farther day

singist said:
As a father of two boys (31 and 33) the eldest of which didn't speak to me for something like 12 yrs ...... I would just like to say to all of you who seem to dislike/have issues with dad .....

Send a card anyway .......... it may or may not make the difference but what's a couple of quid, when it might just change things.

I know quite a few people who have had "issues" and left it too late ..... and regretted their inaction after Pa has departed this world .... yeah, sometimes we (dads) are ****s but we are only human, with many failings, just like you .....

be bigger than them and make the effort .......................... please :)
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Give this man 5 stars :)

I won't be getting a pressy because my Dad never wants one but we'll be heading to Swansea to visit for the weekend, go out for a nice meal and I will also get him a card .. I can't imagine being without my Daddy :(
 
This will be my first father's day since losing him :(. I'm going up to Somerset to visit my uncle so I guess we'll have a few beers in his honour :).
 
singist said:
the eldest of which didn't speak to me for something like 12 yrs ......
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Who made the first move?

My mum is a complete arse but I learnt about 17 years ago to not listen to her.
We had two periods where we didn't speak for about 8 months and both during my wifes pregnancies.
The second time I got both my babies out of their cots at 6am in the morning, drove half a mile to my mums, knocked on her door and put them both in her arms. I then told her to change their nappies and not to mention the 'DAD' word again (they had split up and she wanted me to take sides etc etc). Since then I don't listen to her and I've told my own teenage daughters to not listen to me because I say things I don't mean.
 
i've just ordered my old man a router for fathers day, and no it's not the kind you use for the internet, but rather the type you use on wood.
 
singist said:
As a father of two boys (31 and 33) the eldest of which didn't speak to me for something like 12 yrs ...... I would just like to say to all of you who seem to dislike/have issues with dad .....

Send a card anyway .......... it may or may not make the difference but what's a couple of quid, when it might just change things.

I know quite a few people who have had "issues" and left it too late ..... and regretted their inaction after Pa has departed this world .... yeah, sometimes we (dads) are ****s but we are only human, with many failings, just like you .....

be bigger than them and make the effort .......................... please :)
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Depends on what the problem is!

Did you cause immense problems to your kids at a young age though? Like emotional blackmail, suicide attempts, just letting them down and then as they grew older did you try to kill yourself some more? Did you beat women whenever you drank yet refuse to quit drinking and try to top yourself after doing it? Did you pour petrol over your new g/f while she was in the bath and threaten to light both of you on fire while her 3 young daughters where in the next room asleep? oh, and feel your daughter-in-laws ass?

Perhaps the reason these people dont want to send their dad anything and tell him what a wonderful father they are because their dad was a screwed up as mine!

Just because someone is your dad, doesnt mean you have to love them if theyve been a ****. Blood is not thicker than water in all cases.

I am being the bigger man because i honestly dont want my dad in my life, i wouldnt want his twisted ways around my future family. I feel nothing but pity for him and i honestly wish that one day he succesfully manages to take his life just so he can stop suffering. Sounds harsh i know, but thats what happens after 17 years of crap!

Only good thing i have got from him, i now know what i must do to give my future kids a good dad.
 
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dmpoole said:
Who made the first move?

My mum is a complete arse but I learnt about 17 years ago to not listen to her.
We had two periods where we didn't speak for about 8 months and both during my wifes pregnancies.
The second time I got both my babies out of their cots at 6am in the morning, drove half a mile to my mums, knocked on her door and put them both in her arms. I then told her to change their nappies and not to mention the 'DAD' word again (they had split up and she wanted me to take sides etc etc). Since then I don't listen to her and I've told my own teenage daughters to not listen to me because I say things I don't mean.
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A long story mate so I'll not bore you with detail except to say that his last words to me were ........ "the best day of my life will be when I can come and **** on your grave"

He knew I wanted contact but only when HE decided that things may not be quite as black and white as he thought did he speak to his mum (ex wife), who spoke to me and we eventually got back together ..... long emotional story but we are friends now and I even went to his wedding.

So, you see, it can change dramatically ....... I hope that some of you do the same.
 
singist said:
As a father of two boys (31 and 33) the eldest of which didn't speak to me for something like 12 yrs ...... I would just like to say to all of you who seem to dislike/have issues with dad .....

Send a card anyway .......... it may or may not make the difference but what's a couple of quid, when it might just change things.

I know quite a few people who have had "issues" and left it too late ..... and regretted their inaction after Pa has departed this world .... yeah, sometimes we (dads) are ****s but we are only human, with many failings, just like you .....

be bigger than them and make the effort .......................... please :)
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I agree with you. And until a couple of months ago I couldnt understand people who fall out with their parents, it seemed very alien to me. But my parents have cut off all contact with me (and also their three granddaughters in the process) because my marital situation has somehow personally insulted them. Never mind that I have and am still going through the most difficult time of my life and am also trying to get 3 kids through it too as unscathed as possible. No, apparently I've done it solely to **** them off and should be cut loose to teach me a lesson.

