Exactly what I am finding, I really didnt like (or to be honest, get involved much) with the early baby stages. It is getting much better now as i say, and I can see it being great when he turns into a little boy who can actually do proper things.
First time dad
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Exactly what I am finding, I really didnt like (or to be honest, get involved much) with the early baby stages. It is getting much better now as i say, and I can see it being great when he turns into a little boy who can actually do proper things.
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Think of it as top trumps with a rating for love, everything you've ever loved has just been relegated. There's a new card in the pack and it trumps everything.
Unless you have two or more then picking a favourite is tough.
Unless you have two or more then picking a favourite is tough.
Don't worry bonding should just happen. I had my son at 36 and I had similar feelings. My wife had an emergency C-section so I was the first person to hold and see him, I bonded then and it just gets better.
Just try your best, play with them, make them smile and it will all work.
One thing I have learnt is after the honeymoon period, things can get hard, very hard especially if you don't have a sleeper which we didn't. Remember to try and get alone time for both yourself and your wife, you will need it, and don't worry if you get angry and stressed, you will and it's normal - don't be too hard on yourself
Just try your best, play with them, make them smile and it will all work.
One thing I have learnt is after the honeymoon period, things can get hard, very hard especially if you don't have a sleeper which we didn't. Remember to try and get alone time for both yourself and your wife, you will need it, and don't worry if you get angry and stressed, you will and it's normal - don't be too hard on yourself
This is the bit I am most terrified about with our second. My son was an awful sleeper (and he sometimes is now too), for the first 18months or so he was up 5 / 6 times a night
Pleased to read some of the responses here. I like children and after getting married last year we are working up to it.
However I am pretty sure I will be in the same boat as the others here. The manic fussing that people do with babies, I just don't get. Yes they are special but treating them as play things simply because they are helpless I find odd. I think thy expectation to go all giddy and gooey over them is quite high and you are looked down on if you don't.
However I am pretty sure I will be in the same boat as the others here. The manic fussing that people do with babies, I just don't get. Yes they are special but treating them as play things simply because they are helpless I find odd. I think thy expectation to go all giddy and gooey over them is quite high and you are looked down on if you don't.
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MookJong, I'm mostly the same, your own kid is the exception though. I do love my cousins kids but that's because I've spent time with them, random baby in the street though? Nah not going to get all giddy about (wife does though but she's constantly broody).
I was the same as many others here - I don't really like kids at all.
The first couple of years with my daughter still felt really disconnected, but as she started to become 'coherent' and able to interact with me on a more 'logical' level, things improved.
Now, at 5 1/2, we're best friends and a great team. I still don't like kids, but she's *my* daughter and anyone having a problem with her, has a problem with me - I've reached true Dad status
The first couple of years with my daughter still felt really disconnected, but as she started to become 'coherent' and able to interact with me on a more 'logical' level, things improved.
Now, at 5 1/2, we're best friends and a great team. I still don't like kids, but she's *my* daughter and anyone having a problem with her, has a problem with me - I've reached true Dad status
First year I could have given my son to someone else, come back at the end of the year and not missed anything whatsoever. It wasn't enjoyable, full of aggravation and you get nothing back from it whatsoever despite doing everything for them. My son couldn't have been easier too, sleeping the entire night after just 5 weeks and never crying unless he was ill. After 12 months they learn so much, first walking and then starting to talk.
He is just under 2 and a half years old now and he is quality, we have such a laugh and of course there are tough days but generally it's great fun. I can ask him what he wants to do and we will go for a walk, swimming or to the skate park on his scooter. Watching him pick things up and learning new skills is great, anything that makes him happy makes you 100x happy. Fantastic stuff.
He is just under 2 and a half years old now and he is quality, we have such a laugh and of course there are tough days but generally it's great fun. I can ask him what he wants to do and we will go for a walk, swimming or to the skate park on his scooter. Watching him pick things up and learning new skills is great, anything that makes him happy makes you 100x happy. Fantastic stuff.
Babies could learn from baby animals, people go gooey over all of them, haha.
so true
before i couldn't really care less hehe
she's 12 this year and i love her more than ever unbelievable feelings of love i have for my girl oh and the wife but dont tell her that hehe
Lots and lots of good thoughts and advice in this thread so far. Perhaps a first for GD 
My first was a boy and I bonded with him immediately. It's amazing how excited you can get over a new gurgling sound or a hand flapping at (and missing) a toy. Now he's 2 and is absolutely amazing. The best thing to ever happen to me. Apart from the wife of course, but in different ways.
My second is a girl and she's been much more difficult. Lots of crying, lots more hard work. After 4 months it's settling down and I'll likely start to bond with her.
Hard work babies can genuinely be unpleasant when they are too young to have a personality. It doesn't last though and what's 3 months of your life anyway when you've reached 40...
My first was a boy and I bonded with him immediately. It's amazing how excited you can get over a new gurgling sound or a hand flapping at (and missing) a toy. Now he's 2 and is absolutely amazing. The best thing to ever happen to me. Apart from the wife of course, but in different ways.
My second is a girl and she's been much more difficult. Lots of crying, lots more hard work. After 4 months it's settling down and I'll likely start to bond with her.
Hard work babies can genuinely be unpleasant when they are too young to have a personality. It doesn't last though and what's 3 months of your life anyway when you've reached 40...
Caporegime
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Just turned forty and my youngest is 13. Pleased I had them 'early' so I will be this side of 50 when they've buggered off out of the house!
Wishful thinking. Nowadays young adults stay at home as it's too much money to live on there own.
Soldato
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My 2nd child had reflux from birth and was a handful compared to the 1st child. Took time to bond. Sometimes its hard when the only thing a new born does is cry,eat,sleep and cry some more.
For woman I guess its easier to bond as they have 9 months start on the whole thing.
It takes a bit of time IMO. During thepregnancy I got a stronger connection to my wife but the whole baby concpet was alien. After the birth everything is just a crazed sleepless blur but seeing her for the first time was definitely changed me emotionally forever. It then took several weeks at least before I felt that kind of bond again. She was just a pooping, eating, sleeping alien. It took time for the realization to sink in.
I felt something but it soon vanished with the months of endless nappy changes, sleepless nights and relatively little interaction. One she started smiling back, saying 'dad da', crawling towards me to play etc. then things rapidly changed.
Congrats!
Don't over-think it and go with the flow. You may feel connected the second you hold him....or it might not happen until he's capable of interacting with you more.
With my first, I thought he was awesome straight away but didn't really "connect" with him until he was 18 months. However, my second (2 months old today!) I just adored from the second he popped out. Like I said, don't over-think it!
