Fear 'stops child development'

Fear and pain have a very important role in child development imo (and in adult life*).

If a child doesn't learn that doing something is going to cause them some pain they won't fear it and thus the lesson either isn't learned at all, or is learned slower - you can tell a child not to touch something that is hot a hundred times and they might not learn not to touch it, but after they've touched it and hurt themselves (hopefully only slightly) once or twice they should have learned to fear/respect it.


*A lot of people tend not to take the risks involved in driving a car, or using a power tool seriously until they've had a few close calls ;)
 
Playing outside and getting dirty is very important, especially when a child is developing their immune system. It's been proven that allergies are often associated with the non contact with potential allergens.

I know the paternal instict is strong, but parents should learn to give their kids some freedom.

On the flip side however, I don't think parents should let their 8 year old kids out roaming the streets in the middle of the night :rolleyes:

Burnsy
 
I agree with letting kids roam the countryside. I used to live infront of quite a large hill and mee and my brothers were allowed to roam it. We made our own boundaries and stuck to what we knew. There was a quarry at the top which we'd never go into, not from our parents telling us not to but out of natural fear. In another house I lived by a very large wooded area and learnt it like the back of my hand, i could wak to neighbouring towns just using the river.

I would, however keep my children indoors at night (ie. the old streetlight rule) and not let them take a bus to another town until they were responsible enough.
 
Depends on which fear you are talking about, what context its in, Child Abuse can very well cause Fear and put an effect on development, but feeling pain for the first time or times is an experience you can get over.

I deteste anyone who says smacking is ok for children, grandparents talk about it all the time and it gets on my wick feel like smacking them with a huge fist to knock some common sense in.

Fear does stop child development, but depends on what type of fear you are talking about.
 
I agree with all this too. Most people use anti bacterial cleaners these days too which doesn't help in the long run with allergies and priming the immune system. I don't use the anti bacterial ones at all.

Now we've moved out of London I'll be much happier about letting the kids out as they get older especially as they have friends that live close by as well.
 
Sinny said:
Depends on which fear you are talking about, what context its in, Child Abuse can very well cause Fear and put an effect on development, but feeling pain for the first time or times is an experience you can get over.

I deteste anyone who says smacking is ok for children, grandparents talk about it all the time and it gets on my wick feel like smacking them with a huge fist to knock some common sense in.

Fear does stop child development, but depends on what type of fear you are talking about.
Click to expand...

Why it does work, i got smacked when i was little (only for doing something very wrong repeatedly after being told) and a good slap on your arse does make you reconsider doing it again.


*oh I'm only 18 so not really a grandparent yet :/
 
i grew up in the Zimbabwe where children were (are) raised like they were in Colonial Britain. you do wrong, you got caned.

similarly, you (I) were allowed to roam free just about. i once rode my bike all the way into town (about 6 / 7 Km away when i was just seven) i don't have any known allergies like hayfever or Asthma and i'm generally more healthy than my friends.
 
Sinny said:
I deteste anyone who says smacking is ok for children, grandparents talk about it all the time and it gets on my wick feel like smacking them with a huge fist to knock some common sense in.
Click to expand...

That's very much to do with personal opinion though isn't it, not common sense.
 
Can't agree enough -

Back when i lived in a large town, the number of young kids now adays have absolutely everything done for them, and can't do half the things i used to be able to do (i'm only 24 now - but many a weekend was spent at a huge forest a mile from town, in a quarry, camping out for the weekend etc)

Nowadays, you'd never let a group of 13 yr olds go out like that.

Also, i now live on a very small island (with no crime and everyone trusts everyone), and the difference is astounding - a 17 yr old friend is very self sufficient, as he was always given the trust and opportunity to develop himself. He was allowed out on the open sea in his own boat at 13, has owned a shotgun since 14 and always went out hunting on his own.
 
Also - the kids who were completly looked after when they were young, pumped full of flu tablets and other medicine at the slightest hint of a cold - are ALWAYS ill in my experience.

