Going T Total : Any advice please

[tom_nieto]

When I've given up booze before (lent was the last time), I don't even try to substitute with non alcoholic replicas. Non alcoholic beer doesn't really taste good and I much prefer to have a proper soft drink instead.

Good luck with it. You've made a very good decision to stop. It's a hard road to go down but it'll be worth it if it's affecting your life and relationships at the moment.

 

[murah]

best advice is just to do it, buy some non alcoholic beers and wines (some are actually alright!) and get on down to it, don't go out for a while till you feel you can be responsible and maybe if you don't go T-total right away consider actually eating so you're not drinking on an empty tummy.

 

[Spook187]

Strange I know, but I can go days without eating and many times we look at each other and say we can't be bothered with eating.
Maybe this the professionals can help with too.

So much we I have talked about selling up, moving to somewhere remote like the Shetlands and living off the land and being with each other instead of playing the rat race.

Big problem not eating, get yourself a takeaway ordered right now

You sure? I've seen your photography



//Just kidding of course

lol one way to turn a man to drink is seeing Raymonds wedding pics.

 

[Catanonia]

Don't drink myself or my girlfriend but I think maybe changing your social situation a bit more would help. Go to the gym or a running club or any other hobby that could eat up your time. A cooking class might be good, could help with your eating problem. When I first met my girlfriend she would forget to eat, sometimes for about 3-4 days. Since being with me she has got a lot better, so I guess lean on each other for support.

thanks, many replies and this one hit the most. But thank you all.

 

[Catanonia]

BTW : Wanna work for Lego, Channel 4 right now.

 

[phonemonkey]

I'm very new in my sobriety (about 3months) and I can honestly say I wouldn't be sober without AA. The inspiration and example (both good and bad) in the rooms reaffirms my desire to stay sober, offers me a safe space to seek advice on staying sober, a sounding board when I'm struggling and provides an alternative 'use' of my time when I need a distraction. The people I've met have bent over backwards to help me help myself.

I was very sceptical when I went to my first meeting, particularly about the spiritual stuff, but AA is not a church, does not believe in a unified single God. It is a spiritual programme for you to consider and understand in your own way not a religious doctrine you must unquestioningly accept.

As for the questions you ask, I'm currently avoiding 'wet' places and people, but my understanding of wet places is embedded in intent. I wouldn't go to the pub for a drink, even if I intended to stay sober, but I would go to the same pub if I was going for a meal. I meet friends Who drink, but not drinking friends. For this reasoning, I personally avoid non alcoholic beers and ciders for similar reasons. For me to give up the booze took an acceptance I couldn't drink any more, and if I drunk non alcoholic beers, if I'm being honest, it would be as an attempt to hold onto something that was harmful in a hope I can return to it one day which is futile and dangerous to my sobriety.

I was also worried about my social life changing and becoming 'boring'. In reality though pretty much all my social life involved was sitting around getting drunk, which wasn't actually fun or interesting (for me anyway). I'm still discovering who I am and what I enjoy with the time I've now got, but even the exploring is fun (sometimes anyway). I'm better focused and more reliable in the hobbies I did kinda manage to keep going through my drinking and am starting to improve at them so actually my life hasn't felt boring, though of course I'm bored at times.

I hope this makes sense, it's the dark end of a long day. My email is in trust if I can help at all.

 

[Catanonia]

advice

Thank you, thought provoking. Keep it up and I / we hope to be as strong as you.

 

[helpimcrap]

Make sure you drive to places and share the driving as you won't drink and drive?

If I drive, I don't drink, simple as that. As I'm single that is everywhere so I rarely drink.... and go months without drinking.

Or I leave my bankcards at home etc and just take an amount of money for drinks - soft rinks = lot less than beer/spirits etc.

Not much help, just a few pointers to maybe make it easier as a lifestyle?

 

[Catanonia]

Make sure you drive to places and share the driving as you won't drink and drive?

If I drive, I don't drink, simple as that. As I'm single that is everywhere so I rarely drink.... and go months without drinking.

Or I leave my bankcards at home etc and just take an amount of money for drinks - soft rinks = lot less than beer/spirits etc.

Not much help, just a few pointers to maybe make it easier as a lifestyle?

bloody good advice though. Drive out to socialise, that I will not break is drinking and driving. Done it once and was so close to totally destroying my life, but was just under the limit many years ago, Scared the **** out of me. (intentional swear)

 

[Lokai]

Your in a really good position that your wife wants to stop with you, that's half the battle for me.

