Guy asks girl out at work, twitter kicks off...

rare said:
If the guy looked like George Clooney it wouldn’t even be a discussion…
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True, had the guy been a good looking, confident, successful Don Draper kind of of guy most women would be flattered but the moment it someone who maybe isn't attractive in the traditional sense it's time to send an email to HR complaining about harassment.
 
The looks thing gets branded as incel nonsense because it assumes that the only difference is you're some beta male and a chad doesn't even have to try and be tactful. In reality the likes of Clooney, Pitt and Draper aren't asking out women via work email, or falling back on some kind of anxiety/loneness excuse when it's not reciprocated.

Rainmaker said:
The guy was clearly an awkward doofus, who should have engaged his brain and not randomly asked out a woman at his workplace - at least what appears to be out of the blue and over work email.
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I think that and some of the language used are the only issues here, of course you can ask out work colleagues but there's a time and a place to do it. Seemingly randomly via a workplace email isn't appropriate.
 
Rroff said:
There is a genuine issue there with professional boundaries - people generally have an expectation of not being approached/advances made of this nature through professional channels at work and in that respect she probably should have reported it so he could be made aware it isn't appropriate if he didn't already realise.

Beyond that though, those banging on about sexual harassment, etc. need to get a grip and so many wild assumptions. The context makes a huge difference here and is mostly lacking.
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Maybe she could have responded by saying she wasn't interested and it wasn't appropriate and if he persisted then she should report him. I also wonder why she stopped collaborating with him and if it was due to previous abusive behaviour, I agree we are missing that context and so can't make a proper judgement.

My question is did she go through the official channels or go straight to shaming him on Twitter.
 
mid_gen said:
Fairly reeks of it...all the 'if it was Brad Pitt she'd be swooning' comments. So much bitterness simmering under there....
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Lol really. Bitterness about what?

Simply pointing out facts. She doesn’t like him, and she’s responded heavily as such (given we don’t know any other context). If she was attracted to him, the outcome would have been different, even if it was very unprofessional to approach someone at work via email.
 
ltron said:
My question is did she go through the official channels or go straight to shaming him on Twitter.
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There's several reasons I think why some women engage in this sort of public shaming.

1) They're vain, even though they object to the male attention, they can use it to show a wider audience they are desirable. Most times you see stories like this you see the woman posing looking pretty with a mock angry face.

2) They want to justify their behaviour by seeking the approval of other women.

3) They seek to create a pro-feminist way of thinking. If she can belittle the men in her professional field maybe it can give her more opportunities down the line. The same way you have women being actively promoted to positions of power now in companies to redress the gender balance, their suitability for the role taking a back foot.
 
Doing a bit of detective work, the image blurring isn't perfect, and trolling through her Facebook, etc. I think there is some stuff she isn't letting on :s but gonna stop there.
 
norm said:
There's several reasons I think why sone women engage in this sort of public shaming.

1) They're vain, even though they object to the male attention, they can use it to show a wider audience they are desirable.

2) They want to justify their behaviour by seeking the approval of other women.

3) They seek to create a pro-feminist way of thinking. If she can belittle the men in her professional field maybe it can give her more opportunities down the line. The same way you have women being actively promoted to positions of power now in companies to redress the gender balance, their suitability for the role taking a back foot.
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Lets be honest, I'm sure there are plenty of men who would do the exact same thing for reasons 1 & 2

Reason 3 has a huge potential to backfire - she's made herself very controversial, and some potential employers may simply think she's not worth the risk.

You also forgot the obvious reason 4 - they're a bit of a ****
 
norm said:
There's several reasons I think why some women engage in this sort of public shaming.

1) They're vain, even though they object to the male attention, they can use it to show a wider audience they are desirable. Most times you see stories like this you see the woman posing looking pretty with a mock angry face.

2) They want to justify their behaviour by seeking the approval of other women.

3) They seek to create a pro-feminist way of thinking. If she can belittle the men in her professional field maybe it can give her more opportunities down the line. The same way you have women being actively promoted to positions of power now in companies to redress the gender balance, their suitability for the role taking a back foot.
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These assume she is motivated by narcissistic tendencies, we all are to some extent but you have very little evidence to come to a conclusion either way. It could be as simple as it's therapeutic to vent her opinion.
 
Anyone who thinks that womens reaction to attention isn't massively dictated by their attraction to the person giving it is delusional and either doesn't live in the real world or is coming at this from a strange angle.

Go on a night out and see what behaviour the good looking guys can get away with and then look at the guys striking out. Its not even a discussion. Thats just life. Beautiful people have it easy. Rich people have it easy. Intelligent people make more money than stupid people etc etc.

I just find it funny that instead of dealing with this like an adult and telling the guy she isn't interested and perhaps helping him understand that the approach was unprofessional she has gone to the frothing masses on Twitter who love nothing more than virtue signalling their moral superiority and extrapolate a complete picture of someone from a few words.

Honestly we should get the Twitter police involved in detective work and archeology because most of them will be able to tell you everything about someone from a couple of words. Sometimes even a single word. Its baffling and really sad.
 
Well. she's not what I'd call a looker, so her faux outrage is odd, never look gift horses in the mouth. Hopefully the lad will go on to be the next Christian Barnard and he can look back on this smugly ;)
 
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