Good Idea?

chris_r

chris_r

chris_r

Soldato
Joined
1 Dec 2003
Posts
2,818
Location
Liverpool
Hello,

I am really thinking about applying for a job at a few places and hopefully if i get one, putting away 50% of my wages to fun a trip for two to NYC for i and my girl, and then asking her to get engaged.

I am 18, been with her 14 months and shes 'a member of the family' now, so if it works out and say 'i got a job in 2 weeks' it would only take me a few months and the shopping spree would be on the way.

Good or bad idea?
 
Your 18 and been together just over a year. Woooh, slow down a bit. Yeah she may be your soul mate but give it time.

Took me 4 years to pop the question!!!
 
Hey,

I know what your sayin, and i know a lot say 'trust me' but yeah, trust me :)

I dont mean, engage now, then marry. I have no intentions of getting married until 24/25 at least.

Just to show my love :), my bros been engaged 10 years an aint married yet
 
see how things go, get the job nailed down first. There is never anything wrong with putting money away for savings, yeah go for it splash it on a holiday.

see how things stand and howlong you've been going out for when you've got the job and put enough money away then see if you are ready to propose.

dont rush into things.
 
Personally i'd avoid the whole getting engaged thing till you really feel ready to get married, thats the whole idea of it isn't it?

Just enjoy your time together, and show your commitment to her in other ways, you don't need a bit of metal and stone on her finger to show her how you feel about her!
 
Yep, understand that. It does feel right, course it does or i wouldn't ask her.

It feels horrible being questioned like this over my love, hehe. I don't wanna slow anything down, lifes too short for that crap.

I aint going to get married now, nor anytime soon but engaging her, it does show your love for eachother, it does mean a lot to eachother and it does feel like the next step in any good loving relationship.

As for other comments, yeah, job must come first of course. Is an idea i have in mind though, and willing to take further
 
Don't get engaged unless you want to get married.

Being engaged is saying "we're planning the wedding" - if you're not, don't. :)

Or is it the ring you're after? If either of you need a piece of jewelery to remind eachother of your love then there's a problem anyway.
 
Can't you get engaged to say "one day, we're going to get married", you don't need to exactly announce the date of the wedding when you tell people? Many people go years after getting engaged before they finally go through with it.

Saying that, 18 is a bit young to be saying "we'll be together forever".
 
chris_r said:
I dont mean, engage now, then marry. I have no intentions of getting married until 24/25 at least.
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Personally I think thats completely pointless. Engagement is, or at least was, to show your intention to get married imminently. Not in 10 years.

'Will you Marry me?'

'Of course!'

'I'll book the church for next decade love'

I think not.
 
I think you're too young to get engaged. Maybe you could make some other gesture to show your love. I'm sure there must be things other than to propose.

Putting away 50% of your wages and the trip to NYC sound like an excellent idea though. Maybe that in itself is a big enough gesture.
 
We had been together 4 years, made sure we were both financially secure and had a house before I popped the question. (we are both 24 btw)

Each to their own though, dont think theres any 'right' way of doing it.

I dont agree that getting engaged must mean you get married within a short space of time either. Its going to be at least another 3-4 years for us.
 
I know what yall are saying and i appreciate the thoughts, and yes engaging was the 'lets get married' but them days are over, and i don't care what any of you say.

I am certain people now get engaged, and married in the future. Things change and i am glad there is no 'way' of doing it apart from your own.

However, i did ask for your views and did get them so kudos on that part ight.

How many weddings these days are paid by brides parents only may i ask?
 
chris_r said:
i don't care what any of you say.
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So why ask us?

If you'd already made up your mind that a meaningless long term engagement was your plan, why ask?

Loads of my friends have done it, and all but one 'broke up' at varying times later and never actually got married. What on earth was the point. It's a fad. Either do it properly, and marry her soon after, or wait.
 
[TW]Fox said:
It's a fad.
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If they did it because they thought it was the 'in-thing' to do, then I'm not surprised they broke up.

On the flip side I know plenty of people who are in long engagements and havnt split up, infact one of my closest friends at work has been engaged to her partner for around 15 years.

They just don't see getting married as a priority (like many couples these days), but thought it would at least be nice to show some sort of togetherness.
 
For me an engagement shows an extra commitment, to follow by the final commitment of getting married. I want to get engaged before living with someone, live together, then get married and have some kids.

As for your plan Chris, its up to you, if you think she is the one for the rest of your life then do it. However personally I wouldn’t do it now with the intention of waiting 6-7 years. Maybe it would be wise to find her views on marriage. What happened if she wants to get married year after you ask her?
 
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