Eneucleation

First thing first, there is no getting around it... you are now obligated to purchase her a fake parrot and hat for the day she comes back home.

Secondly, really sorry to hear that... sounds like a vile thing to have to deal with.

Third, I suggest a pair of these:

 
Other thing is... for something to improve the times she doesn’t want to joke about it.

I did a quick google but blooming searches kept coming up with stuff about fake eyelashes, so not what I was hoping to find.

Given the technology available today for eye scanning, or even just generation from a high resolution image.

Surely there must be a place that can produce a high quality prosthetic for a cost that isn’t absurd.

Ideally would have them scan the one that won’t be hanging around for much longer before it is removed... that way it would be as close to the original as possible, rather than approximation based upon the eye that’s steyeing (see what I did there?).

That could at least give her some semblance of normality for the times she would feel better for it.

If interested and can’t find anything suitable, drop me a trust message and I would be happy to have a chat with my Doctory friends... I know some good specialists who know other good specialists... so sure I could locate something for you.

Jokes are great and it sounds like you both have a great attitude about it... lighting up the bad times in such a way make it all so much better... but I’m sure there will be times where a moment of normality will be important.
 
crinkleshoes said:
Other thing is... for something to improve the times she doesn’t want to joke about it.

I did a quick google but blooming searches kept coming up with stuff about fake eyelashes, so not what I was hoping to find.

Given the technology available today for eye scanning, or even just generation from a high resolution image.

Surely there must be a place that can produce a high quality prosthetic for a cost that isn’t absurd.

Ideally would have them scan the one that won’t be hanging around for much longer before it is removed... that way it would be as close to the original as possible, rather than approximation based upon the eye that’s steyeing (see what I did there?).

That could at least give her some semblance of normality for the times she would feel better for it.

If interested and can’t find anything suitable, drop me a trust message and I would be happy to have a chat with my Doctory friends... I know some good specialists who know other good specialists... so sure I could locate something for you.

Jokes are great and it sounds like you both have a great attitude about it... lighting up the bad times in such a way make it all so much better... but I’m sure there will be times where a moment of normality will be important.
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Yep, definitely. Make no mistake it's going to be one hell of a rough path but the end goal is worth it as far as we're both concerned. This is a woman whose been through things in life that will put most peoples' problems in to perspective so she's a tough old girl but this is still a terrifying prospect.

As for prosthetics, no expense will be spared to provide nothing but the best.


Oh and thanks for the kind words all, I think I even felt my soul return for a moment after reading all the encouraging replies :)
 
Diddums said:
Right well, here we go. I don't usually share this kind of thing but this terrifies me so here we are.

My the TL;DR (full explanation upon request) is that the tumour in my wife's eye is growing and it looks like the removal of the eye is the only solution. This has been on the cards ever since she was 6 so it's always been a case of when, not if. As far as I'm concerned this will be good in the long run as there's a chance it could spread to the liver and ain't nobody got time fo' dat. On top of this we both use up at least 10 days a year annual leave for hospital visits and the constant uncertainty of it being there has always been in the back of our minds.

Anywaysssssss, looks like time's up so it needs out. We're slowly coming to terms with it and have even come up with some stuff to make it light hearted, we're gonna call her Mike Wazowski, or Minion, or Popeye or whatever.

Now the hard part is that it's gonna suck, there's no way around that, and it's going to hurt like a bitch at first.

I want to make this as painless and support her as much as I can during what will be one of the most difficult phases of her life and that's why I'm here asking for suggestions. She'll need a patch for a while so I'll be getting all sorts of cool funky ones but as far as ideas go that's as far as I've gotten for now.

Anyone got any ideas?

Ta :)
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Geez, sorry to hear that. :(

Last time I had a toothache I took about half kilo of codeine and went from feeling like I'd been hit in the head with a hammer to feeling ******* great!

Also, cosmetic surgery doesn't have to break the bank:

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What an awful thing to have to deal with - all I can say is that it sounds like she’s in good hands with you, so just keep up with the support, I’m sure she appreciates it at such a hard time.

A giant sticky googly eye is sure to make anyone laugh out loud - but I don’t know her humour so it’s a bit difficult to tell if she would be up for that or not :p

Wish her all the best!

