I'm over it now.
Galloping knob rot etc.
- Thread starter Jono
- Start date
I'm over it now.
Soldato
- Joined
- 17 Nov 2005
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- Chippenham, UK
I've been to the sexual health clinic at Swindon's Great Western Hospital. 
Most wards are named after planets. It's a shame they didn't call the clinic 'Uranus'.
Anyway, I had a genital wart that needed to be frozen off.
Then they suggested I had a blood test to see if I had owt else.
I then got the results back by phone.
"Press 1 if you think you have herpes"
#1
"You do not have herpes"
"Press 2 if you think you have HIV"
etc...
Most wards are named after planets. It's a shame they didn't call the clinic 'Uranus'.
Anyway, I had a genital wart that needed to be frozen off.
Then they suggested I had a blood test to see if I had owt else.
I then got the results back by phone.
"Press 1 if you think you have herpes"
#1
"You do not have herpes"
"Press 2 if you think you have HIV"
etc...
It's an embarrassing story but one I will share for education purposes....
I once came out with spots and blisters all over the fella.
It was a Friday when it started so I couldn't go to the clinic. I had a whole weekend of nerves, lack of sleep and anxiety. I couldn't sit still - couldn't play a game on the PC, or watch a movie. Concentration was zero. I spent the whole time thinking of everyone i'd slept with in the last 6 months, reading symptoms on the internet and trying to draw conclusions. I felt my life was over....
So come Monday I take myself to the clinic (which conveniently was a few minutes walk from my work).
The lady asks me the usual questions, pressed a few key areas near my hips, hmmmmed and haaaaed but seems stumped. She called in another doctor who also had no idea.
At this point I started to get really worried.
So they asked me to wait a while they fetched the head honcho. There are two hospitals near this clinic and he was there by chance. A real big wig on STD's. Le Grande Fromage. So he arrived with a colleague and by this time I have four doctors staring at my junk and it's getting to the stage where the receptionist is thinking of arranging some tea and cakes for the gathering.
The head honcho asks me to flip over......a bit confused...I do. He sees lots of spots on one butt cheek also and shouts 'AHA!'. Then he gives me good news and bad news. The good news is I didn't have an STD....I had shingles.
Shingles is Chicken Pox's revenge. When your immune system is at it's weakest chicken pox can come back BUT it will only attack one specific part of your body and not the whole body. It might choose a leg, an arm, the neck.
Mine chose the old fella which shared a blood vessel or node with a butt cheek. I had all the usual tests STD tests as I was there anyway and came away negative
I feel for anyone who fears they have an STD, it's not a nice feeling.
I once came out with spots and blisters all over the fella.
It was a Friday when it started so I couldn't go to the clinic. I had a whole weekend of nerves, lack of sleep and anxiety. I couldn't sit still - couldn't play a game on the PC, or watch a movie. Concentration was zero. I spent the whole time thinking of everyone i'd slept with in the last 6 months, reading symptoms on the internet and trying to draw conclusions. I felt my life was over....
So come Monday I take myself to the clinic (which conveniently was a few minutes walk from my work).
The lady asks me the usual questions, pressed a few key areas near my hips, hmmmmed and haaaaed but seems stumped. She called in another doctor who also had no idea.
At this point I started to get really worried.
So they asked me to wait a while they fetched the head honcho. There are two hospitals near this clinic and he was there by chance. A real big wig on STD's. Le Grande Fromage. So he arrived with a colleague and by this time I have four doctors staring at my junk and it's getting to the stage where the receptionist is thinking of arranging some tea and cakes for the gathering.
The head honcho asks me to flip over......a bit confused...I do. He sees lots of spots on one butt cheek also and shouts 'AHA!'. Then he gives me good news and bad news. The good news is I didn't have an STD....I had shingles.
Shingles is Chicken Pox's revenge. When your immune system is at it's weakest chicken pox can come back BUT it will only attack one specific part of your body and not the whole body. It might choose a leg, an arm, the neck.
Mine chose the old fella which shared a blood vessel or node with a butt cheek. I had all the usual tests STD tests as I was there anyway and came away negative
I feel for anyone who fears they have an STD, it's not a nice feeling.
Go roughly every 3 months. dean street express in soho results in 6 hours or less
I think I can see that place out of my office window. Does it cost money? I have never had a check up so maybe should.
About 20 years ago I got crabs off what I can only think was a mattress, I certainly had'nt had sex for several weeks or indeed any physical contact. Living in a small village I ended up buying the "ointment" from the local chemist and being served by one of my best mates mum!. I didn't bother trying to hide it after than and just told everyone in the pub so they could lol at me. Hardy little buggers though, they survived several doses and in the end I had to simply bic myself lol . Gutted I didn't even get any of the fun stuff in exchange 
. Gutted I didn't even get any of the fun stuff in exchange 
Associate
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- 3 Feb 2012
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- Bath
Worst (in fact only) thing I've ever had was trichomoniasis.
Didn't have a clue myself, but the missus was a bit, errm, shall we say that the bouquet was fruitier on the nose than usual, so she took herself for a good swabbing.
Came out with two packs of pills- one each. No need for the steel umbrella thankfully.
Didn't have a clue myself, but the missus was a bit, errm, shall we say that the bouquet was fruitier on the nose than usual, so she took herself for a good swabbing.
Came out with two packs of pills- one each. No need for the steel umbrella thankfully.
You know you can just give the clinic the phone numbers and they'll do it for you without naming names yes?
(please note this is because I work with teenagers, so know this sort of thing
)Yes I went regularly if it was between relationships, and also if I was *ahem* having a bit of fun whilst single.
Not been for years now, mainly cos i've not had sex since flipping ages ago.
You know you can just give the clinic the phone numbers and they'll do it for you without naming names yes?
(please note this is because I work with teenagers, so know this sort of thing
Yes I went regularly if it was between relationships, and also if I was *ahem* having a bit of fun whilst single.
Not been for years now, mainly cos i've not had sex since flipping ages ago.
Yeah they offered the generic postcards, but it's fine for me, I live in such an inbred Cornish community the local village grapevine took care of everything! All I actually had to do was speak with one person and within ten mins the 500 odd women I was supposed to call; knew.
might be slightly inflating that number
Still not talking to me though
<3 but I love you long time.
Yeah they offered the generic postcards, but it's fine for me, I live in such an inbred Cornish community the local village grapevine took care of everything! All I actually had to do was speak with one person and within ten mins the 500 odd women I was supposed to call; knew.
might be slightly inflating that number
>500 women
OR
>1 Jono
ahh come on, you did suggest as much - saying it's the nature of the game and to play on player. you can't get all indignant when someone comes to the wrong conclusion.
B@