 

[cadmunkey]

Search for a book called "the easy way to control alcohol" by Allen Carr. Buy a copy, or two if your missus wants to read at same time. I guarantee it will help you, good luck.

 

[Catanonia]

Your in a really good position that your wife wants to stop with you, that's half the battle for me.

Been there and this Christmas was the final straw. Thank you for the support, and good luck to you, it is not nice.

 

[phonemonkey]

Make sure you drive to places and share the driving as you won't drink and drive?

If I drive, I don't drink, simple as that. As I'm single that is everywhere so I rarely drink.... and go months without drinking.

Or I leave my bankcards at home etc and just take an amount of money for drinks - soft rinks = lot less than beer/spirits etc.

Not much help, just a few pointers to maybe make it easier as a lifestyle?

Just be careful with this if you want a permanent solution. I know that for me personally if I followed the driving option mentioned here, it would have taken about 20mins for me to decide to leave the car and have (several) pints, or if I really couldn't do that I'd have left after 30mims feeling miserable, and left the car next time I went out. To me things like this make good excuses to avoid difficult conversations, but aren't tools to prevent you from drinking. I believe to stay sober, and not just remain alcohol free, which is what it sounds like you want in the op, you need to deal with the causes.

Thank you for your earlier thanks, I'm not special, and if I can do it so can anyone. If they want it.

 

[Catanonia]

Search for a book called "the easy way to control alcohol" by Allen Carr. Buy a copy, or two if your missus wants to read at same time. I guarantee it will help you, good luck.

Did the cig book, didn't realise he had a booze one. Thanks +1

 

[Catanonia]

Just be careful with this if you want a permanent solution. I know that for me personally if I followed the driving option mentioned here, it would have taken about 20mins for me to decide to leave the car and have (several) pints, or if I really couldn't do that I'd have left after 30mims feeling miserable, and left the car next time I went out. To me things like this make good excuses to avoid difficult conversations, but aren't tools to prevent you from drinking. I believe to stay sober, and not just remain alcohol free, which is what it sounds like you want in the op, you need to deal with the causes.

Thank you for your earlier thanks, I'm not special, and if I can do it so can anyone. If they want it.

Edit re-reading : We want to sort this, thank you.

 

[Catanonia]

It seems like you guys have made a decision to quit so the only thing stopping you is will power. Therefore do not give yourself excuses, it's Christmas! It's New Years Eve! Our friends are drinking!

You guys are adults, don't give into peer pressure, you have made a commitment to quit so just do it. Once you get a run going it'll make it easier, the first step is the hardest but you have to take it and only you can take it.

I'm not tea total but I've not had a drink since June, and not been tipsy/drunk for about 2 and a half years.

re-reading this thread. Inspiration. Thank you.

 

[Maccapacca]

I've been off the booze since September. I could go on about how great I feel I won't bore you.

Had a drink yesterday and I felt awful drinking, awful being drunk and awful today. Alcoholic drinks are an aquired taste. Once you quit the occasional one isn't very nice.

I think replacing with substitutes or switching to sugary or chemically drinks won't help. I drink sparkling water with loads of lime wedges and don't avoid the pubs. Been to all my Christmas parties.

 

[Catanonia]

I've been off the booze since September. I could go on about how great I feel I won't bore you.

Had a drink yesterday and I felt awful drinking, awful being drunk and awful today. Alcoholic drinks are an aquired taste. Once you quit the occasional one isn't very nice.

I think replacing with substitutes or switching to sugary or chemically drinks won't help. I drink sparkling water with loads of lime wedges and don't avoid the pubs. Been to all my Christmas parties.

That is were we would like to be. Back to Alan Carr, cigs are disgusting and you learnt to like them, same as beer. I can guess what his booze book is like.

 

[SexyGreyFox]

I know a few alcoholics and the one thing they agree on is that it isn't the taste they crave but the being drunk so alcohol free drinks are a bit pointless for them.
Yes I know you aren't alcoholics but what you need to do is have alcohol free days to start off with. One mate who did something similar put all his beer money into a pot and ended up buying some nice new expensive toys.

 

[Catanonia]

I know a few alcoholics and the one thing they agree on is that it isn't the taste they crave but the being drunk so alcohol free drinks are a bit pointless for them.
Yes I know you aren't alcoholics but what you need to do is have alcohol free days to start off with. One mate who did something similar put all his beer money into a pot and ended up buying some nice new expensive toys.

we have tried that, money isn't the problem either. Problem is that our tolerance is lower and so we get worse when we spoil it.

Hopefully AA can help us.