Finding out cause of death...

Steedie · 13 Oct 2018 at 17:13

Hey guys,

I found out today that my mum passed away yesterday. I hadn’t been in contact for a few years for a number of reasons, reasons that seem so insignificant now.

My sister, who I also don’t talk too (dysfunctional family I know...) was the one to tell me, gave me next to no information other than she was found in her house and it wasn’t suspicious. Then she went back to blocking me on everything so I have no way of asking more. I have messaged her husband but she’ll probably stop me from hearing (she is an evil person).

I tried to speak to my local station to see if they know how I can get in contact with the right people to find out more. But they said they couldn’t really tell me anything yet but I’d probably have to find out from my sister as she is the next of kin so they have dealt with her. I mean, I know she’s dead and I haven’t spoken to her in a while but she’s still my mum so I want to at least know how it happened, if she was ill. The fact she was alone and they found her means I want to know she wasn’t lying there for days.

I’ve had a quick Google to see if there is anything, but everything I’ve found doesn’t take in to account for messed up family situations

I was just asking on here on the off chance that someone had been through something similar or knew the right channels to go through

Also, if you have any issues with your mum or dad and you’re not talking for whatever reason. Try and sort it out. You never know when it might be too late. I wish I had

Tefal · 13 Oct 2018 at 17:16

Can you contact the coroner?

Steedie · 13 Oct 2018 at 17:19

Tefal said:
Can you contact the coroner?

I’ll try and have a look. Is it by county do you know?

Will Google it now

Thank you

Minstadave · 13 Oct 2018 at 17:19

Tefal said:
Can you contact the coroner?

Coroner won't be directly involved if the GP can issue a death certificate. Death certificates are public record though so you should be to get a copy of that.

Pez · 13 Oct 2018 at 17:44

Steedie said:
Hey guys,

I found out today that my mum passed away yesterday. I hadn’t been in contact for a few years for a number of reasons, reasons that seem so insignificant now.

My sister, who I also don’t talk too (dysfunctional family I know...) was the one to tell me, gave me next to no information other than she was found in her house and it wasn’t suspicious. Then she went back to blocking me on everything so I have no way of asking more. I have messaged her husband but she’ll probably stop me from hearing (she is an evil person).

I tried to speak to my local station to see if they know how I can get in contact with the right people to find out more. But they said they couldn’t really tell me anything yet but I’d probably have to find out from my sister as she is the next of kin so they have dealt with her. I mean, I know she’s dead and I haven’t spoken to her in a while but she’s still my mum so I want to at least know how it happened, if she was ill. The fact she was alone and they found her means I want to know she wasn’t lying there for days.

I’ve had a quick Google to see if there is anything, but everything I’ve found doesn’t take in to account for messed up family situations

I was just asking on here on the off chance that someone had been through something similar or knew the right channels to go through

Also, if you have any issues with your mum or dad and you’re not talking for whatever reason. Try and sort it out. You never know when it might be too late. I wish I had

Sorry for your loss - Like you say, poor relationship aside, she was still your Mum.

It's odd that the police were unable to tell you anything if they did attend the address, if your sister is NOK then you are too.... all children are equal, so there is nothing stopping them speaking to you.

You will be able to order a copy of the death certificate here as like another poster says, it's public record - Obviously you won't be able to get a copy until after the death has actually been registered, which may be a couple of weeks based on how recent the death was.

I hope that's of some help.

Steedie · 13 Oct 2018 at 17:49

Pez said:
Sorry for your loss - Like you say, poor relationship aside, she was still your Mum.

I hope that's of some help.

Thank you

She lived about an hour away so it would have been a different station, but still would have fallen under Thames Valley Police so yeah, would have thought they could help me.

Will try again tomorrow when I’m thinking a bit more clearly. Went in there a bit lost and didn’t really explain myself well and the situation.

Diddums · 13 Oct 2018 at 17:52

Sorry for your loss mate, that's a rough one

clubb699 · 13 Oct 2018 at 18:23

Will definitely be on the death cert, sorry for you loss.

Raumarik · 13 Oct 2018 at 18:24

General registers office can get you a copy but obviously you'll need to have appropriate ID and your sister will have had to have registered the death with them first.

As a family member you are legally entitled to the last episode of care under DPA2018, you can ask for most but health trusts/boards have a duty of confidentiality even after death so they will likely try to simply get you closure than releasing everything.

