Dubious things video gaming has taught me.....

[adolf hamster]

figured this could be a fun idea for a thread, basic premise is simply things we do in video games that would serve you pretty poorly if you tried it in real life. it could be games in general or one specific game.

i'll start us off:

in general:
-if i'm ever sick i should always just walk near medical supplies and i will instantly feel better
-if i get shot i shouldn't worry, it'll be fine in a few seconds, or if not i can just sprint to the nearest medicine cabinet.
-i should run literally everywhere, and jump all the time when i'm not moving
-i can do anything, no matter how stupid or dangerous, as long as i press f5 first
-there is no combat situation that cannot be solved by the gratuitous use of grenades
-sprinting with multiple heavy weapons is just as easy as sprinting with a pistol
-talking of heavy weapons, why use a rucksack when i can carry everything in my invisible pocket of no gravity

from borderlands:
-when i've mortally wounded someone, my best tactic to finish them off is to immediately run away, hide and wait for them to die
-using explosive ammunition at point blank range is perfectly safe
-chemical warfare is perfectly acceptable

from gta:
-if i want a car the best way to do it is to run into traffic, open someone's door and shout at them to get out
-if i'm being chased by the police then as long as i can hide for more than a minute i'll be instantly exonerated of any and all crimes
-it's perfectly possible to shoot an uzi one-handed from a moving vehicle and hit a target over 100 yards away

from dirt rally:
-the only thing that ever breaks on a rally car is the radiator

i'm sure i can think of more but not right now, so ocuk, any other stupid lessons you've learned from video games?

 

[adolf hamster]

some good ones so far.

on the topic of skyrim:
-there's no point in using my sheild against arrows because until i level up then 2" of wood apparently doesnt stop them
-if i'm bad at sneaking then people can see me through walls when i'm not moving, if i'm good at sneaking they cant see me come at them head on in broad daylight
-full plate armour isn't heavy or bulky, so i can carry 5 full sets on me and still be able to fight
-i don't need to talk, ever, people just understand me
-i can safely climb down any cliff, no matter how steep or how high, if i walk slowly enough
-whilst i can pick up a longbow and instantly hit the bullseye every time, there's no point because even if i hit someone in the eye at point blank they'll just shrug it off

 

[adolf hamster]

another one from gta: the police won't touch me if i'm careering through traffic crashing into people in a stolen car, but if i mildly touch a police car with a car i own i'll get immediately shot.

from cod: the cheytac intervention is best used when quick fired from the shoulder (look up forgotten weapons video on it to see why that's really stupid advice)

in general: shooting people in the foot will kill them instantly

 

[adolf hamster]

after a bit of cod 4 nostalgia:

barrels of crude oil will immediately explode upon shooting, but a propane cylinder is bulletproof

helicopters can take several direct hits with rifle grenades and don't consider leaving the area

if you run fast enough towards a tank, you'll be fine

shotguns have a maximum effective range of 10 feet

if i carry a rifle and a pistol, i can carry only 420 rounds of rifle ammunition, but if i carry 2 rifles i can carry twice as much ammo without encumberment

the fabric covering on the back of trucks is bulletproof

you can easily pick up and throw back grenades

 

[adolf hamster]

The worst place to get shot with an arrow is the knee

indeed, and if you get an arrow to the face it'll do maybe 10% damage so no need to spend more than 30s looking for who did it.

 

[adolf hamster]

also, on a hit for hit basis, a 5.56 round from an m4 does more damage than the same round from an m249, because the m249 holds more bullets so it has to do less damage right?

also all revolvers are hand cannons that will 1 hit kill wheras all semi-automatic pistols are basically worthless.

 

[adolf hamster]

I'm thinking of having an F9 button fitted to my wrist so if I do something stupid I know I can press it and time travel to do it again correctly

Surely you need an f5 to go with that?

 

[adolf hamster]

more far cry 2:
church towers are the perfect place to spark a turf war in a town with a delicate cease fire because nobody but you can climb ladders
the ak47's reputation for reliability is utterly false, unless it's painted gold
having a grenade launcher is never a bad idea
my friends magically know what i'm doing when i'm talking to someone (because they ring me instantly after accepting a mission)

 

[adolf hamster]

maybe not dubious, but just given metro another crack and realised what i didn't the first time- dead bodies have ammo in pouches as well as their dropped guns.

yes i'm an idiot, but i'm an idiot with a rail gun and 570 rounds for his smg (as opposed to about 10 the first time i played)

 

[adolf hamster]

ok, so a couple from metro:
when opening a locker, in complete darkness, surrounded by heavily armed hostile troops, and you find an accordion, of course the only obvious thing to do is play a tune!
night vision=game breaking (well, tbf that's not really that dubious)
glow in the dark knives are invisible to enemies somehow