Guy asks girl out at work, twitter kicks off...
- Thread starter dowie
- Start date
You have read the room so wrongly here! There’s no bitterness at all, no-one here is projecting this as if it’s their own experience, it’s a fact that she acted the way she did because she didn’t find the guy attractive for whatever reason. You think if she fancied him she’d have done what she did?
Soldato
Caporegime
The vast majority of the population find a partner despite not being perfect or even good in many of these areas. The point many of us are trying to make is that women (and men) behave very differently to the same actions and behaviour when it comes from someone they find attractive vs someone who they don't.
I've seen it god knows how many times in my younger days. A girl getting the worst chat up lines, groped and all sorts but as long as they are attracted to the dude it didn't matter. Humans are simple creatures at heart. They want to make pretty babies if they can.
No, most women wouldn't be getting moist upon receiving a proposition from a colleague over work e-mail....because it's ****ing creepy and inappropriate, and guys that are creepy and inappropriate aren't attractive, regardless of their looks.
Once you stop being a teenager and grow up, you realise quite quickly that women don't care that much about physical looks, they're attracted to all the things that you can change about yourself, like your attitude, your dress, and more practical stuff like not being a deadbeat that can't hold down a job. If you stop projecting your desperation for physical appearance onto women, you might find they like you more.
Good grief, you make it sound like the guy walked past her in the office, saw her name badge around her neck and then went back to his desk and emailed her to ask her on a date. It sounds like they'd had some interaction before, and yes maybe he was a bit premature on asking her out, but to be treated like that?
Let me give you some real world examples of my own. One job, I worked there for eight years, in those eight years, I either dated or had brief flings with six women. Four of which I asked out over email. I didn't just email them out of the blue, I'd worked with them and we'd had a laugh and a joke over a period of time and we'd be emailing back and forth just getting to know each other better. Not once did I get called creepy or inappropriate, and I wasn't reported to HR/pasted on social media/had my house burnt down by attacking hordes. One of the girls said no by the way, it wasn't a 100% success rate, but she simply replied saying her ex was back on the scene and she was going to give it a go.
The job after that, I had a relationship with one girl there, and I had flings with two others. Two of which I got together with via email (one of which asked me if I wanted to meet up via email). I was getting more into online dating at this point, so I was doing less of it at work, as I will admit when relationships at work go belly up, it can be very awkward. I actually left my first job because of it.
It's really not as bad as you're making out, I know loads of people who have done it and they're still alive to this very day believe it or not.
*edit* In the interests of a balanced argument, I'm single at the moment, and I also haven't been into an office in over two years. Go figure.
Soldato
The point your missing is how the email would be perceived.
An email out of the blue asking for a date from the fat nerdy loser who smells of urine is going to come across as creepy because she already thinks he is creepy.
The exact same email out of the blue asking for a date from the hot hunky guy who always wears well fitted suits, smells of nice aftershave and she already fancies a bit isn't going to be seen as creepy, because she doesn't think he is creepy.
Absolutely - well, to a point. Confidence without being cocky is key, it's important not to cross that line from confident to arrogant ****!
like he said she wouldn't have done it had she found him attractive, but he already really knew she didn't from the imploring nature of the message, and her, then, taking revenge by public shaming reflects on her own immaturity ... the ensemble, another nail in twitters lid, and the dopamine reward of being liked.
Soldato
I asked someone out at work just the once, she said no, fine no probs.
Soon after rumours went around the office I was some sort of skirt chaser. This was years before #Metoo thank god.
Never making that mistake again.
Soon after rumours went around the office I was some sort of skirt chaser. This was years before #Metoo thank god.
Never making that mistake again.
Soldato
Yep it works for some, two of my best mates from my old work met and became a couple via work
Caporegime
Its weird, its almost like people take things completely differently based on their personalities and preferences. Probably nothing. We should 100% come down really hard on anyone that dares to offend anyone no matter how delicate their sensibilities.
I know, it's insane the views in here. All these accusations being thrown around from our resident experts with women, but I know in the office they'd be the jealous lot about the chads banging all the hot office chicks having dared to make a move via email.
omg did HR never find out? why is your career not in tatters? I hope you didn't have sex with her in those 18 years
Permabanned
I can imagine folks in here tossing and turning wondering how to ask some girl at work out, but in mortal fear of HR, or some other Draconian authority finding out, or even worse, the proposition getting onto social media for scrutiny by the perpetually offended.
What a hellish dilemma... Anyway, looks like the Civil Servants are setting a helpful precedent and the de facto work place is now at home.
As an aside I wonder how long it will be before the office shy Civil Servants demand a name change that is not associated with servitude?
What a hellish dilemma... Anyway, looks like the Civil Servants are setting a helpful precedent and the de facto work place is now at home.
As an aside I wonder how long it will be before the office shy Civil Servants demand a name change that is not associated with servitude?
I met my wife at work and she works in HR....
I was a bit creepy and useless with approaching women as well. I could very well have been branded a predator, objectifying and been thrown on the pyre of social media.
So damn risky. Lucky to be alive.
I was a bit creepy and useless with approaching women as well. I could very well have been branded a predator, objectifying and been thrown on the pyre of social media.
So damn risky. Lucky to be alive.
Permabanned
Strange chat indeed guys, When did it become illegal to ask a pretty girl out on a date?
How many of us are seen as the guys from The big bang show?
How many of us are seen as the guys from The big bang show?
I'm more of a Moss from IT Crowd.
I made the mistake of having a relationship with someone at work once. Vowed to never make that mistake again.
His mistake was using email. Should've just spoke to her then he would've been able to pick up on the vibe if she was or wasn't interested
I made the mistake of having a relationship with someone at work once. Vowed to never make that mistake again.
His mistake was using email. Should've just spoke to her then he would've been able to pick up on the vibe if she was or wasn't interested
I think you may be giving him too much credit there..
