Finding out cause of death...
- Thread starter Steedie
- Start date
Soldato
Really sorry to hear about your loss Steedie.
It must still feel very raw and don't rush grief or bereavement, you will take your own time to process what has happened and your mood will peak and trough. Surrounding yourself with people who matter will help dramatically.
It must still feel very raw and don't rush grief or bereavement, you will take your own time to process what has happened and your mood will peak and trough. Surrounding yourself with people who matter will help dramatically.
Thanks again guys for all your comments. Really do appreciate it and highlights why I have stuck around here for so long, this community is awesome (when it's not discussing politics 
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Soldato
Sorry for your loss 
Sorry to bump the thread, just an update as a few people asked if it was confirmed it was suicide. And also a vent as I don’t really have anyone I’m comfortable talking to about it, prefer to talk to strangers, find it easier for whatever reason.
But anyway, the autopsy hasn’t been done yet or it’s in progress so no results. But we found a note in her house yesterday in the room she was found
Was very sad to read, I was hoping there was a note so it wasn’t a knee jerk reaction to something. As horrible as that sounds, I don’t know what I mean by that really, I guess just that it was what she wanted as opposed to something she regretted because it was spontaneous. She even talks about requesting a DNR if someone did find her. But I’m glad she left something and at least explained her actions, not that it makes what she did any better, but still...she addressed us all and talked about how proud she was etc. That was nice, hard to read but nice. Just made it all the more sad though
The note blamed a lot of things but she kept stressing that it wasn’t our fault and that she didn’t blame any of us. I don’t believe a word of it at the moment and still feel it’s all of our fault that no one reached out when she was obviously in need of someone.
Funeral is in 2 weeks, that will be tough.
But at least I feel like I at least have some form of closure now
But anyway, the autopsy hasn’t been done yet or it’s in progress so no results. But we found a note in her house yesterday in the room she was found
Was very sad to read, I was hoping there was a note so it wasn’t a knee jerk reaction to something. As horrible as that sounds, I don’t know what I mean by that really, I guess just that it was what she wanted as opposed to something she regretted because it was spontaneous. She even talks about requesting a DNR if someone did find her. But I’m glad she left something and at least explained her actions, not that it makes what she did any better, but still...she addressed us all and talked about how proud she was etc. That was nice, hard to read but nice. Just made it all the more sad though
The note blamed a lot of things but she kept stressing that it wasn’t our fault and that she didn’t blame any of us. I don’t believe a word of it at the moment and still feel it’s all of our fault that no one reached out when she was obviously in need of someone.
Funeral is in 2 weeks, that will be tough.
But at least I feel like I at least have some form of closure now
I get where you're coming from. We can make sense of situations and the sense that we all interpret is totally individual and different - that's the beauty of us all being unique, I guess! If you find that the note provides some semblance of minute closure for you, then that is important. Hold it close to you and remember that it wasn't your fault, even in your darkest moments over the coming months.
Concerning the funeral, having just been through this fairly recently, we had a celebrant funeral which was not a somber occasion, and in fact celebrates the life of the individual, instead of everyone being reminded of their passing. We all wore bright shirts/ties/suits too, to make things easier and less stereotypical, and I think it did work. The day was hard at times, especially following the Herse but celebrant definitely made it an easier experience. It may be too late to change, or you may already have an idea or religious theme in mind, but that would be my advice, celebrant every time.