Getting older and loosing patience with people - need advice

Combat squirrel

Combat squirrel

Combat squirrel

Soldato
Joined
7 Aug 2004
Posts
11,237
Hey all, I've got to ask, does getting older involve your patience wearing thinner with people? I'm so annoyed right now, mostly with really really really really really stupid people. Younger people as well. Due to whatever circumstance I work full time and currently live with 2 students in their early 20's (21 and 22). I've lived with about 15 sets of students, and to be fair, these are pretty nice people, well behaved, tidy, clean up after themselves, and generally ok. But despite that, lately, there mere presence is annoying me, and some of the stuff they occasionally come out with just makes me *facepalm*.

I'm also getting annoyed with the fact, they ask me something, (im only 29 but have a few years on them), and I give them an answer based on logic, information, facts and reasoning, then they will instantly jibe back with some daft comment, all in the hope that sitting on the fence (with nearly everything) makes them appear more intelligent and understanding, even flying in the face of actual real life evidence - based on the assumption that being 'diplomatic' is the best way to go ?!

Anyways some idiot friend of theirs was a right **** to me, and iv told him do one (im doing this a lot nowadays, refuse to waste my time with idiots so I instantly cut them out), they find this out and start yappin about he's still there friend etc etc and can come round when he wants, I've said it's not gonna happen - simple as that, I own the house, they rent from me. Yet it's now turned into a 'thing', if he turns up, ill simply drag him out the house myself - they yap on about just 'ignoring' him, yeah fine, but he's a **** so why should I put up with it in my own home ? - fed up of continuing to tolerate idiots in the world, why should people have to ?

ANYWAYS to conclude with a dilemma, they asked ages ago if they could continue living here next year, I said yeah (before things went downhill), but now im seriously thinking it's the time in my life to start living on my own, I'd like to have 2 spare rooms and the house truly to myself, even though it will cost abit more to live.

However its now nearly April (people at uni usually start looking for places to live during Jan/Feb) and they have not signed anything yet to say there contractually going to live here next year......... now what do I do ? Be an absolute git and kick them out this year, and leave them to fend for themselves (prob in a nasty house), or honour the agreement and allow them to sign and put up with them for another year even though it will probably drive me up the wall.

Ironically, im on the fence, one part of me says I never hear off people who have left the house previously, bar one or 2 of them, so sod them, life is hard (they pay below rate rent as well for a VERY nice house).........or try and bite my tongue and put up with the new age idiots for a year longer?
 
Combat squirrel said:
Hey all, I've got to ask, does getting older involve your patience wearing thinner with people? I'm so annoyed right now, mostly with really really really really really stupid people. Younger people as well. Due to whatever circumstance I work full time and currently live with 2 students in their early 20's (21 and 22). I've lived with about 15 sets of students, and to be fair, these are pretty nice people, well behaved, tidy, clean up after themselves, and generally ok. But despite that, lately, there mere presence is annoying me, and some of the stuff they occasionally come out with just makes me *facepalm*.

I'm also getting annoyed with the fact, they ask me something, (im only 29 but have a few years on them), and I give them an answer based on logic, information, facts and reasoning, then they will instantly jibe back with some daft comment, all in the hope that sitting on the fence (with nearly everything) makes them appear more intelligent and understanding, even flying in the face of actual real life evidence - based on the assumption that being 'diplomatic' is the best way to go ?!

Anyways some idiot friend of theirs was a right **** to me, and iv told him do one (im doing this a lot nowadays, refuse to waste my time with idiots so I instantly cut them out), they find this out and start yappin about he's still there friend etc etc and can come round when he wants, I've said it's not gonna happen - simple as that, I own the house, they rent from me. Yet it's now turned into a 'thing', if he turns up, ill simply drag him out the house myself - they yap on about just 'ignoring' him, yeah fine, but he's a **** so why should I put up with it in my own home ? - fed up of continuing to tolerate idiots in the world, why should people have to ?

ANYWAYS to conclude with a dilemma, they asked ages ago if they could continue living here next year, I said yeah (before things went downhill), but now im seriously thinking it's the time in my life to start living on my own, I'd like to have 2 spare rooms and the house truly to myself, even though it will cost abit more to live.

However its now nearly April (people at uni usually start looking for places to live during Jan/Feb) and they have not signed anything yet to say there contractually going to live here next year......... now what do I do ? Be an absolute git and kick them out this year, and leave them to fend for themselves (prob in a nasty house), or honour the agreement and allow them to sign and put up with them for another year even though it will probably drive me up the wall.

Ironically, im on the fence, one part of me says I never hear off people who have left the house previously, bar one or 2 of them, so sod them, life is hard (they pay below rate rent as well for a VERY nice house).........or try and bite my tongue and put up with the new age idiots for a year longer?
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Yes and no, just depends, I used to get pretty annoyed when i was younger with all ranges of people, but I can't personally now imagine the stress of living with 20,21 year olds, would be too much for me. I think i am getting more regimented as i get older, grumpy old man syndrome, not that i'm that old mind!.
 
rz30 said:
Yes and no, just depends, I used to get pretty annoyed when i was younger with all ranges of people, but I can't personally now imagine the stress of living with 20,21 year olds, would be too much for me. I think i am getting more regimented as i get older, grumpy old man syndrome, not that i'm that old mind!.
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Thanks for the perspective, how old are you if you dont mind me asking?

