Friday Funny

[loltim]

I always find people who don't get the joke funnier than the joke, cheers guys!

i dont get it either

 

[DAIR]

I saw the funny side.... However, I failed to giggle!

 

[TheMightyTen]

Never even heard of Punch & Judy before I looked then. Probably why I still don't get it.

But it's an institution and an important part of the growing up experience (as in grow up fast or this surreal **** will frighten the willies out of you )

 

[StoutMeister]

Just slept with a girl with a stutter last night. I just managed to finish before she said no.

A woman's dishwasher breaks down so she calls a repairman out. She has to go out so tells hm "Don't worry about the pitbull, he won;t bother you but whatever you do don't under any circumtances talk to my parrot"

The man starts work, wary of the biggest, meanest looking pitbull he's ever seen but he just lays there watching him work. The parrot however, drives him nuts, yelling and cursing. Finally the man snaps and yells "Shut the **** up, you annoying *******!"

Parrot replies "GET HIM SPIKE"

Niceee.

 

[Sp00n]

Never even heard of Punch & Judy before I looked then. Probably why I still don't get it.

Well I'm not surprised, you're only 3 years old.

 

[Cosimo]

LOL @ Punch and Judy

 

[GingerNinja1989]

I feel sorry for the people not getting it

Only took about two hours to get it here

 

[Rainmaker]

LOL @ Punch and Judy. I too feel sorry for any younger members not exposed to this epic institution whilst growing up.

 

[Deadbeat]

I got lols \o/

 

[Cosimo]

I got lols \o/

.... and you've got a few cookies, here, have a few.

 

[Greebo]

.... and you've got a few cookies, here, have a few.

where's my cookies?

 

[Combat squirrel]

lolSickipediaCopyPasta

 

[MikeHunt79]

Our lass has worked as a magician's assistant for years now. I think she has picked up a few tricks. I came home from work early today and she was in the bedroom. She said, "Abracadabra!" and my mate, Dave, came out of the wardrobe, stark naked.

Poor bloke must have wondered what was going on.

It's always Dave isn't it...

I came home from work early one night to find my wife and my best mate, sweaty and breathless in the living room. I said, "What's going on?"

My wife said, "Erm... We've been playing on the Wii Fit." She winked at my mate and said, "Dave did VERY well."

As I walked out of the room, I heard them giggling and calling me a "****head", but I had the last laugh. I checked the next day, and none of his scores had even registered!

 

[Derek W]

Good to see punch and judy going completely over the young lads heads

Andy Gray’s Letter of Resignation

Dear all,

I am so sad to be leaving a company that I have served long and hard for, for over 20 years. In fact I would like to go out on a high and so……….

A woman gets a job as a physical education teacher of 16 year olds. She notices a boy in the field standing alone at one end of the field, while all the other kids are running around at the other end having fun. She takes pity on him and decides to speak to him.


"You ok sweetheart?" she says.


"Yes Miss" he replies.


"'You can go and play with the other kids if you want" she says.


"It's best I stay here Miss." he says.



"Why?" she asks.


The boy replies: "Because I'm the ******* goal keeper"