God and SQL

God, using SQL, or Basic, or C, or Java? I don't think so. Writing ASCII programs is where it's at... :)

Code: 
X5O!P%@AP[4\PZX54(P^)7CC)7}$  Hello World. Having a nice day?  $H+H*
If you have a 32-bit version of Windows handy, you can even try this yourself. Copy the line above into notepad and save it as helloworld.com (should end up as 68 or 70 bytes if you've done it right), then scan it with your Antivirus software (which you do have, right - I take no responsibility for broken systems), and finally, run it. :)

PS - for the tech savvy, you may notice this has more than a passing similarity to the Eicar Antivirus test file (from which it was derived), but hopefully neutered enough that no Antivirus software will barf at it.
 
Code: 
begin

	create table #chavs
		(
		chav_id 	 numeric(10) primary key,
		chav_idiocy	decimal(10,2)
		)

	insert into
		#chavs
	select 
		*
	from 
		world..t1chav

drop table #chavs

commit transaction
return 0

For added effect :D
 
crystaline said:
Personally I find it quite hilarious that people are trying to outdo each other on something I scrawled in 1 minute as a joke on Hello World. I mean, actually getting compilers out! :p
Click to expand...
All in the name of fun!

Oh god :(
 
JollyGreen said:
DELETE FROM HumanRace WHERE HumanType = 'Chav'

103,452,382 rows affected
Click to expand...

Or for the scottish edt of SQL


DELETE FROM HumanRace WHERE HumanType = 'Ned'

452,382 rows affected
 
crystaline said:
Personally I find it quite hilarious that people are trying to outdo each other on something I scrawled in 1 minute as a joke on Hello World. I mean, actually getting compilers out!
Click to expand...
It's a joke, personally I find it amusing how seriously people take things on these forums :)
 
Code: 
if(count_chars($candle) < 2)
{
	exit($candle);
	exit($candle);
	if(array_walk($life) == shadow && !(money_format($player) == $lots))
	{
		function strut($player, $time, $place)
		{
			$player = array_walk($player)++;
			
			while($count < $time && $PHP_SELF == $place)
			{
				echo("One Missisipi");
				echo($Player);
				$count++;
			}
		}
		function fret($player)
		{
			$player = mysql_query("SELECT * FROM Things WHERE Good = 'FALSE'");
			return $player;
		}
		strut(fret($player),3600,"Stage");
		$player = null;
		echo($player);
		
		function toldby($tell, $by)
		{
			$row = mysql_fetch_array(mysql_query("SELECT ".$tell." FROM " . $by))
			echo($row[$tell]);
		}
		
		$life = toldby("Tale","Idiot");
		
		$life = null;
		
	}
}
Translation:
Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player That struts and frets his hour upon the stage And then is heard no more. It is a tale Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, Signifying nothing.

Shakespeare in PHP :p
 
burnsy2023 said:
Code: 
main() 
{
       printf("hello, world");
}
Burnsy
Click to expand...


Its been a while since I did any C but I thought the return type of main should be int, for proper ANSI style c99 complient code. :p

Yeah gcc -
test.c:2: warning: return type of main is not int.
 
Last edited:
Una said:
Its been a while since I did any C but I thought the return type of main should be int, for proper ANSI style c99 complient code. :p

Yeah gcc -
test.c:2: warning: return type of main is not int.
Click to expand...
I believe this is where I say "FNAR!"
 
Berserker said:
God, using SQL, or Basic, or C, or Java? I don't think so. Writing ASCII programs is where it's at... :)

Code: 
X5O!P%@AP[4\PZX54(P^)7CC)7}$  Hello World. Having a nice day?  $H+H*
If you have a 32-bit version of Windows handy, you can even try this yourself. Copy the line above into notepad and save it as helloworld.com (should end up as 68 or 70 bytes if you've done it right), then scan it with your Antivirus software (which you do have, right - I take no responsibility for broken systems), and finally, run it. :)

PS - for the tech savvy, you may notice this has more than a passing similarity to the Eicar Antivirus test file (from which it was derived), but hopefully neutered enough that no Antivirus software will barf at it.
Click to expand...

Gave me a warning in AVG
 
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