Friday Joke.

iCraig

iCraig

iCraig

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The love story of Jim and Edna:

Jim and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.
Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.
When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.

When she went to tell Edna the news she said, "Edna, I have good news and bad news."

The good news is you're being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love, I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness.

The bad news is, Jim, hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead."

Edna replied, "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry..

How soon can I go home?"
 
Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven , God went missing for six
days.

Eventually, Archangel Michael found him on the seventh day
resting.

He enquired of God, "Where have you been?"

God pointed downwards through the clouds. "Look Michael, look
what I've made" said God.

Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?"

"It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put LIFE on it. I'm
going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance."

"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused.

God explained, pointing down to different parts of the Earth,
"For example, North America will be a place of great opportunity and
wealth

while South America is going to be poor; the Middle East over
there will be a hot spot and Russia will be a cold spot. Over there I've
placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black
people."

God continued, pointing to the different countries" This one
will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and
covered in ice."

The Archangel , impressed by God's work, then pointed to another
area of land and asked, "What's that?"

"Ah," said God. "That's the North of England, the most glorious
place on earth. There are beautiful people, and many impressive cities; it is the home of the world's finest artists, musicians, writers, thinkers, explorers and politicians. The people from the North of England are
going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they're going to be
found travelling the world.

They'll be extremely sociable, hard-working and high-achieving,
and they will be known throughout the world as speakers of truth."

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed,
"What about balance God, you said there will be BALANCE!"



God replied very wisely, "Wait till you see the bunch of *******
I'm putting down South!"

:D
 
Speaking from a point of view of people with mental health issues, I found the first joke very funny and slightly disturbing as I have met people like this. Thanks for the laugh :)
 
iCraig said:
The love story of Jim and Edna:

Jim and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.
Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.
When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.

When she went to tell Edna the news she said, "Edna, I have good news and bad news."

The good news is you're being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love, I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness.

The bad news is, Jim, hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead."

Edna replied, "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry..

How soon can I go home?"
Click to expand...

Thats ace. :D
 
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