. Softly softly is nice, twee and looks good to some, but often the shock doctrine has a place, it did with me. If our OP seeks a role in city life he will also need to take harsh critical comments. It's obvious the OP will like a view that supports his ego and gentle personality, that doesn't highlight reality and tries to make him feel lovely and warm, for that is what he seeks, but I'm fairly sure he will have that all the time from his friends and family but still plays games.

We have an individual who is admitting he is lazy, identifying how and explaining the damage her perceives. You can use lots of soft language but the resolution is simple. Stop playing games and focus on your education. He knows selling the games is a start, he has said so, so he needs to stop waiting for it all to be in place, for it never quite will be, and sell the stuff or dump it. The fact he hasn't when it's staring him in the face is telling. We have a mind and personality that struggles to focus or is easily distracted. If he knows that then fix it.
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Sure it's tough, I'm not trying to shield reality, but it's about adopting a positive mentality in the face of all that instead of feeling more and more **** about it and moping about. That's got to be a more worthwhile approach than 'dreading harsh realities and tough criticism'.

Reality is often what you make of it. Feeling good, positive and confident about taking things forward is more likely to result in further success. Soft language, feeling warm, massaging the ego - possibly, but what's wrong with that? Tools to help you along the way and ease your passage.

The resolution is not quite as straightforward when dealing with all sorts of emotions, and addictive behaviour. Whilst recognising a problem is the first step, doing something about it often takes significantly more effort. Human beings are complex.

Competitive, aggressive attitudes certainly have their place and can be beneficial when facing tough situations, but society would quickly fall apart if everyone did that all the time, there has to be an element of co-operation too. Otherwise you're just driving people further into being retreatist or reclusive.

So whilst shock doctrine as a fear based wake-up call has it's place, along with 'just do it' approach and 'stop waiting for everything to fall into place because it never quite will be', there needs to be a more positive strategy and frame of mind for taking things forwards beyond this because fear-based motivation, and a 'failure' mindset is ultimately just going to result in more misery, and more likely a relapse.


Personally I cannot imagine getting addicted to gaming now, it just doesn't interest me in the slightest, although I have been in that obsessive frame of mind in the past. Recognise it for the dull pastime it is!
 
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Robosapien said:
Sure it's tough, I'm not trying to shield reality, but it's about adopting a positive mentality in the face of all that instead of feeling more and more **** about it and moping about. That's got to be a more worthwhile approach than 'dreading harsh realities and tough criticism'.

Reality is often what you make of it. Feeling good, positive and confident about taking things forward is more likely to result in further success. Soft language, feeling warm, massaging the ego - possibly, but what's wrong with that? Tools to help you along the way and ease your passage.

The resolution is not quite as straightforward when dealing with all sorts of emotions, and addictive behaviour. Whilst recognising a problem is the first step, doing something about it often takes significantly more effort. Human beings are complex.

Competitive, aggressive attitudes certainly have their place and can be beneficial when facing tough situations, but society would quickly fall apart if everyone did that all the time, there has to be an element of co-operation too. Otherwise you're just driving people further into being retreatist or reclusive.

So whilst shock doctrine as a fear based wake-up call has it's place, along with 'just do it' approach and 'stop waiting for everything to fall into place because it never quite will be', there needs to be a more positive strategy and frame of mind for taking things forwards beyond this because fear-based motivation, and a 'failure' mindset is ultimately just going to result in more misery, and more likely a relapse.


Personally I cannot imagine getting addicted to gaming now, it just doesn't interest me in the slightest, although I have been in that obsessive frame of mind in the past. Recognise it for the dull pastime it is!
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But based on what I read on this thread the OP is perhaps surrounded by friends and family who have approached it this way and it isn't working. That is my point and I believe, purely based on our OP's posts in this thread, he needs a wakeup call, not a softly softly approach as this will allow him to fall back into the ways of old as it is quite obvious he has done more than once. Face facts or fail I think is appropriate right here, not 'just try this way instead and have a toffee'. Who knows, he will either sell his games machines and succeed, or not. My point about finding reasons not to is exampled by his comment about waiting for access to MM. Why wait, plenty of other sources out there, why does it need to be MM?
 
If I could portray just how stressful this past week of exams has been for me (3rd year economics) due to messing around last semester, you would put the games down and start revising.
 
Don't want to sound mean, but the grades you got at A levels should have been a hint that university just isn't for you. You can change though, don't go into the mindset of 'I'll study later'. Study now, study hard.
 
What turned my first year gaming partying attitude around was the fact that this **** was costing me 28k so I better get a good degree to get a good job to pay it all back.

You're at uni 238 days a year (12+10+12 week semesters). My 28k debt works out as accruing 117 a day You're paying £117 a day to sit on your arse playing games? You're paying 117 a day so that in 10 years time you're earning nearly twice that a day. Not sitting on a checkout.
 
Robosapien said:
Sure it's tough, I'm not trying to shield reality, but it's about adopting a positive mentality in the face of all that instead of feeling more and more **** about it and moping about. That's got to be a more worthwhile approach than 'dreading harsh realities and tough criticism'.

Reality is often what you make of it. Feeling good, positive and confident about taking things forward is more likely to result in further success. Soft language, feeling warm, massaging the ego - possibly, but what's wrong with that? Tools to help you along the way and ease your passage.

The resolution is not quite as straightforward when dealing with all sorts of emotions, and addictive behaviour. Whilst recognising a problem is the first step, doing something about it often takes significantly more effort. Human beings are complex.

Competitive, aggressive attitudes certainly have their place and can be beneficial when facing tough situations, but society would quickly fall apart if everyone did that all the time, there has to be an element of co-operation too. Otherwise you're just driving people further into being retreatist or reclusive.

So whilst shock doctrine as a fear based wake-up call has it's place, along with 'just do it' approach and 'stop waiting for everything to fall into place because it never quite will be', there needs to be a more positive strategy and frame of mind for taking things forwards beyond this because fear-based motivation, and a 'failure' mindset is ultimately just going to result in more misery, and more likely a relapse.


Personally I cannot imagine getting addicted to gaming now, it just doesn't interest me in the slightest, although I have been in that obsessive frame of mind in the past. Recognise it for the dull pastime it is!
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Quite a few great points here. :)
 
almoststew1990 said:
What turned my first year gaming partying attitude around was the fact that this **** was costing me 28k so I better get a good degree to get a good job to pay it all back.

You're at uni 238 days a year (12+10+12 week semesters). My 28k debt works out as accruing 117 a day You're paying £117 a day to sit on your arse playing games? You're paying 117 a day so that in 10 years time you're earning nearly twice that a day. Not sitting on a checkout.
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You had £28k of debt a year?!
 
@OP your chance of getting into 'banking' at least via a conventional route at most large banks re: anything to do with 'the stock market' is very slim indeed... its pretty much not going to happen for you, at least not right away. While I'm sure you may be able to land a back office/operations role that might not be exactly what you had in mind....

You've described yourself as possible 'autistic' - your grades likely already rule you out of roles in investment banking. In terms of other front office roles trading is likely a no go for you too (at least in a bank), sales might have been an option on paper... but the 'autistic' thing is the complete opposite of the personality they'd want... There are front office quants with introvert personalities... but you're doing the wrong degree for that.

You'll likely have to figure out what you actually want to do, at the moment 'banking' and 'I'm interested in the stock market' is ridiculously vague.... And chances are you'll be unlikely to do it at a bank right away...

Best thing you can do now, (aside from getting some work experience/internship in the summer) is just knuckle down and aim to get a 2.1 minimum...
 
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