My mum didn't care (or have the time to care) if i was ill, i just got over it - and as a result, i'm hardly ever ill (3 days off sick in 4 years at work!)
 
Tefal said:
Why it does work, i got smacked when i was little (only for doing something very wrong repeatedly after being told) and a good slap on your arse does make you reconsider doing it again.


*oh I'm only 18 so not really a grandparent yet :/
Click to expand...

Agreed. I was smacked as a child and I think it helped raise me as a good person and so would impose it on my children. I'm 20.

And just to clear things up; the type of fear on topic is parental fear for children getting hurt/sick etc. Not children's fear.
 
Sinny said:
Depends on which fear you are talking about, what context its in, Child Abuse can very well cause Fear and put an effect on development, but feeling pain for the first time or times is an experience you can get over.

I deteste anyone who says smacking is ok for children, grandparents talk about it all the time and it gets on my wick feel like smacking them with a huge fist to knock some common sense in.
Click to expand...

You sound like a really nice person. Smacking a child gently is bad, but you'd gladly punch an OAP in the face?
 
furnace said:
That's very much to do with personal opinion though isn't it, not common sense.
Click to expand...

I dont agree its ok to smack a child it should be common sense, i think it provokes people to be naughty, people say that it did worked ages ago but now in this day and age its not the same.
 
I don't agree with smacking at all and it doesn't teach children a good lesson does it, that violence is an ok way to solve problems and get what you want. The whole reasoning behind it is flawed imo and it doesn't work as if it did you'd never have to smack again but parents do.

I prefer the dr sears way of raising children, I've got 3 now and have no problems with any of them so far.
 
Wicksta said:
You sound like a really nice person. Smacking a child gently is bad, but you'd gladly punch an OAP in the face?
Click to expand...

No what im trying to say is they think smacking is ok, i used to be smacked all the time and wasnt really bad stuff was just mischievus stuff that general kids get up to, didnt help build my confidence up one bit made me angry in fact. thats probably the reason i hate it, so when my grandparents talk about it in general conversation it makes me really sick.

I have seen some really good examples of resolving bad situations, on an episode of Early Doors, where Craig Cash was talking about the Naughty Police, theirs better ways to resolve it than violence.
 
Last edited:
yer_averagejoe said:
Agreed. I was smacked as a child and I think it helped raise me as a good person and so would impose it on my children. I'm 20.

And just to clear things up; the type of fear on topic is parental fear for children getting hurt/sick etc. Not children's fear.
Click to expand...

it did me good too.... i pushed my dad too far and he smacked my arse a treat. only did it the once mind and i was being a right little ****. i've had to discipline my niece once or twice as she doenst have a father figure and its helped her i think as she knows what she can and cant do and knows that no really does mean no whether she scream/cries/stomps feet.

No swearing ~ Zefan.
 
Sinny said:
I dont agree its ok to smack a child it should be common sense, i think it provokes people to be naughty, people say that it did worked ages ago but now in this day and age its not the same.
Click to expand...

Why should it be common sense?

well over 2000+ of smacking or worse, few years of not doing it and apparently children devolve into marauding cannibals.

Also look at times when there was caining in school (ask your parents), In my school some girl threatened to kill the teacher while yelling in his face and he couldn't do anything, (she was ~16 iirc), they even had to get a woman teacher to try and calm her down, Roll this back to caining times, girl would have received a good slap then a bit of humiliating punishment before being kicked out of school (she only got suspended for a day). I don't know about you but i know which out come I would rather have.


Sinny where you ever smacked and under what circumstances?
 
Sinny said:
I dont agree its ok to smack a child it should be common sense, i think it provokes people to be naughty, people say that it did worked ages ago but now in this day and age its not the same.
Click to expand...

So the expectation of being punished actually causes children to be naughty ?:confused:

And it used to work but now it doesn't? Why not?

I was smacked as a child and it worked for me, i learned right from wrong.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom