Girlfrend not wanting to drive to me anymore !

Richdog said:
However, it still does not make single mothers any less than any other women, it just objectively makes it harder for them to attract and keep a man.
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I get that some men have issues with dating a woman who has had children with another man but are you saying they have such a lower value (whatever that is) that they can't keep a man? Why is this?

I, foolishly, assume a relationship is based on common interests, sexual attraction and that mushy thing called love?
 
LordSplodge said:
I get that some men have issues with dating a woman who has had children with another man but are you saying they have such a lower value (whatever that is) that they can't keep a man? Why is this?

I, foolishly, assume a relationship is based on common interests, sexual attraction and that mushy thing called love?
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Are you incapable of reading, or are you just doing the stereotypically dim: "I'll see what I want to see" spiel?

Richdog said:
IHowever, it still does not make single mothers any less than any other women, it just objectively makes it harder for them to attract and keep a man.
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If you cannot see how being a single mother with a child that makes much demand on her time would make it objectively harder to find and keep a man (before love had a chance to spring forth and bind them), then I am afraid you must really have little common sense.
 
Richdog said:
Are you incapable of reading, or are you just doing the stereotypically dim: "I'll see what I want to see" spiel?



If you cannot see how being a single mother with a child that makes much demand on her time would make it objectively harder to find and keep a man (before love had a chance to spring forth and bind them), then I am afraid you must really have little common sense.
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Charming response. :rolleyes:
 
jasonsony735 said:
A lot of you are saying I'm a loser because I don't wish to buy a car Ha Ha , its not that I can't be bothered , I just don't want to be like the other 70% of the uk population who likes wasting £300 + a month on car loans and finance , My credit history is perfect and I don't have any debt at all and I'm happy with that & I cycle to work everyday :) , So I'm healthy and debt free yeehhhhaa :P.
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I cycle regularly and I own a car. I don't have it on finance. It costs me tax and insurance then servicing, all of which is minimal and usually one off annual payments. I travel all over the country with it, therefore I'm not in debt with it and I'm healthy.

Your opinions on cars whilst is valid in some cases, is very warped in others :p

If you want the relationship to work you need it to be willing to be both ways. As does she. It's really as simple as that. One person being the driver when the other can but refuses to due to a blinded opinion is a bit unfair imo. If you liked her enough to make it want to continue, you would at least consider it and research it more.

Actually, thinking about it. Owning a car is a commitment, as will this relationship be if it carries on and becomes long term, maybe thats your deep underlying issue? :p
 
LordSplodge said:
I, foolishly, assume a relationship is based on common interests, sexual attraction and that mushy thing called love?
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Should be that way but it isn't really is it. It has to work for both parties. Being in a serious relationship with someone who has children when you don't means they're your priority but you're rarely theirs.

I've always steered clear of relationships with single mothers but regardless of that, OP's bird sounds like hassle. Bin her.
 
Richdog said:
If you cannot see how being a single mother with a child that makes much demand on her time would make it objectively harder to find and keep a man (before love had a chance to spring forth and bind them), then I am afraid you must really have little common sense.
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Or perhaps he just isn't a selfish ****** and he understands what's actually important in life? Just a thought.
 
George Hincapie said:
No it doesn't.
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In fairness, it does.

Some lads won't date single mums. Some lads will date single mums but aren't really fussed on the kids. A single mum can suss whether someone is going to be good for their child very quickly so it becomes the choice of finding someone that will be fussed with the kids or sticking to the one that does show attention to her but not the kids out of fear of being alone - depends which one is the dominant driver.

Also, being a single parent reduces your ability to go out and find a partner if that is the wish.

Don't see the point of the OP story tbh. If you enjoy being with her and her children, make the effort go buy a cheap runabout and get out there. If you're not that fussed or her demands are exactly that - not something said off the cuff if you're arguing - then bin her.
 
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George Hincapie said:
No it doesn't.
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The white knights on here are absolutely hilarious. How on Earth can you say that a lot of Men wouldn't want to take on someone else's kid when they could get a Woman who doesn't have that burden? If you could choose to be with same Woman but get the choice of her having a kid from another bloke or her not having a kid, every single time you'd choose the Woman who doesn't already have a kid. It's common sense.
 
jasonsony735 said:
A lot of you are saying I'm a loser because I don't wish to buy a car Ha Ha , its not that I can't be bothered , I just don't want to be like the other 70% of the uk population who likes wasting £300 + a month on car loans and finance , My credit history is perfect and I don't have any debt at all and I'm happy with that & I cycle to work everyday :) , So I'm healthy and debt free yeehhhhaa :P.
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Yet it is fine for your girlfriend to own a car and drive you around everywhere?

It's not only fuel costs, but driving people around everywhere can just become tiring, so if you don't understand that, cycle to her or get the bus.

Or end it.
 
The discussion has led down to a debate about how viable a woman is due to her already having children. I don't understand why. The issue at hand is the way some men look down on women for having kids, as if it's some kind of handle they can use against them. The answer to this, if it's an issue to anyone, is don't date women with children (but perhaps most importantly, stop being a jerk).

Secondly, and as already pointed out, relationships are two way. If she's driving everywhere and she isn't happy about that, the compromise isn't to just throw money at her for her fuel. She isn't your bitch. Man up FFS, or find a different partner, perhaps one you can walk to.
 
Roar87 said:
The white knights on here are absolutely hilarious.
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Are you saying if you choose to have a relationship with a girl with kids that makes you a white knight?

It's more to do with what drives you to be with someone. If they are a single mum and lurch from one crisis to the next and you have this need to fix them - even though they never will - then that's my understanding of white knight - or broken bird syndrome.

Not all single mums need saving. Some are perfectly capable of managing without a man in their lives. In that situation a so called white knight probably won't stick to the relationship as there's nothing to fix.

It's clearly easier to have a relationship without children being involved but life just isn't like that. Seems a shame to disregard every single mum.
 
George Hincapie said:
I absolutely agree with you. If the idea of dating someone with children puts the male off then he doesn't sound very mature to me. Also, don't shoplift the pooty.
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No excess baggage for me thanks. If that doesn't make me very mature, so be it, but would never even think about dating a woman with kids, if I don't even know if I want them myself, so I certainly wouldn't want to look after someone else's.
 
Whilst I am certain there are many loving single parents out there, their main priority is never going to be you so your relationship is always going to have an imbalance. Their priority is always going to be their child (and quite rightly). Obviously if you later have children together, that dynamic may change but in initial relationship terms, you are always going to be 2nd best and many people just won't accept that.

If a person is happy to accept a relationship that works in that way, more power to them. I don't think it would suit me, though.

I suppose, at the end of the day, it is down to the individuals concerned.
 
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