Grumpy old man syndrome, or do I have a point?

NVP · 6 Dec 2019 at 19:24

mrbell1984 said:
Take them down one by one see if anyone notices.

And replace with pictures of yourself...

Edit: nah do the one above

Also TTIUWP

Deleted member 77746 · 6 Dec 2019 at 19:49

or replace the photo of the same person picture by picture. Do it so nobody notices! play devil for a year lol

Angilion · 6 Dec 2019 at 20:22

It might be normal, but that doesn't stop it being narcissistic. Copies of casual photos of yourself that you've already taken anyway could be considered a gift, but when they're the only thing given for birthdays and christmas it's a bit cheap. The key point that makes it narcissism is the insistence on display, though. That means the prints are not gifts at all - they're demands for publicity. A gift is, by definition, for the benefit of the recipient. What they're doing is imposing a burden on the recipient. It's a gift only in the orginal white elephant sense, i.e. a punishment. Although I suspect it's not intended as such - I think it's probably just conforming to custom. Narcissism is currently fashionable.

Chris Wilson · 6 Dec 2019 at 20:40

This is social media for you. The wife is having her Mrs. Bucket soiree tomorrow night, a family "friend" historically spends the whole night taking digital photos on time lapse, nearly all including his inane grinning self, with a David Bailey intensity, several of which he then sends as custom Christmas cards. I promised myself last year I'd tell him to stick the device where the sun never shines. I'll let you know if I am emboldened enough to face the post party wrath from `er indoors to see this through! If I chicken out an accident with a pint of dark beer and his device will be a good second best. My sympathies. Digital cameras are a curse, an expensive trip to the developers made a photo at least thoughtful financially, if not artistically.

ANDREW GREEN · 6 Dec 2019 at 20:42

Gray2233 said:
To get to the point, I have three young (well, late teens and early 20's) nieces. For the past 3-4 years, for birthdays and Christmas, they have been giving out pictures of themselves as gifts (as the only gift to the person for either event). They do this specifically with my mother, their grandmother, but do it with other family members also. It's always a collective picture with the three of them in it. In pretty much every picture at least two of them are drinking alcohol (as in holding bottles of beer etc), in several at least one of them is clearly drunk. So it isn't even a case of them going to a photographer or making a point of having a nice photograph taken, they're literally just printouts of pictures they've taken on their phones while on a night out.

These photos are literally covering my mothers walls, she only lives in a small bungalow, they're not being requested by her as she already has a million pictures of everyone in the family anyway. When she doesn't immediately put them up one of the girls pitches a fit as though my mother is being ungrateful or doesn't love them. When I look at them, all I can think is that it's painfully narcissistic and very cheap.

I think you should put mocking captions over the top of the pictures such as 'Look at Me! Look at Me! Look at me!' and 'Present substitute' just before they come round and then watch the fireworks fly.

Chris Wilson · 6 Dec 2019 at 20:54

ANDREW GREEN said:
I think you should put mocking captions over the top of the pictures such as 'Look at Me! Look at Me! Look at me!' and 'Present substitute' just before they come round and then watch the fireworks fly.

A man after my own heart, I do admit to secreting the odd very none PC photo into an old frame `er indoors never really "sees" any more to cause a bit of a whispered disquiet from the more politically correct bores that arrive in the "holiday season" (as they are wont to describe it), I love overhearing things like "Have you seen that photo in the hall, that's appalling" A very good and mischievous idea. Go for it!

Gray2233 · 6 Dec 2019 at 21:03

Chris Wilson said:
This is social media for you. The wife is having her Mrs. Bucket soiree tomorrow night, a family "friend" historically spends the whole night taking digital photos on time lapse, nearly all including his inane grinning self, with a David Bailey intensity, several of which he then sends as custom Christmas cards. I promised myself last year I'd tell him to stick the device where the sun never shines. I'll let you know if I am emboldened enough to face the post party wrath from `er indoors to see this through! If I chicken out an accident with a pint of dark beer and his device will be a good second best. My sympathies. Digital cameras are a curse, an expensive trip to the developers made a photo at least thoughtful financially, if not artistically.

We should make a mutual (potential suicide) pact, if one does it so does the other!

It bothers me but the explosive drama that would ensue were I to try and talk to them about it, I'm not sure if I could go through with it.

