Good text jokes

TriedandTested · 7 Aug 2006 at 15:44

Anyone got any? I'm looking for some funnies that'll fit in to a text or 2.

Thanks.

RandomTom · 7 Aug 2006 at 15:48

What clothes does a house wear?

...Address.

TriedandTested · 7 Aug 2006 at 15:50

RandomTom said:
What clothes does a house wear?

...Address.

that's the **** right there.

keep em coming!

Mr Nice · 7 Aug 2006 at 15:56

Two birds on a perch, one says can you smell fish.

Siliconslave · 7 Aug 2006 at 15:57

two godfish in a tank, one turns to the other and says:
you get the guns and i'll drive

iCraig · 7 Aug 2006 at 15:57

Why did Susie get dehydrated?

Because somebody microwaved her face.

El Gringo · 7 Aug 2006 at 16:12

Two cannibals eating a clown, one turns to the othe and says "does this taste funny to you"?

Two muffins in an oven, one says "It's hot in here, isn't it?", the other stares at him and cries out "Oh my God! A talking muffin!".

I swear, those two have to be my all time faves...

Mr Nice · 7 Aug 2006 at 16:14

How do you get Pikachu on a bus? Pokemon

Whats blue and square? An orange in disguise

Whats ET short for? He's got little legs

TriedandTested · 7 Aug 2006 at 16:16

Brilliant. Thanks...keep em coming if you can.

da_mic_1530 · 7 Aug 2006 at 16:30

Mr Nice said:
How do you get Pikachu on a bus? Pokemon

ROFL , classic

i can see this thread being 5 star, infact im rating it right now

I'm @ the police station now been done 4 drink driving. Urine sample was positive so I nicked the sample.they r now doin me 4 taking the ****

NEWSFLASH.. Police arrested 2 kids yesterday: 1 was drinking battery acid the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the one off.

*NEWSFLASH* A woman was found dead in her home 2day! She was discoverd in her bath tub which was filled with milk & conflakes.the police suspect a cerial killer!

Jesus says to John come forth ill give you eternal life. John came fifth he won a toaster

Don't swear! FF.

CChrisca · 7 Aug 2006 at 16:32

What goes woof tick woof tick woof tick?

A watchdog

Two oranges rolling down a hill, one stops, why??
He ran out of juice

VaderDSL · 7 Aug 2006 at 16:34

"A man was found dead in his ice-cream van yesterday, covered in hundreds and thousands

... forensics concluded he topped himself."

da_mic_1530 · 7 Aug 2006 at 16:36

VaderDSL said:
"A man was found dead in his ice-cream van yesterday, covered in hundreds and thousands ... forensics concluded he topped himself."

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, breathes AHAHAHAHAH

CChrisca · 7 Aug 2006 at 16:38

What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose?

Full up!!

Stellios · 7 Aug 2006 at 16:38

VaderDSL said:
"A man was found dead in his ice-cream van yesterday, covered in hundreds and thousands ... forensics concluded he topped himself."

Im crying

TriedandTested · 7 Aug 2006 at 16:43

VaderDSL said:
"A man was found dead in his ice-cream van yesterday, covered in hundreds and thousands ... forensics concluded he topped himself."

ace. nice one.

bledd · 7 Aug 2006 at 16:44

whats about 3 foot tall, has green fur and if it fell out of a tree, it'd kill you?

a snooker table!

crunchman · 7 Aug 2006 at 16:44

Whats long and hard and makes a woman moan
An Ironing board

Why did so many black soldiers die in Vietnam...

Everytime someone yelled "Get Down!" they'd jump up and start dancing

Grrrrr · 7 Aug 2006 at 16:48

da_mic_1530 said:
Jesus says to John come forth ill give you eternal life. John came fifth he won a toaster

When i first heard that joke a few years ago i must have laughed for about 20mins straight

Van Hellseek · 7 Aug 2006 at 16:56

why did the blonde tiptoe around the medicine cabinet?

so she wouldnt wake the sleeping pills.