For me it's just lazy or people apportion blame to those who can't defend themselves (ie, the kids need to be in bed by 6pm). No they don't, utter horsecack. Kids will sleep if kids need to sleep. We have friends who bring their newborn baby out with them everywhere, evening meals, pub drinks, everything, and their older boy comes too. Just asleep, or, awake for a bit, then he falls asleep. Went out to downtown Disney the other night, near on 10pm, and it was full of parents who realise, their lives will just come to a crashing end if they start to let their children rule their social lives. Most of the kids were asleep or still awake totally enjoying the experience.
Friends that cant be bothered
- Thread starter Guest2
- Start date
Organising a visit to a brewery with strangers would be easier to do than organising any sort of outing with friends and that includes going out for a meal.
“Let me just check my diary and run it past my wife…………………………”
Thinks "Ok, I'll try another time or maybe I just won't bother".
“Let me just check my diary and run it past my wife…………………………”
Thinks "Ok, I'll try another time or maybe I just won't bother".
Caporegime
- Joined
- 18 Sep 2009
- Posts
- 30,506
- Location
- Dormanstown.
You must be my long lost twin or something.....what you've decribed is me and my un-organised mates!!
and OP...i understand exactly what you're on about and have experienced similar things at times.
Last Friday, we were all sat down, about 13 of us, I went out for a drink at another bar to meet up with a lass, I got back, everyone had disappeared, and the remaining were asking me where everyone was, about 20 minutes later, they're all back
Soldato
- Joined
- 23 May 2005
- Posts
- 2,964
- Location
- Auckland, New Zealand
I can say that I'm subjected to a terrible guilt trip if i do anything that doesn't involve my girlfriend, even though i happily let her do her own thing.
I've got a mate who is known as the 'serial arranger' in that he arranges stuff for us to do all the time but never shows up.
He once arranged a BBQ at another persons house and never turned up. Nights out and meals go the same way.
It's bizarre.
He once arranged a BBQ at another persons house and never turned up. Nights out and meals go the same way.
It's bizarre.
Associate
- Joined
- 23 Mar 2009
- Posts
- 2,014
- Location
- Peterborough
I've found this happens a lot now I've grown older. As people have gained more commitments and now pretty much all have partners it becomes difficult to do what we used to be able to do and just go out all the time or on a whim. Also since university etc. everyone has branched across the world and as such getting together is sometimes difficult. I don't consider it as my friends getting lazy though, I just figure it's the way life is. It is simply impossible for me to maintain the sort of social life I had several years ago as there isn't enough hours in the day. So I just see people when I can and despite not seeing some of my friends for even years I find I can just pick up where I left off all those years ago.
As someone who doesn't have a tight knit group of friends and just floats between numerous social circles I don't find this a problem. Perhaps if I did just associate in a small close group of friends it may bother me more but with the way I am it doesn't.
OP I wouldn't worry yourself with this, it will more than likely become more common as time goes on. As others have said just go out with whoever wants to go out. There's no need for everyone to be out if you can have a good time just a few of you. Sure it's nice but sometimes plans will work out, other times they'll collapse but don't take it to heart. I find I have a lot more friends now but much fewer close friends than when I was say in college, I dunno perhaps this is just me.
As someone who doesn't have a tight knit group of friends and just floats between numerous social circles I don't find this a problem. Perhaps if I did just associate in a small close group of friends it may bother me more but with the way I am it doesn't.
OP I wouldn't worry yourself with this, it will more than likely become more common as time goes on. As others have said just go out with whoever wants to go out. There's no need for everyone to be out if you can have a good time just a few of you. Sure it's nice but sometimes plans will work out, other times they'll collapse but don't take it to heart. I find I have a lot more friends now but much fewer close friends than when I was say in college, I dunno perhaps this is just me.
Have you considered not everybody needs social contact as much as you.
From a personal perspective, most of my enjoyment is from activities I do alone (playing guitar/painting/gaming) - if it's not intellectually stimulating I find it boring.
Not everybody enjoys getting hammed in a pub & we all have annoying friends who need to grow up & stop annoying us into doing boring stuff.
As I got older my friends appeared dumber and dumber.
From a personal perspective, most of my enjoyment is from activities I do alone (playing guitar/painting/gaming) - if it's not intellectually stimulating I find it boring.
Not everybody enjoys getting hammed in a pub & we all have annoying friends who need to grow up & stop annoying us into doing boring stuff.
As I got older my friends appeared dumber and dumber.
I'm like this. Except I turn up
I sued to go to dance nights on my own a few years ago in other cities. Fantastic nights, meet new people, dont have to worry about what you say, if you dont get on with someone, simly dont see them again
a lot of my friends are either too busy, too tired (from work), or just not in the mood, as you get older and you get more commitments it IS difficult to find the energy to go socialize sometimes, especially if you have a hectic lifestyle or work odd/long hours.
However I have noticed general enthusiasm for pretty much everything can wane as you get older and struggle to adapt to the 9-5 modern lifestyle, partners boy/girlfriends and flatmates where you are compelled or forced to interact with are the exception of course!
I have a lot of good, close friends who have grown distant over the past year or two irrespective of distance or circumstance, thank goodness for the younger generations and new friends I managed to make along the way!
However I have noticed general enthusiasm for pretty much everything can wane as you get older and struggle to adapt to the 9-5 modern lifestyle, partners boy/girlfriends and flatmates where you are compelled or forced to interact with are the exception of course!
I have a lot of good, close friends who have grown distant over the past year or two irrespective of distance or circumstance, thank goodness for the younger generations and new friends I managed to make along the way!
Permabanned
- Joined
- 10 Dec 2008
- Posts
- 4,080
- Location
- London
A lot of friends activities stop when they get girls.
Then you realise that your social activites you thought everyone was loving were only actually ever a vehicle for some of them to use to get to the girls in the first place. They actually dislike clubbing/pubbing/travelling/paintballing/go-karting/football/everything but watching tv. But thought they had to do it to get a girl. In other words -- you got played!!
Funny enough, when they're back single again they think it's reasonable to come out with the group again as if nothing had happened. Not that I'm bitter .. :/
Then you realise that your social activites you thought everyone was loving were only actually ever a vehicle for some of them to use to get to the girls in the first place. They actually dislike clubbing/pubbing/travelling/paintballing/go-karting/football/everything but watching tv. But thought they had to do it to get a girl. In other words -- you got played!!
Funny enough, when they're back single again they think it's reasonable to come out with the group again as if nothing had happened. Not that I'm bitter .. :/
I noticed this in my mid to late 20's that it was hard to organise things anymore and people always made excuses, but we fixed it my organising a regular meet up. Every week we now go out for a meal on a thursday evening. there is always a hard core of 4 attenders, but all the others know we will always be out on a thursday and can come along. All the girlfriends/wives accept this and we get no grief from them (I suspect they actually enjoy a regular night without us also) a regular meet up also is a great time to get the diaries out and organise other stuff as we're all there and we can't make excuses.
You need to work on friendships as you get older otherwise it's easy to drift apart as girlfriends come in and then wives and then babies, but so far we've managed to keep our regular get togethers going for 7 years and it has survived all of the above.
You need to work on friendships as you get older otherwise it's easy to drift apart as girlfriends come in and then wives and then babies, but so far we've managed to keep our regular get togethers going for 7 years and it has survived all of the above.