Chris Wilson · 6 Dec 2019 at 21:18

I like it, I've had a few beers to numb the thought of tomorrow night, so my boldness may waver in favor of a quiet night, we'll see... There's a lot of ale in the fridge. Don't let them grind you down

johnny6 · 6 Dec 2019 at 21:21

My brother does this to my parents. Every year for Christmas gets them a picture of him, his wife and the kids.

My mother won’t say anything but it winds me right up. I mean this woman brought you up for 25 years and the best you can do is a god awful picture of your flipping wife and kids every single year.

It’s the fact that it’s given as the actual and only Christmas present that winds me up. Yes we give my parents the obligatory school photo of our kid every year but it’s not presented as some kind of present.... especially a Christmas present of all things.

And it’s not like my folks are that hard to buy for. Dad loves Lego. Providing Lego keep making new sets every year he is literally the easiest person to buy for.

b00merang69 · 6 Dec 2019 at 21:22

Send them all a photo of your Johnston for Xmas in kind.

Gray2233 · 6 Dec 2019 at 21:31

Chris Wilson said:
I like it, I've had a few beers to numb the thought of tomorrow night, so my boldness may waver in favor of a quiet night, we'll see... There's a lot of ale in the fridge. Don't let them grind you down

Got a bottle of spiced rum and some cognac hiding away, not to mention beer! No shortage of dutch courage at the least.

johnny6 said:
My brother does this to my parents. Every year for Christmas gets them a picture of him, his wife and the kids.

My mother won’t say anything but it winds me right up. I mean this woman brought you up for 25 years and the best you can do is a god awful picture of your flipping wife and kids every single year.

It’s the fact that it’s given as the actual and only Christmas present that winds me up. Yes we give my parents the obligatory school photo of our kid every year but it’s not presented as some kind of present.... especially a Christmas present of all things.

And it’s not like my folks are that hard to buy for. Dad loves Lego. Providing Lego keep making new sets every year he is literally the easiest person to buy for.

I think what you've described is what gets to me the most. The girls are all working now par the youngest, and my mother has spent a small fortune on them over the years. Still does every year, sometimes to somewhat expensive requests for Christmas or birthdays despite the fact she's a pensioner.

b00merang69 said:
Send them all a photo of your Johnston for Xmas in kind.

Errr.... no? What the..?

Thekwango · 6 Dec 2019 at 21:32

b00merang69 said:
Send them all a photo of your Johnston for Xmas in kind.

a bit weirdly incestuous do you not think?

b00merang69 · 6 Dec 2019 at 21:34

May send a msg to them to stop sending photos of themselves though.

Thekwango · 6 Dec 2019 at 21:37

b00merang69 said:
May send a msg to them to stop sending photos of themselves though.

might also send a message to the police that you need to be on some sort of 'watch' list

TNGL · 6 Dec 2019 at 21:54

Narcissists, cheapskates or both. It would definitely not sit well with me.

Kelt · 6 Dec 2019 at 22:03

TNGL said:
Narcissists, cheapskates or both. It would definitely not sit well with me.

Absolutely this.

builder22 · 6 Dec 2019 at 22:19

lol @b00merang69 behave yourself!

any 'it's the thought that counts' gifts are usually naff....random photos sound worse....but maybe they genuinely think it's fine!

johnny6 · 6 Dec 2019 at 23:29

Gray2233 said:
I think what you've described is what gets to me the most. The girls are all working now par the youngest, and my mother has spent a small fortune on them over the years. Still does every year, sometimes to somewhat expensive requests for Christmas or birthdays despite the fact she's a pensioner.

That’s exactly it. My brother works. He’s not made of money by any means but based on the amount they spend on the kids I’m sure he could spring for a nice meal out for them or something. It’s not like they have expensive tastes.

I know its all about the giving of gifts rather than receiving and so on etc etc etc but it just smacks of being a cheap skate.

Us ‘kids’ stopped buying presents for each other years ago. We now just buy for each other’s kids. Well I say we do as my brother seems to forget to do that as well. At least I (and my sister) don’t get an annual mugshot from him as well, so small blessings I suppose.

Puzzled · 6 Dec 2019 at 23:42

Just give them a photo of yourself as a Christmas gift, they'll soon realise the disappointment it causes

FoxEye · 6 Dec 2019 at 23:44

Sounds very chavvy/Facebook generation.

It's possibly one of the side-effects of our social media obsessed times. I think people who post a boatload on places like Facebook probably end up needing the validation and the "likes" they get from posting their inane, unfunny tripe.

I must admit I'm super glad we don't have "likes" here. It's just a tad crap.