FML

[fiveub]

Today, for April fools I decided to set off the smoke detectors in my friends apartment while he was sleeping and saran wrap the outside of his bedroom doorway so he would smack into it. Instead, he jumped out the window and broke his leg. FML

Today, my boyfriend was in the shower, and I decided to go join him. I took all my clothes off and stepped into the bathroom. I slipped on some water, and ended up hitting my head on the toilet and passing out. When I came to, I saw my boyfriend's dad looking over me in his towel. Wrong person. FML

Oops!

 

[Ben M]

Today, my grandma gave me the 'abstinence' speech. I had thought she already left to go back to FL but then came into my room to tell me how proud she was of me to keep my virginity. I was doing it doggie-style with my boyfriend.

 

[Nix]

Today, I was playing with my pet hamster and I decided to put it down my pants for fun. It started running around and I actually got aroused. My mom then proceeded to walk into my room to see me with an erection and my pet hamster poke his head out of the hole in my boxers. FML

HAHA! I wouldn't put that past a few people on here really!

 

[Ben M]

HAHA! I wouldn't put that past a few people on here really!

nah, this is more like some people on here:

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he finally entered me, then paused and asked me, "what do I do now?"

or this:

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock.

 

[georges]

Today, my tampon string was hanging from my bathing suit. My boyfriend thought it was a thread hanging from my bikini bottom. He publicly pulled out my tampon. FML

BAD! I can imagine the grave realisation about what he did dawning on him