Sorry for your loss OP, you'll have some very conflicting feelings in the next few months so give yourself time. Lost both my parents since 2016, know how it can hit you even years later when you least expect it.

FBi7 · 14 Oct 2018 at 08:38

Sorry for your loss, @Steedie.

How old is your mum?

Things differ from area to area, but this is how it works where I am. If there's no suspicious circumstances, then the Police wouldn't attend. If your mum was seen by her GP recently, a death certificate will be issued by the GP without issue. The GP probably still would even if they hadn't seen her recently. If your mum wasn't elderly and had no comorbidities, the coroner may become involved. If the ambulance service attended, paperwork would be left for the family to take to the GP, if they left your mum at home. If they took her to hospital/morgue, then they would have any paperwork.

Unfortunately, you may never find out exactly why your mum passed away. Sometimes it just happens for absolutely no reason, regardless of age. I do hope you're able to find out though.

Best,

FB..

Jamauk · 14 Oct 2018 at 08:50

Sorry for your loss, not something I've used but I wonder if this might be of some help https://www.oxfordshire.gov.uk/resi...hs-and-marriages/birth-and-death-certificates

Delvis · 14 Oct 2018 at 09:01

Ahh mate, so sorry about that

Always around for a chat if you need bud I'm relatively close particularly when at work.

I hope you can get some closure x

iamdjdz · 14 Oct 2018 at 09:05

Depending on which undertaker is used for any funeral arrangements, and if you can get that info (try local paper) they may be willing to tell you, they can be compassionate but also have their duty of care and protection.

Also, sorry for your loss, I lost my mother years ago as well

.

SexyGreyFox · 14 Oct 2018 at 15:17

FBi7 said:
Things differ from area to area, but this is how it works where I am. If there's no suspicious circumstances, then the Police wouldn't attend. If your mum was seen by her GP recently, a death certificate will be issued by the GP without issue. The GP probably still would even if they hadn't seen her recently. If your mum wasn't elderly and had no comorbidities, the coroner may become involved. If the ambulance service attended, paperwork would be left for the family to take to the GP, if they left your mum at home. If they took her to hospital/morgue, then they would have any paperwork.

FBi7 has given a great reply above and this also happens in my area.
You could apply to the GP Surgery for a death certificate but would have to go through whatever partnership they are with - here in Stoke it was the SSOTP but that has recently changed however the certificate might only say she has died.
If she was taken to hospital then there will/should be records there so you can apply for a SAR (Subject Access Request) through their Health Records department, at our Trust it is the Ministries department.
However, if it's only yesterday she died it could be ages before a PM is carried out, sometimes I don't get a PM for an Inquest that I'm working on until months later.

Sankari · 15 Oct 2018 at 10:22

Coroner's report.

ThestigGT999 · 15 Oct 2018 at 10:33

Sorry for your loss

Kanpai · 15 Oct 2018 at 12:18

Sorry for your loss, my condolences.

Steedie · 15 Oct 2018 at 13:55

Thanks everyone for the replies, really appreciate it.

Not sure how I feel at the moment. Saturday I was upset but since then I just don’t feel anything. I almost feel guilty that I’m not feeling more upset or sad. It’s almost just regret that I didn’t get a chance to reconcile.

It might hit me later on but for now, I only feel sad if I stop and think about it

wesley · 15 Oct 2018 at 14:17

sorry for your loss

might be a little too soon for the death certificate goes on the public record. wait for few weeks

will you be going to the funeral? you could ask around

skaif · 15 Oct 2018 at 14:17

Steedie said:
Thanks everyone for the replies, really appreciate it.

Not sure how I feel at the moment. Saturday I was upset but since then I just don’t feel anything. I almost feel guilty that I’m not feeling more upset or sad. It’s almost just regret that I didn’t get a chance to reconcile.

It might hit me later on but for now, I only feel sad if I stop and think about it

Sorry for your loss buddy, everyone reacts differently to the circumstances. Just surround yourself with close ones and talk it out (what worked for me) I generally feel better if I can sound it out rather than going nuts in my own head. Use this forums if needs be to vent, loads of decent people here who will support. It gets better in the long run. Just don't focus on any regrets and remember the good times (even if it means going back a few years!)