Drinking too much


Apt username for thread contribution :D

I drink too much. Not dependent, but more of a routine. One I've got to break. Lost friends because of it. Recently it's started to affect my relationship. I'm in the early stages of addressing it and feel positive about the future.

Best of luck OP, I hope you're able to get sorted.
 
Anyone drink too much? If so, why?

For me, i got arressted twice in 2018 for drinking too much / harrassing ex.

Yea, bad i know but getting divorced after 31 years together is extremely tough to say the least.

I made myself a promise not to drink in 2019. Already failed! Why? Sad, down, depressed.

I turn to drink to hide from reality but it makes my depression worse.

Anyone elese experience the same?
Seek help.
 
I genuinely don't understand the desire to get drunk, or very, very drunk.

I know plenty of people, 30+ quite often, how advertise how they're "going to get absolutely wrecked this weekend."

I can't help feeling this is the wrong way to enjoy alcohol. The continentals seem to have a much better appreciation for alcohol.
 
I'm 3 and a bit years sober.

I have had a few tough times in life, and when I was drinking I used to say "if you had my life, you'd drink too", "I'll stop drinking once things get better", "I'm only drinking because this has happened, or that isn't happening". The truth is that I drank the way I did because I'm an alcoholic. Plenty of people have experienced much worse and not become an alcoholic.

If you feel that drinking is costing you more than money then I suggest you do something about it. In my experience problem drinking only gets worse. No alcoholic I've ever met has said they're drinking improved over time. The universal experience seems to be that of a downward spiral. I made several (unsuccessful) attempts at controlling my drinking, and another several (unsuccesful) attempts to stop drinking. I was unable to do it myself, the only thing that works for me is AA. It's what I'd recommend anyone who feels alcohol is costing them more than money at least consider.

If it helps, I'm happy to share my story, what it was like, what happened, and what its like now with anyone who feels that it might help them with their relationship with alcohol.
 
I've sort of slipped into the 'stealth alchy' model of drinking on a fairly regular basis, perhaps 5 nights a week, nearly always at home. Most of the time a couple of glasses of wine and perhaps once a week more excessively, either some spirits whilst watching football or during December more commonly after work drinks. It's the sort of situation whereby if England/Arsenal are on TV then that becomes an excuse to have a drink. With spirits my MO is typically a pint glass with vodka&coke or gin&lemonade, difficult to say how strong but I guess I tend to drink quintuples based on it being about 1 part alcohol to 3 parts mixer.
I've been drinking a lot of wine of late, as I get gifted a lot a in the run up to Christmas so had about 50 bottles in the house which I've been steadily ploughing my way through. Again, the excuse tends to be "I'm having this type of food, so I'll match it with this wine".

However, I don't noticeably suffer any effects from not drinking, if I go a few days without alcohol it isn't like an gasping for a drink or whatever. Would be an interesting exercise to found out the last time I went more than a week without drinking though. Equally drinking isn't something I do to escape, it's very rare I would ever think "things aren't going great, I need to get drunk" (if anything, it tends to be the other way round, I would use alcohol to try and enhance a good mood, rather than escape from a bad one).

I think I read some article a while back that my sort of scenario is getting more common, alcoholism is moving way from the traditional realms of say under-25s binge drinking every friday and saturday night, or an old working class man sat around in a string vest necking whiskey or stella. It's now couples in their 30s and 40s doing 1 or 2 bottles of wine every night of the week.
 
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Anyone drink too much? If so, why?
Why? Because alcohol and alcoholism is cunning, baffling and powerful. You’ll hear and read those 3 words a lot if you decide to seek help. And seek help you must, if you want to get out of the ever decreasing, destructive circle that alcoholism is.
While voicing your concerns on this forum can be seen as a positive it is only a positive if you are doing it with a clear and sober head.
I imagine you’re not clear or sober of head at this time - the first and often loudest cries for help usually come from a drink addled mind - initially.
You’ve already stated that you escape from reality, temporarily, by drinking but that it is making your depression worse. That’s the cunning (and some say the baffling too) It’ll convince you, like a devious acquaintance that another drink will make things a bit better. And one more and one more and, well, you know where this is going.
You’ll sober up and be baffled how you let yourself get so drunk, you’ll be baffled at how or why you said the things you said, how you did the things you did, because that’s not you. And you’ll swear it won’t happen again.
But life is crappy and that cunning, devious little ‘friend’ is powerful and it’ll start to convince you that today/tonight you’ll just have one. Just one to make the day feel a bit better. Just one, or maybe two, just to help you sleep. But sure what harms another going to do, you’re fine, you’re in control. You’ll just have one more. And the cycle continues.
Cunning, baffling, powerful.