I should be the bigger person and send a card but I dont want to. They've hurt me more than I care to think about. When I'm deemed worthy of contact, they know where I am.
 
MNuTz and Pebbles - wow.

Looks like MNuTz is at the point of no return and I can respect his decision.
However, Pebbles situation is reversible as long as the wrinklies see sense.
My cousin didn't see his parents for 15 years because he was seeing an older married woman with children and they dissaproved. 15 years on and he'd proven them wrong. I kept on and on at him to go and see his mum and eventually he caved in and they're all best friends now.
 
My Dad isn't getting anything but tbh he doesn't want / need anything anyway. :p

I usually just buy him a pint but with him being back in Sapin from tomorrow I can't - so this year he finally got what he wanted... nowt :)
 
kitten_caboodle said:
Nothing :mad:

Why do all the cards say 'to the greatest dad in the world?'

Mine certainly wasn't, but I could give him one that said 'You weren't the greatest dad in the world, but then you never really tried..DID YOU!'. However, I'm finding a suitable one hard to come by.

:p
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At least you know where he is to send it to him. :p

(Unlike me)
 
Where can I get one of them leathermans?
Also, are they under £50? :)

What like, model is that?

Edit: It's about £100.
Screw that :mad:
 
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me227 said:
At least you know where he is to send it to him. :p

(Unlike me)
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And me.


He decided to run off with about 2k's worth of my stuff, including a TV (Which my mum got me about 3 months before this) PC, Stereo, Furniture, Clothes etc etc etc...

No idea why he done it, we used to get on OK, he seemed ok with me last time he saw me (I was moving out of the town he lived to somewhere else - he had the address though still). He also knows where my brother works, yet he still hasnt made contact etc. But TBH I dont think I want him to make contact with me. I havent seen him in about 5 years...

Not as bad as what some dads have done... but it hurt me at the time, but luckily I have moved on now, and dont let it bother me.
 
DJ Binks said:
And me.


He decided to run off with about 2k's worth of my stuff, including a TV (Which my mum got me about 3 months before this) PC, Stereo, Furniture, Clothes etc etc etc...

No idea why he done it, we used to get on OK, he seemed ok with me last time he saw me (I was moving out of the town he lived to somewhere else - he had the address though still). He also knows where my brother works, yet he still hasnt made contact etc. But TBH I dont think I want him to make contact with me. I havent seen him in about 5 years...

Not as bad as what some dads have done... but it hurt me at the time, but luckily I have moved on now, and dont let it bother me.
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Yeah, from various sources I know my dad doesn't know a thing about me and also that he doesn't really want to either. I never really got on with him too well as I saw how he treated my mum among other things.

I've walked past him in the city centre before and he doesn't recognise me at all, but I wouldn't go up to talk to him as I'm pretty certain I know how he feels about the whole issue.

But anyway, i'm over it and it never really has bothered me before.
 
A5H said:
Where can I get one of them leathermans?
Also, are they under £50? :)

What like, model is that?

Edit: It's about £100.
Screw that :mad:
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Basic one can be got for less than £30
 
me227 said:
Yeah, from various sources I know my dad doesn't know a thing about me and also that he doesn't really want to either. I never really got on with him too well as I saw how he treated my mum among other things.

I've walked past him in the city centre before and he doesn't recognise me at all, but I wouldn't go up to talk to him as I'm pretty certain I know how he feels about the whole issue.

But anyway, i'm over it and it never really has bothered me before.
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Yea, I sort of rushed what I put... He also treated my mum bad towards the end of everything... And my mum was struggling to pay bills etc when she left him, so to ease things slightly (as he refused point blank to pay any child maintenance) I moved back into my dads house for a few months, then came the time to move to where I am now, etc etc etc.... :)
 
Werewolf said:
i've just ordered my old man a router for fathers day, and no it's not the kind you use for the internet, but rather the type you use on wood.
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my dad being an antique dealer and specialising in woodworking tools i dont think he'd be impressed with one.


Anyway I got him Jarhead special edition dvd and because he likes his bbq's an 'extreme bbq set'

'Neanderthal Man and the modern urban male can at last be reconciled with this Extreme BBQ kit for real men! Indulge mans primal urges for hunting, pyromania, handling large slabs of meat and showing off to girls with this book of easy-to-follow yet incredibly dangerous and manly BBQ recipes. And if that wasn't enough, this set includes a 10m length of tape to cordon off the cooking area and prevent unqualified people lacking sufficient testosterone from entering the danger zone. '

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