FAIL !!!
- Thread starter 4T5
- Start date
Wow, trying to get into the porn biz??
I've worked in support for the civil service and we did used to get some older users that - bless em - were really bad. I went out to this one ladies PC as she was complaining all the time of check disk messages on start up and the machine running really bad with errors all the time.
I sat with her for what must have been an hour or so coaching her on how to start up, login to network and navigate to websites on the Intranet etc. Anyway...when we were done she thanked me and was much happier. "I must go to lunch now my dear" she said to me and was done with using the PC.
Rather than lock the computer (ctrl alt delete) or put it into standby since it had several programs open now and a defrag running, she reaches forward to the otherside of the monitor and flips the mains power switch giving power to everything on her desk. She doesn't bat an eyelid and walks straight past me smiling and goes off to lunch. I was like... facepalm.
I sat with her for what must have been an hour or so coaching her on how to start up, login to network and navigate to websites on the Intranet etc. Anyway...when we were done she thanked me and was much happier. "I must go to lunch now my dear" she said to me and was done with using the PC.
Rather than lock the computer (ctrl alt delete) or put it into standby since it had several programs open now and a defrag running, she reaches forward to the otherside of the monitor and flips the mains power switch giving power to everything on her desk. She doesn't bat an eyelid and walks straight past me smiling and goes off to lunch. I was like... facepalm.
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ALso got to add my personal FAILURE as a teen. When I didn't used to know anything about computers, my mate gave me a copy of the original quake on floppies! Yes floppies before we had CD rom drives. It was on about 15 floppy disks and my mate wrote me out instructions on paper on how to use pkunzip. After a few hours of noobness I was really impressed with myself managing to get quake installed and up and running.
A few weeks passed and I was feeling confident in my "ability" with computers and decided to try to link up with a couple of mates on quake multiplayer over dialup. This was back in the day when modems were hot stuff and only just becoming popular. My Dad had just got his first pentium PC and it had a modem built in supposedly, not that we knew how to check. Anyway, I spent many evenings after school that week trying to get quake multiplayer to work over dial up and then one day in a conversation about it at school, I realised my error as I heard others talking about dial up....I didn't have a phone cable going into the back of my PC. I somehow believed it would simply work and I'd be able to see my friends online. < Nublet.
A few weeks passed and I was feeling confident in my "ability" with computers and decided to try to link up with a couple of mates on quake multiplayer over dialup. This was back in the day when modems were hot stuff and only just becoming popular. My Dad had just got his first pentium PC and it had a modem built in supposedly, not that we knew how to check. Anyway, I spent many evenings after school that week trying to get quake multiplayer to work over dial up and then one day in a conversation about it at school, I realised my error as I heard others talking about dial up....I didn't have a phone cable going into the back of my PC. I somehow believed it would simply work and I'd be able to see my friends online. < Nublet.
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Deleted member 651465
Deleted member 651465
Use paragraphs. My brain just bled a little 
I've got some gems from my IT support days.
To avoid making this unnecessarily log i'll summarise
1) the women who thought turning the monitor off was turning the PC off
2) the woman who thought a KVM was another computer
3) the man who installed encryption on his PC thinking it would stop others from accessing files over the network
4) the woman who left her PC on every night and had no idea that the PC had an on button
5) the man who plugged a 3G dongle into his work computer to get more speed on his torrents
6) the woman who thought you put the message board (used in doctors surgeries) " to sleep" every night - she had no idea all she was doing was leaving it using full power but displaying a blank message.
7) the woman who insisted they didnt have a server when it turns out it was in a cupboard under the desk and the only realised it wasnt working when all their work disappeared (it had crashed)
thats just the start. Ive got loads more lol.
To avoid making this unnecessarily log i'll summarise
1) the women who thought turning the monitor off was turning the PC off
2) the woman who thought a KVM was another computer
3) the man who installed encryption on his PC thinking it would stop others from accessing files over the network
4) the woman who left her PC on every night and had no idea that the PC had an on button
5) the man who plugged a 3G dongle into his work computer to get more speed on his torrents
6) the woman who thought you put the message board (used in doctors surgeries) " to sleep" every night - she had no idea all she was doing was leaving it using full power but displaying a blank message.
7) the woman who insisted they didnt have a server when it turns out it was in a cupboard under the desk and the only realised it wasnt working when all their work disappeared (it had crashed)
thats just the start. Ive got loads more lol.
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Soldato
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that or he just liked showing his woman off? dunno
we also hosted an escorts website and that woman off dragons den with the destination board game, shame really as she was hotter than the escort ha
Soldato
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How did he intend to click the buttons?
Soldato
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I tested a few of my spare computer power supplies using a multimeter but each one seemed to be faulty. I was plugging them into the mains, turning the switch but not seeing any voltages on the meter... I went through several before realising they don't just power on like that...
Soldato
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- The Motor City
Some lines from some old service call tickets I collected years back:
A coworker messed with her normal.dot (Word 6.0): "User gets 'Laurie is a big stupid jerk' when exiting out of Word."
"User said her phone bills are incorrect in their billing" - note, we do PC support. Also this call was for her home phone.
"User needs help setting up her worksheet to print. User doesn't want help -- she is just having me listen. User is talking to her printer and not really listening."
"User states he wasn't looking at the floppy disk and inserted it backwards."
"User can't remove CD ROM from CD disk slot." After checking, found user had put it between the CD ROM drive and floppy drive.