Malevolence said:
Eye surgery is no laughing matter, so afterwards just refrain from any making any crass jokes and just keep an eye on her.
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This was an unexpected lol :p
 
In hospital today, the quacks have had their round table meeting with all the pros to discuss her case and their conclusion was that they need to do a biopsy first as they're not entirely convinced it's cancer. Whether this is to genuinely try and save the eye or for research purposes is unclear but I wouldn't be surprised if it's the former: every single staff member we've dealt with here has been absolutely phenomenal, I honestly can't speak highly enough of Moorfields hospital. The only person who left a bit to be desired was the receptionist, she booked an appointment for today, then we got a letter saying it had been moved to the day after we received the letter, so we emailed the quack (we're on first name terms now, BFFs 'n errythang) and he sorted it. Bit of a mess but fixxored painlessly.

So now she has to take another 3 days off, I'll be there on the day of the biopsy but working the next two. Currently doing pre-op checks, watching Bargain Hunters in the waiting room, rather exciting stuff.
 
dowie said:
For example former PM Gordon Brown lost and eye/had a glass eye and people generally wouldn't have known if they hadn't heard about it/been told etc..
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if that's true then wow, i never picked up on it.

tbh these days i doubt people care much apart from possibly "oh, there's someone missing an arm/leg/eye etc wonder what the story behind that is"
 
best of luck to your Missus Diddums, that is also promising that she might still have an out left pending the biopsy.... either way she's in the right hospital for this sort of thing, IIRC the best place in the world for doctors to study this field is via Moorfields Hospital and the UCL Institute of Ophthalmology so she should be in safe hands :)

adolf hamster said:
if that's true then wow, i never picked up on it.
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https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2009/oct/11/gordon-brown-eye-check-questions

seems he's a patient at the same hospital Diddum's missus is at too (which perhaps isn't surprising)

anyway like you say, people wouldn't really know it aside form the fact it had been publicised, hopefully the fact it can be done well provides some reassurance for people facing this sort of surgery.
 
I don't have much to add mate except hope it all goes well as it possibly can....and get her blind drunk ;)
 
For an eyepatch:
Feed her a heavy diet of cheap cigarettes and rough whisky, to make her voice go all raspy. Get her a cobra tattoo on her belly and a black leather outfit, with some MAC-11s.
Call her 'Snake'.

For a prosthetic:
Get her lessons on speaking like an RSC actor.
Put her in a suit, get her a range of different eyes in a carry case, including one with a crosshair.
Then have her watch Charles Dance in Last Action Hero.

For a hot girl with prosthetic:
Rhona Mitra in Doomsday!!
Bonus - Remote eye-cam with smartphone app.

Who needs pirate jokes!!
 
Damn diddums, only just read your post in the other thread about hitting rock bottom.

Hope it all goes well, time/friends/family are a great healer.
 
doodah said:
Damn diddums, only just read your post in the other thread about hitting rock bottom.

Hope it all goes well, time/friends/family are a great healer.
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Cheers fella, I'm pretty numb to it all tbh. The crap my wife and I have been through is just stupid, it's rendered us pretty thick skinned, it takes a lot for us to be affected by anything nowadays. She's a trooper that woman, always comes out fighting.
 
Diddums said:
In hospital today, the quacks have had their round table meeting with all the pros to discuss her case and their conclusion was that they need to do a biopsy first as they're not entirely convinced it's cancer. Whether this is to genuinely try and save the eye or for research purposes is unclear but I wouldn't be surprised if it's the former: every single staff member we've dealt with here has been absolutely phenomenal, I honestly can't speak highly enough of Moorfields hospital. The only person who left a bit to be desired was the receptionist, she booked an appointment for today, then we got a letter saying it had been moved to the day after we received the letter, so we emailed the quack (we're on first name terms now, BFFs 'n errythang) and he sorted it. Bit of a mess but fixxored painlessly.

So now she has to take another 3 days off, I'll be there on the day of the biopsy but working the next two. Currently doing pre-op checks, watching Bargain Hunters in the waiting room, rather exciting stuff.
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You are at least in the best place. Moorfields is superb. Probably the best in the world. Talking to the doctor who dealt with my other half, he'd worked on about half a dozen F1 drivers as well as Indycar and MotoGP guys.

Best wishes to yourself and of course Mrs Diddums.
 
Flibster said:
You are at least in the best place. Moorfields is superb. Probably the best in the world. Talking to the doctor who dealt with my other half, he'd worked on about half a dozen F1 drivers as well as Indycar and MotoGP guys.

Best wishes to yourself and of course Mrs Diddums.
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Seconded, she's in excellent care there.
 
Cheers all, it was a long visit today, 6 hours in total but it's a small price to pay for world renowned health care and the staff are all fantastic. Long road but we're making progress :)
 
All I can say is best of luck to you both. That really sucks donkey balls.

I handled biopsies and loads of injections in my neck and head but in the eye...eeeeeek!

For what it's worth, a mate of mine has a glass eye and I never even noticed until he told me.
 
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