Also if people could post there age in there response :)
 
Im 39 and im much more patient than i was when i was in my 20-30's...for me getting older has made me a lot more patient...of course there are times when i do lose my patience but its very rare that i do.
 
I can understand the frustration, younger people are younger after all but IMO you're being a bit of a tool of a live-in landlord, the students are paying rent to you not lodging for free. As soon as you decided to open your house up to paying tenants it is no longer simply 'your' home and it sounds like you need to either get your head around that or decide that you want it to return to being 'your' home.

It sounds like you're done with living with students (unsurprisingly) and you're hardly kicking them out especially if you are reasonable about it and leave it until the summer after any exams etc.

After all there's probably a post on a forum somewhere saying "My live-in landlord is a *&^% - won't let us have a friend around" :D
 
I think as you age lose a bit of patience then have kids and realise there is no way you will cope if you do not regain it back in abundance.
 
I can sympathise to some extent - I was in a flat share a year ago, was such a good deal that I'd been there about 5-6 years... though as some of the other original flatmates left I'd end up with much younger replacements... ended up with me turning 30 and living with girls aged 22-23... which sounds like fun but in reality, though my flatmates were nice etc.., I wasn't really up for living like a student anymore or finding people camped on the living room sofa at weekends...
I ended up deciding it was time for me to move on and buy my own flat.. living with flatmates is great in your 20s but when you hit 30, have a serious job etc... the stuff you might used to have done when you were in your early 20s is suddenly annoying.
 
Live in landlords are bigger scum than the students paying their rent, sorry op.

If they've paid their rent they can have any company they want to visit. Its not entirely your house, it belongs to everyone that's paying rent towards it.
 
Yes. I'm only 25 yet I'm a lot more impatient with idiots than 5-10 years ago. You should probably have a sit down with them to explain your position and say you're willing to allow them to stay next year provided they stick to a few reasonable ground rules. Just make sure the rules are reasonable.

It's hard to judge who is in the wrong without more specifics on indivdual situations but you're fully within your rights to ban their friend if he's a **** and make them aware that it's fine to have visitors as long as they show respect and are relatively mature within your home.
 
You complain about them being on the fence about something then you do it yourself XD

You should just weigh the pros and cons obviously taking the current situation into account.

Can you afford to live alone?
Would you be willing to not have as much spare money? (Assumption.)
Are you looking to work towards any goals in the next few years like having your girlfriend move in? (if you have one.)

Also regarding the current situation you should ask yourself whether you think of them as friends or tenants. The answer should give you an idea of whether you want to rule your own home with an iron fist or not.

Edit: 21.

Also I understand your attitude. I recently moved from Oxford to London and I've cut all ties with what few friends I had there just because they're the type who still want to live with their parents and have no prospects/goals other than to get ****ed several days a week.
 
You also have to remember that at 20,21 you are not long out of school, which can be at 18 for many. And think about it, you go to school from the age of 5 to 18, that's along time, and everyone has their own experience of school, some good, some bad. So that a pretty intense period of your live and you're going to carry that school attitude for a number of years afterwards(school is essentially a good environment in the UK) and then you are thrust out into the "world" for which really you have no idea what to expect.

So it's not so much that's your desperately different from younger people more that you've formed your own habits and met more of a variety of people etc, so you might can also take that into consideration.

In other words you have to step into the shoes of other people before you see where they are coming from.
 
Combat squirrel said:
However its now nearly April (people at uni usually start looking for places to live during Jan/Feb) and they have not signed anything yet to say there contractually going to live here next year
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I found a house to live in for my final year at uni in September, about a week before the year started. They will be fine..its April now..they have LOADS of time to find somewhere.

If you don't want to live with them just tell them tbh.
 
rz30 said:
You also have to remember that at 20,21 you are not long out of school, which can be at 18 for many. And think about it, you go to school from the age of 5 to 18, that's along time, and everyone has their own experience of school, some good, some bad. So that a pretty intense period of your live and you're going to carry that school attitude for a number of years afterwards(school is essentially a good environment in the UK) and then you are thrust out into the "world" for which really you have no idea what to expect.

So it's not so much that's your desperately different from younger people more that you've formed your own habits and met more of a variety of people etc, so you might can also take that into consideration.

In other words you have to step into the shoes of other people before you see where they are coming from.
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Kids who're in school and have just recently left have a wide variety of attitudes to life. You'll find the majority are utter idiots and have no idea of how to live with responsibilities. That's due to the terrible education system and culture here.
 
Kamwah said:
Kids who're in school and have just recently left have a wide variety of attitudes to life. You'll find the majority are utter idiots and have no idea of how to live with responsibilities. That's due to the terrible education system and culture here.
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Exactly, I did say some good some bad experiences were had. Point was though that you live in a very structured, confined world for 13 years while at school, so your going to have some kind of reaction when you leave and are given apparent freedoms.
 
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