Going T Total : Any advice please

[Catanonia]

Serious thread.

As much as I understand GD, the time is not right now and I will report all troll posts to the mods.

My wife and I are wanting to go T Total and we would like some advice / encouragement. This is one option as well as professional help / AA we are both willing to take.


We like a drink, quite a bit and more than is healthy and boarding on the destroying. We like wine / beer etc and let us put it this way, too much and it has to stop before it destroys us. We love each other so much, but this devil is always there and will destroy us. It is the only thing that we must defeat before it wins and destroys us.

We think we can't stop the social aspect completely and become hermits, not that that would help with the bottles of home wine, so some advice please would be greatly appreciated.


What types of non alcoholic beers are available in pubs / wine bars / restaurants and how frequent are they available in pubs (yup we have no idea) ?

Is there such a thing as non alcoholic wine and is it freely available in shops ? Naïve question sure, but we just don't know and we like wine at home.


Would anyone like to share their experiences or via PM ?

We are going to in role in AA, not that we consider ourselves AA, but we must be otherwise why would we be asking this ?

Many thanks for any help / support you can give us.


As much as I understand GD, the time is not right now and I will report all troll posts to the mods.


Thank you.

A and S

 

[Catanonia]

Most places serve bottled Becks Blue from what I've seen, which isn't too bad tasting for an alcohol free beer. Never seen an alcohol free "tap" though, so finding "pints" might be tough.

Never seen it, but never looked or asked. Many thanks and will certainly look out for it.

Edit : Also on the wine, will enquire more on this.

 

[Catanonia]

Also look for a beer called Nanny State which is 0.5%.

Thanks we will.

We have a large collection of wines at home that we are going to box and take to the local A&E (recently been very good to us) and donate to the staff to thank them for all their selfless work. We will beat this.

 

[Catanonia]

How much is a lot, out of curiosity? I probably drink most days.

2 bottles wine between us, 4 - 6 cans each on 5 nights a week at home. If we go out, we can't work out when to stop. Doesn't help we don't like food either and a lot of the time we are on empty stomachs.

Complicated, hence why we need help professionally as well.

Not nice.

 

[Catanonia]

OP, if you want some encouragement, then have a read through this thread.

thank you.

 

[Catanonia]

That's not Teetotal though.

OP:

W're in the same boat. We LOVE drinking and drink way too much but we never let it affect our lives. My wife and I both come from families which have massive holes and rifts in them due to alcohol so we know first hand what the risks are. If you come from a family which doesn't drink I suspect it's even more dangerous as you don't know first hand how far the rabbit hole can go, and trust me when I tell you this: It goes deep and it goes dark. At the end of that hole is broken relationships, illnesses, cancer, addiction, illegal substances and death. I have seen all of these.

If you really want to stop then go to a doctor and get some Disulfiram, it will make you sick as a dog if you drink, you just take one tablet a day and the rest is willpower.

Good luck to both of you, if you ever need a chat or a bit of support feel free to trust me

I think I know why my mum and dad are t total now. Never realised it until now. seriously. (I don't see them that often or speak much)

Good advice and thank you for the offer. I will remember it and may take you up on it.

Thanks you.

 

[Catanonia]

Just swap to lemonade or Diet Coke, don't even touch the non alcoholic substitute, just go cold turkey. One day at a time, one weekend at a time. One New Year's Eve at a time, don't give yourself excuses like "it's my birthday!" Just take it slowly and try not to fall off the wagon.

We have tried and failed many times. The usual no drink school night. We have stressful jobs which doesn't help plus we hate the taste of it after many times of trying. Doesn't help pubs charge the earth for it.

 

[Catanonia]

Personally I'd say avoid all the low/non alcoholic drinks that are supposed to look/taste like what you are trying to cut out - at least in the short term. Its gonna be hard but you have two choices

completely quit on a certain day or a month or so of weaning yourself off to smaller amounts until you can stop.

GL

exactly our problem, we have tried all sorts. Maybe the professionals can help us more.

 

[Catanonia]

How can someone not like food.

Strange I know, but I can go days without eating and many times we look at each other and say we can't be bothered with eating.
Maybe this the professionals can help with too.