"User stated and I quote... 'Get somebody up here who was supposed to fix this right the first time, I am too old for this (beep)' and then hung up on me."
"User is no longer working with me - he is just sitting there and not trying any other passwords."
"User stated that 'somebody is screwing with the applications on the M drive and he wants it stopped!' "
"User wasted coffee on the keyboard." followed by "Explained to her that we do not support coffee at this site, and that she will have to go to the cafeteria for more."
"Customer explained that while the lights were out in her office, she was able to notice the whirring of the fan and hard drive in the system and they 'rattled her nerves'."
"User cannot print from the Access application. He feels the print drivers have been lost or stolen or something."
"Asked user if there were others able to log in. User states that she didn't care if anyone else was able to log on."
"User feels the PC has some type of 'thermal' problems as after about 3 hours of operation the PC starts locking up, and the icons start 'dancing on the monitor'."
"User stated that his printer is smoking. They have unplugged it." then the service desk dispatched the ticket to software support.
"User states that he is ready to pour water on his PC as he can't seem to get any help. User is fed up and will find some way to fix the PC himself."
A coworker messed with her normal.dot (Word 6.0): "User gets 'Laurie is a big stupid jerk' when exiting out of Word."
"User said her phone bills are incorrect in their billing" - note, we do PC support. Also this call was for her home phone.
"User needs help setting up her worksheet to print. User doesn't want help -- she is just having me listen. User is talking to her printer and not really listening."
"User states he wasn't looking at the floppy disk and inserted it backwards."
"User can't remove CD ROM from CD disk slot." After checking, found user had put it between the CD ROM drive and floppy drive.
"User stated and I quote... 'Get somebody up here who was supposed to fix this right the first time, I am too old for this (beep)' and then hung up on me."
"User is no longer working with me - he is just sitting there and not trying any other passwords."
"User stated that 'somebody is screwing with the applications on the M drive and he wants it stopped!' "
"User wasted coffee on the keyboard." followed by "Explained to her that we do not support coffee at this site, and that she will have to go to the cafeteria for more."
"Customer explained that while the lights were out in her office, she was able to notice the whirring of the fan and hard drive in the system and they 'rattled her nerves'."
"User cannot print from the Access application. He feels the print drivers have been lost or stolen or something."
"Asked user if there were others able to log in. User states that she didn't care if anyone else was able to log on."
"User feels the PC has some type of 'thermal' problems as after about 3 hours of operation the PC starts locking up, and the icons start 'dancing on the monitor'."
"User stated that his printer is smoking. They have unplugged it." then the service desk dispatched the ticket to software support.
"User states that he is ready to pour water on his PC as he can't seem to get any help. User is fed up and will find some way to fix the PC himself."
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Working for Virgin Cable Broadband
User complains she cannot get online. Checked the modem was online. Then told her we would need to see if she had an IP address. Got her to the DOS prompt.
ME : Type ipconfig and press the enter key please.
User : It says iccunflap is not a command
Me : Ok I will spell it phonetically
Me: Type I for india
User Ok love
Me : Type p for papa
User : Ok love
Me : Type c for charlie
User : Ok love
Me : Type o for oscar
User : Ok love
Me : Type n for november
User : Hey love was that n for november or m for movember
Another caller
Me: Just close any open windows a moment
Me : Waits in 2 minutes silence
User : I have just closed the bathroom window but I don't see how that will help.
Engineer arrives at a customer house to fit cable modem. When he arrives he can't see the PC. Asks customer where her PC or laptop is.
Customer "Oh you need a PC to use the internet"
User complains she cannot get online. Checked the modem was online. Then told her we would need to see if she had an IP address. Got her to the DOS prompt.
ME : Type ipconfig and press the enter key please.
User : It says iccunflap is not a command
Me : Ok I will spell it phonetically
Me: Type I for india
User Ok love
Me : Type p for papa
User : Ok love
Me : Type c for charlie
User : Ok love
Me : Type o for oscar
User : Ok love
Me : Type n for november
User : Hey love was that n for november or m for movember
Another caller
Me: Just close any open windows a moment
Me : Waits in 2 minutes silence
User : I have just closed the bathroom window but I don't see how that will help.
Engineer arrives at a customer house to fit cable modem. When he arrives he can't see the PC. Asks customer where her PC or laptop is.
Customer "Oh you need a PC to use the internet"
![[TW]Fox](/data/man-of-honor/2009.png){kind=avatar}
LOLOLOLOL WHAT LOSERS LOLOLOLOL
I mean imagine not knowing what a KVM was, what a complete loser.
Man of Honour
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[TW]Fox;17006257 said:
My sarcasm detector has just exploded Fox.
Can't think of any although im sure there have been a few family ones.
However a personal fail, when we got our first pc waaaaay back, I wanted to play a game at my aunties so simply copied the shortcuts from desktop onto a floppy.
I spent about an hour and a half trying to work out why it wouldn't open properly.
In my defence I was about 8 or something
However a personal fail, when we got our first pc waaaaay back, I wanted to play a game at my aunties so simply copied the shortcuts from desktop onto a floppy.
I spent about an hour and a half trying to work out why it wouldn't open properly.
In my defence I was about 8 or something
when i was in a school doing tech support a teacher came in and said she cant move the printer paper size slider to fit a4 in it, she was pushing it but it wouldnt go past half way to fit a4 in, i pushed it the other way and hey presto.