Heart broken

Overlag said:
ive slept with 1 person since her and it was "fun" but crap as well. its not what im after.
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suarve said:
As soon as you've slept with a few other people you won't even remember her. She's obv. moved on and done the same, so you should too.
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I'm not the kind of person that does this. I had sex with one girl a couple of months after we split up and it didn't feel right at all, I don't really believe in sex unless you love the person. Or unless you're extremely horny (which was my excuse that one time ;))

Overlag said:
on the facebook problem. BLOCK her, then she will never show up in any other friends convo's/tags
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THANKS!!! I didn't actually know that feature existed and it seems like it will stop her from ever appearing to me on facebook, result :) Thats actually made me feel slightly better strangely enough. I can't say how many times i've been apprehensive about looking at friends stuff on there just incase she appears.

What makes it more difficult is the fact that we split up at a point where ALL of my friends are in settled relationships, it's easy to say make new friends but there's only so many hours in the day unfortunately. I think I should start doing aerobics or something, the amount of hot women I see in those classes when i'm coming out of the gym is crazy.
 
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Hobbies are a great way to start getting over people, they take your mind off things and depeneding on what you choose can create friendships and even more.

getting over someone who you loved is never easy, it take a lot of time, and you have to want to get over them or else it takes that much longer to happen.
 
Hobbies are a great way to start getting over people, they take your mind off things and depeneding on what you choose can create friendships and even more.

getting over someone who you loved is never easy, it take a lot of time, and you have to want to get over them or else it takes that much longer to happen.
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Mohawk +1. Brilliant tip. I feel there are so many hours in the day and I would like to take up new hobbies, and hopefully make new friendships and take my mind off every day things. I've done it before and it really does work.

Ripper, Mohawk's 2nd paragraph is spot on.
 
Ripper said:
Why is it so hard?

It's been almost 6 months now since everything went wrong. Still hasn't been one day where I can safely say I havn't thought about her, its ******* annoying. I stupidly sent her a christmas card and present (even after she ignored the fact that it was my birthday a month previous), she text me saying thank you, I don't know what I expected from it to be honest but I just wanted to show her I still cared.

She just doesn't give a damn about me at all, why is that? We spent almost 4 years together for crying out loud. I can understand she might not want to be in a relationship, but to just completely forget about me and not care for someone who you apparantly loved for so long is just something I can't get my head around. Would it hurt to just send a text seeing if things are ok, or ask how my course is going?

I havn't seen her at all since the night I went round begging for her back in September. Apart from one time I drove past her a few weeks later and my heart jumped into my mouth. Saw her mates here and there about town but i've avoided seeing her up to now for one reason or another. I can safely say that unless I contact her I will probably never speak to her again.

Every so often I see her name pop up on facebook, or she comments on a one of my friends photo's. I deleted her and all her friends when we split up obviously, but there's just no escaping her at times. Everytime I accidently see her profile picture I can't describe the anger/frustration/sadness that runs through me, and I HATE it. Everytime I go out i'm **** scared of bumping into her, just the thought of it sends my stomach weird.

On Friday I had an interview and I got the job, so i'll be moving reasonably far away to start that in either June or September. Maybe this will do the trick (i'd still be coming home most weekends), but I just absolutely hate the fact that I care so much about her, even after not seeing her for so long, and she doesn't give a flying **** about me :(

/rant
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Sounds just like the position I am in, except that I'm 25, it's 2 years instead of 4, and that well, I haven't cut her out of my life, despite me trying my best (trying to keep busy basically) but we chat online in a platonic manner, which makes it even harder. She even says that she ahs feelings for me but we weren't "right". Women, eh? I took a jump and asked her out this weekend. Time will tell; if she says no then it may well be time to separate even more and bite my lip. We can only hope that time indeed heals all wounds, or that, if we really do love someone enough, they'll come back on their own accord. Otherwise, I can understand the underlying bitterness, unfairness, and anger you try to bury away.
 
Ripper said:
What makes it more difficult is the fact that we split up at a point where ALL of my friends are in settled relationships, it's easy to say make new friends but there's only so many hours in the day unfortunately. I think I should start doing aerobics or something, the amount of hot women I see in those classes when i'm coming out of the gym is crazy.
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Same thing happened to me mate. Im a part of a group of lads who go out, play football, talk about women together, the usual stuff. When I was with my Ex, I was the only one out of us 5 who had a girlfriend. My relationship ended, then all my mates started to settle down with other half's. Im still the only one without a 'full time' partner but I love it. Its great when going out. Im the only one 'allowed' to talk to women etc. The other lads wish they were single sometimes :p You will get to know more people over time. Just get out there :D

About, getting over your Ex. Its hard, but over time you will get over it. Not to sound bad or anything. I kept on seeing my Ex, we were good friends. She did try and tell me who I could and couldn't see, saying she was my best friend and wanted the best for me. Then suddenly I didn't see her as often. Turned out to have a new fella. Good for me really, I could get on with things. 12 months later with her fella, Saturday just gone, Ive found out that shes getting married at the end of the month :p Hes of Pakistani origin, could do with his background, I dont know but she doesn't half do things backwards.

Shes moved on, Ive moved on. It will happen to you soon enough!
 
It took me a year and a half for me to get over my first serious relationship. It sounds like she used the friends card to make her life easier. I'll be crude, the best way to get over someone is to screw someone else :p
 
Cut all contact. I'm doing this one myself although its a slightly different situation.

I've been friends with a girl for almost a year ( more than friends when it suited her ) as she had a boyfriend and I was getting " If i wasn't with him. i'd be with you".

Now she has just become single and guess what !. "I just want to be single for a while" and "Your too good a friend to risk losing over a relationship" blah blah.

Take a step back, its hard as hell. The alternative only hurts more.
 
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