So much we I have talked about selling up, moving to somewhere remote like the Shetlands and living off the land and being with each other instead of playing the rat race.

 

[Catanonia]

I hope this doesn't get locked as although it's bordering on a medical thread, there will be some solid info here for people seeking self help, keep that in mind please mods

thanks, this isn't a medical thread. I have stated we are seeking professional help. This is a thread asking about none alcoholic drinks and advice from those who may have been through this process.

Thank you though and thank you to everyone on the thread for not GD'ing it and taking it as serious as it was intended.
Thanks to the mods too, noticed already I have not had to report a thread.

 

[Catanonia]

Elliott being a spacker again I see


Just ignore him, he's erm... how do I say this politely... special.

Mods dealt with him already. Thank you DJester

 

[Catanonia]

It seems like you guys have made a decision to quit so the only thing stopping you is will power. Therefore do not give yourself excuses, it's Christmas! It's New Years Eve! Our friends are drinking!

You guys are adults, don't give into peer pressure, you have made a commitment to quit so just do it. Once you get a run going it'll make it easier, the first step is the hardest but you have to take it and only you can take it.

I'm not tea total but I've not had a drink since February, and not been tipsy/drunk for about 2 and a half years.

thanks you. The reason I ask about non alcoholic drinks is because I have switched to E-Cigs for 2 years with good effect. We like to drink at home, probably deal with that, but it is the going out together that is the problem when it always causes issues. We go out alone together, sometime meet up with others, peer pressure or weak will. and when we end up home is when the problems happen.

Thank you.

 

[Catanonia]

You're going to drink a max of one or two pints of the stuff a night, which means unless you go out 5 times a week is not going to be a major issue. You're certainly not going to be matching pints with people, there is just no way you can drink that much.

Thanks.

Coke and Lemo make me wanna puke, rather have cordial and that is bad enough. Will power is what we need, we know.

Is there any other places / help we can try (free or paid) other than AA ?

 

[Catanonia]

Don't drink myself or my girlfriend but I think maybe changing your social situation a bit more would help. Go to the gym or a running club or any other hobby that could eat up your time. A cooking class might be good, could help with your eating problem. When I first met my girlfriend she would forget to eat, sometimes for about 3-4 days. Since being with me she has got a lot better, so I guess lean on each other for support.

thanks, many replies and this one hit the most. But thank you all.

 

[Catanonia]

BTW : Wanna work for Lego, Channel 4 right now.

 

[Catanonia]

advice

Thank you, thought provoking. Keep it up and I / we hope to be as strong as you.

 

[Catanonia]

Make sure you drive to places and share the driving as you won't drink and drive?

If I drive, I don't drink, simple as that. As I'm single that is everywhere so I rarely drink.... and go months without drinking.

Or I leave my bankcards at home etc and just take an amount of money for drinks - soft rinks = lot less than beer/spirits etc.

Not much help, just a few pointers to maybe make it easier as a lifestyle?

bloody good advice though. Drive out to socialise, that I will not break is drinking and driving. Done it once and was so close to totally destroying my life, but was just under the limit many years ago, Scared the **** out of me. (intentional swear)

 

[Catanonia]

Your in a really good position that your wife wants to stop with you, that's half the battle for me.

Been there and this Christmas was the final straw. Thank you for the support, and good luck to you, it is not nice.

 

[Catanonia]

Search for a book called "the easy way to control alcohol" by Allen Carr. Buy a copy, or two if your missus wants to read at same time. I guarantee it will help you, good luck.

Did the cig book, didn't realise he had a booze one. Thanks +1

 

[Catanonia]

Just be careful with this if you want a permanent solution. I know that for me personally if I followed the driving option mentioned here, it would have taken about 20mins for me to decide to leave the car and have (several) pints, or if I really couldn't do that I'd have left after 30mims feeling miserable, and left the car next time I went out. To me things like this make good excuses to avoid difficult conversations, but aren't tools to prevent you from drinking. I believe to stay sober, and not just remain alcohol free, which is what it sounds like you want in the op, you need to deal with the causes.

Thank you for your earlier thanks, I'm not special, and if I can do it so can anyone. If they want it.

Edit re-reading : We want to sort this, thank you.