Girl Problems (Advice Needed)

Tweek_1984 said:
So my girlfriend of 18 months called me tonight and told me that she'd made out with another guy last night.

...

I don't know what to think or do. I need some advice people.
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We need more information. Why did she tell you? Was she sorry?
 
Made out ? What's that then, kissing or riding ?

Personally Loyalty is number one in my book and Any infidelity gets them kicked to the kerb. Considering moving to another country to be with a cheat is madness. Tell her we expect more from our women and give her the sack.
 
Clearly this girl feels bad about what she has done being as she told you. That takes some guts to come clean like that when she could have kept it quiet no problem.

I understand your trust has been broken, this can be repaired though. I would talk to her as soon as you can, do not get angry with her as this is not going to help at all. Don't question her about the situation as she probably does not want to talk about it and you really don't want to know yourself.

You still have a little trust there with her as she has come clean, that has to count for something right. Find out if she still loves you, I am sure she does. I know you still love her.

I would give this one another go mate, simply for the fact she has come clean. If I had found out from someone else it would be game over.

TrUz
 
Coming from a guy in a slightly similar situation to her I would say that it sounds like she made a mistake and knows it.

I would say it now all lies with her based on how hard she is willing to fight to keep you.

I'm not saying you should take advantage of the situation, just that if she's doing things to keep then that says more than just tellling you about what she did and expecting you to make the next move.
 
If you mean that much to her, she wouldn't have done it, so what if she has called you and said about it? You cant trust her, so end it. As hard as it will be, i know if i was in the same situation it would break my heart, but just end it. Women think they can do what they want, expect you to be faithful but then go out and cheat. Dump her.
 
malc30 said:
Made out ? What's that then, kissing or riding ?
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If it is sex then you should probably get rid regardless of anything else. Otherwise you'll spend every moment you are away from her wondering if she is up to something.

If she loved you she would have been able to wait the few months till you are back out there instead of jumping into the sack to make herself feel better. For those saying that its really hard to stay faithful for such a long period apart, the OP has managed it so why can't she?
 
its hard not to get out the routine of texing/calling but i came out a year long relationship recently and obv it hurts but give it some time (2 months for me now) to be in a clearer frame of mind because at the mo u still love/like her and if u forgive her u wont know *** could be round the corner in a few months, i havnt spoke to her since we split and i dont plan too to be honest, not that im bitter just i dont think it works keeping in contact with an ex unless u ended it on good terms, ours didnt and im just moving on getting used to being single again and learning how to live my life on my own single! im 22 by the way if that makes any diff! :)
 
:( i know this may sound hard but you need time on your own to work out whats important to you and decide where you want to go from here.
No mater what any one tells you, your the one who needs to do a lot of thinking and sleeping, You will be confused right now and as much as you wont want to hear it time is a great decider/healer and you must keep going as hard as it is.
I split from an ex 2 years ago after a 6 year relationship and no matter what any one said to me it never helped and i always felt like my world had ended, but i kept going (just) and now i look back on it differently and plus im with someone else who makes me very very happy.

I feel for you mate!

take care.
 
You just got to think about it to be honest, no one here can make this decision for you. Ignore all the dump her posts, idiots! Just got to go with your gut, you think she is sorry? Did she tell you so she didn't lie? Did she tell you because she wants to break it up?

Either way it was decent of her to tell you, and if she ain't saw you in ages and is drunk. I could imagine a relationship that far away must be hard and could sometimes feel like your not in one at all.

You just half to talk to her, settle it out with her.

Good luck ;)
 
Made out means kiss. However, thats her story. In reality I'll never know exactly what happened.

When she called me she sounded sorry, she was crying and wotnot, but the fact that she decided to cheat on me would suggest otherwise. A mistake is dropping a plate on the ground, tripping over somebody's shoelaces, not consciously deciding to spend an evening with a guy and then lock lips with him.

I'm going to put the ball in her court and ask her to think about why she has done this to me. Maybe then we can resolve those issues, or maybe we'll have to leave each other.

One thing I do know, I'm not sure I'll ever be able to fully trust her again.

This is completely out of the blue really. i mean she was always the one who talked about how strong we both were for doing the whole long distance thing. When I spent christmas with her and her family, they loved me and we both had a really great time. I was due to go back over there in several weeks time. Shes a really intelligent girl aswell. So the fact that she has done this is like a great big sign above her head that she doesnt want to be with me, as far as I'm concerned.

I need time to clear my head, but like I say, I'm going to put the ball in her court and see what she is willing to do in order to salvage our relationship.

If we decide to split, I would not only lose my love, my best friend but also my future. I'm in my last year of uni and I haven't been to any career meetings, or prospective job application meetings because the plan was I'd be emigrating oer there. It's my dream to emigrate over there and she was a big link in the chain.

I'm pretty devastated right now.
 
If im honest i would let it go, it was obviously a mistake and despite you living 1000's of miles away and zero chance of you ever finding out, she still told you, that in its self says a lot :)

Everyone makes mistakes they regret, she's acknowledged this and told you about it, I have lots of friends who would have just kept it quiet.

Think carefully :)
 
If it's only a kiss then I would give her a second chance, I think you could be wasting a lot. It could have been a mistake and she did confess and sounded genuinly sorry.

If it's more then I'd rethink the future of the relationship. But from the sound of it you could be over reacting a little bit; although thats not to say that I don't understand it :)

If you trusted her to start off with, then trust that she's not done anymore, thinking about what she 'could' have done will destroy you.

Burnsy
 
You have two ways of looking at this as far as i can see. First off its key you find out why she told you. Fact is if shes that far away as other people have said there would have been no way on earth you would find out.

So the only reason she would do it is:

1) She feels guilty - respects an honest relationship and wants to have nothing over her head

2)She wants to end it - she basically kissed this bloke and has told you so that you will end it with her cos shes not strong enough

You need to find out what she wants - and if she doesnt sound 100% convincing and follow through on what she says, no more second chances. I learnt that lesson the hard way. Listen to what she says and make a choice based on that.

One thing i would say though is im a firm believer in trust in a relationship. If you dont have that then what have you got? If you really dont think you can trust her again then shes gonna have a lot of convincing work, but heres one last point. She told you whilst knowin you probably would never find out. If she is truely sorry and wants to stay with you, doesnt that regain some trust in the relationship - that she had the honesty to tell you.

Tuff call either way.

Whatever you do dont wait forever and dont be strung along. Lifes too short.

Good luck man. Follow your heart.
 
Killa_ken said:
If im honest i would let it go, it was obviously a mistake and despite you living 1000's of miles away and zero chance of you ever finding out, she still told you, that in its self says a lot :)

Everyone makes mistakes they regret, she's acknowledged this and told you about it, I have lots of friends who would have just kept it quiet.

Think carefully :)
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Ditto..
 
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