There are ways out of the dire, dread inducing turmoil alcohol puts you in but you need to want to break the cycle. No one can force you to make the changes needed but there are plenty who will help.

Go to AA, sit in and listen - even if you don’t utter a word for your first couple of visits. No one will judge you, no one will lambast you or criticise you. No one will pour faux sympathy and sentiment on you. You’re not unique, you’re not the first and not the last person who’ll be conned and seduced by the booze into thinking that utopia rests in its embrace.
AA won’t cure you and you it might not be for you. But it’s free and you won’t be any worse for visiting a meeting.

Seek help. Wherever or however that may be. If you don’t, life may seem crappy now but it will only get infinitely worse.

If you want to talk more send me a trust message.
 
If you can OP try your best to give it up.

Its brutal I have drank solid every night for about 11 years, been in hospital loads of times.

Walking down the road bang I collapsed not drunken collapse but just hit the floor.

Last time I was in hospital I was under 24 hour supervision, on drips taking more tablets than I can think of. Ever wore nappy at 46 well I did, I cannot control my bowel movements anymore.

I am seeking help but not much works and yes I have also split from my partner of over 23 years.

I have also had MRI scan and CT scans, nothing comes up. Wait for the injections in your stomach when your trying to eat. :(

Try your best OP its a dark place and screws you up. Am there but trying to find the torch so to say. ;)
 
Cant have my gorgeous daughter with me

Now, assuming the bedsit/lack of your own house is the issue for not being able to have your daughter with you, this to me seems to be the thing you should focus on, the reason for quitting the bottle, and the reason to get up in the morning.

Your daughter sounds like she could be the positive in your current world of negative, and with enough desire/love for your daughter you shouldn't really fail. Sure, you may have the occasional blip, or take a step backwards every now and then, but that needn't be the end of the world so long as your goals surrounding your daughter remain constant.
 
Been there OP, and it gets a lot worse. It starts off with wondering why you got blackout drunk and did something stupid when you had only planned to go for one pint, and in my case ended with waking up in a bed soaked with **** and cigarette ash, finishing off the beer by your bed and going back to sleep in it because you've genuinely stopped caring. It's a horrible illness, and if it weren't for AA I'm pretty certain I'd be dead by now. As it is, I've been sober since 2006, have a great family and job and feel good about myself.

Change is possible once you truly understand that you're buggered and actually need help. Need help getting to that point? Try stopping drinking, and if you find yourself drunk, harassing your ex, and missing your daughter, chances are you might want to consider that you'll continue doing that and worse until you end up in jail or a morgue.
 
I love a beer and a gin and tonic (not manly I know) but the wife has been telling me for a while I need to chill out a bit. So I decided to do dry January and I have never felt better. Don't get me wrong I don't get ****** all the time but I was drinking too much. I might carry it on after January (use the money I save on my PC :D)
 
You guys are right. Got to stop. Drinking makes me even more depressed!

Trying to sort out my life. Accomodation is terrible but hoping that will change.
 
I probably drank more last year than in my entire life before that, due to a breakup and also dating again, alcohol certainly helps conversation and feelings flow :p.

Plus more spare time means my brother tries to drag me out to fuel his own issues and dependency with alcohol which he is very reticent to discuss.

Social drinking is the hardest to avoid but I need to say no sometimes and also either not drink when I meet him or stop after 1 or 2 and have a soft drink.

I never really understood how you could crave a drink so much you'd drink on your own but I did start to get the way.

Fed up of constantly feeling rubbish more than anything, you feel terrible for the whole day even without a headache, I develop a nasty cough and my mental health takes a hit for pretty much the whole week too.

Just one big nasty spiral.

Trying to have far more moderation this year even when I am drinking and so far so good, albeit only 9 days in :p
 
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You guys are right. Got to stop. Drinking makes me even more depressed!

Trying to sort out my life. Accomodation is terrible but hoping that will change.

If I've learned anything in the past few years, is that your situation can be terrible for years, and nothing except you will change that.

Don't put road blocks in the way; start today. Your goal should be one day at a time. Just one. Then another. And another.

It just starts with that decision to do something about it, and doing it.

:)
 
You guys are right. Got to stop. Drinking makes me even more depressed!

Trying to sort out my life. Accomodation is terrible but hoping that will change.

Do you have health insurance through work? My brother was able to get help via Bupa.
 
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