Help! I need an impressive meal that a complete idiot could cook!

Hellsmk2

Hellsmk2

Hellsmk2

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I drunkenly told a rather fine girl that I would cook her a meal whilst on a night out last weekend. After I did this, I completely forgot about it and got on with my life, completely obivious to the impending doom I'd just caused myself.

I spent until 5am this morning playing left4dead thinking I had a nice day off work where I could sleep, only to get a text about 10 minutes ago reminding me of our little date tonight. ****!

I have NEVER cooked anything other than pasta and a good fry-up. I have 7 hours to come up with a meal that isn't pasta and sauce, that looks impressive and will go down well with a good bottle of wine. I have no idea where to start?!?!

Also, to make matters worse, I live in Poland where it's damn hard to figure out what most ingredients are (due to still learning the language).

One of you must be a culinary genius capable of giving me an absolute idiots guide to cooking something nice that someone as completely inept as myself could learn this afternoon.

I want to avoid pasta if possible and do something really impressive - asking a lot I know!

ARGH! Please? :eek:
 
Veg Soup + grated cheese + warm bread.

then

laye of sliced potatoes, layer or sausage [sliced], layer of potatoes - works best in the oven for cooking. season with some herbs. salad around the sides.

Desert, simple one of chopped apples and banana's with icecream and melted chocolate over it...

nothing hard about it at all and simple to do.

or just buy some body paint [edable] and i reckon she will not forget the night :)
 
She loves cheese on toast, but it's not exactly what she's expecting!

Damnit alcohol... Why would you make me say such things? I thought you loved me!
 
1) get 2 salmon steaks or fillets
2) wrap them indiviually in foil with a little thinly chopped onion, salt, pepper, chinese five spice, teaspoon of soy sauce and teaspoon of water.
3) place in oven (180 deg C) for 25 mins.
4) while this cooking doing prepare a few charlotte potatoes (or similar) and boil in salted water for 15 mins (check they are cooked before serving - should be firm but not crunchy!)
5) steam on top of pan (if you have a steamer) or microwave, a few carrots cut into matchstick size pieces and some small heads of broccoli.
6) remove fish from foil and plate up, add carrots, broccolli and pots around plate add one or two salad leaves or fresh baby spinach for garnish & serve.
EASY.
If you need dessert then fresh fruit (tangerine, pineapple, apple, banana or what ever you can get - strawberry, raspberry, melon) cut into nice even small cubes or segments with a couple of SMALL balls of good quality ice cream (vanilla is best).
DONE.
Sorry for the Gordon Ramsey style!!
 
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That does sound awesome, but there are a few more things I should probably add:

- I don't have a microwave.
- I don't have a steamer.

- I DO have an oven and a stove.
- I have one pan and skillet.
- I have one (broken) chopping knife.
- I have a couple of forks.

(I also don't know what chinese five spices is in polish)

God, I'm completely inept!

I forgot to add I have a chopping board too!!!
 
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We've already done the fancy restaraunt thing to death - time to move things closer to home (as in inside it) :)

I'm off to the supermarket where I shall be getting some chicken filets thingies, mushrooms, carrots, cheese and any herbs I can figure out from the currently incomprehensible labels. I figure I can have a practice run this afternoon and see how bloody awful my creation is.

Please keep the ideas coming, and make someone very happy this evening :)
 
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mp3kla said:
Well that's always a good start when you're cooking a meal!
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lol.. true that! How about... Just something you can put in the oven.. so long as you dont burn it.. it will be fine :D...

Take-away and lie if your a complete hopeless at cooking?
 
Easy but quite impressive meal if she likes fish would be salmon fillet (organic if possible but not vital), with baby new potatoes, and a side salad.

Then something like New York cheesecake or tiramisu for dessert.

The salmon is easy to cook too:

Get some kitchen foil, cut a reasonable sized piece, spread some margarine on the tin foil and then place the salmon on the foil. Put a small bit of margarine on the top of the salmon and sprinkle it with mixed herbs.

Then, wrap the tin foil around the salmon, though not too tight, and put in the oven for about 20 minutes. While this is cooking, put the potatoes in a saucepan of boiling water, and simmer them for about 20 minutes also. When the salmon and potatoes are done, sprinkle some lemon on the salmon and serve it all with a side salad. Goes well with a good bottle of white wine too. It is tasty, simple, and classy :)
 
nicktay2605 said:
Easy but quite impressive meal if she likes fish would be salmon fillet (organic if possible but not vital), with baby new potatoes, and a side salad.

Then something like New York cheesecake or tiramisu for dessert.

The salmon is easy to cook too:

Get some kitchen foil, cut a reasonable sized piece, spread some margarine on the tin foil and then place the salmon on the foil. Put a small bit of margarine on the top of the salmon and sprinkle it with mixed herbs.

Then, wrap the tin foil around the salmon, though not too tight, and put in the oven for about 20 minutes. While this is cooking, put the potatoes in a saucepan of boiling water, and simmer them for about 20 minutes also. When the salmon and potatoes are done, sprinkle some lemon on the salmon and serve it all with a side salad. Goes well with a good bottle of white wine too. It is tasty, simple, and classy :)
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See - its that salmon thing - with potatoes in your 1 pan and the side salad its as easy as anything - the man has it right - got loads of girlies impressed with that meal!!
 
Ingredients:

2x Chicken Breasts
1x Jar of sundried tomatoes
1x Jar of pesto
1x Pack of pancetta slices
1x Pack of pancetta cubes
1x Pack of asparagus
1x Pack of Ainsley Harriots Spice Senstation Cous Cous

Recipe:

1) Take the chicken breast an open it out using a knife
2) Spread a little pesto over the inside of the chicken breast
3) Place sundried tomatoes in the centre of the open chicken
4) Role the chicken up
5) Place the chicken on top of 4/5 pieces of pancetta slices
6) Wrap the slices around the chicken
7) Place on a backing tray and place in oven at 200C for 25mins

5 mins before the end

1) Pour 320ml of boiling water into a pan... and add the cous cous,
2) Leave for 5 mins, fluff up with a fork and serve

Wilst doign the above

1) Cut the asparagus in half,
2) Put oil, salt and pepper in a pan and heat
3) When it is nice and hot add the asparagus and pancetta cubes
4) Fry for 5 mins

Pull every thing together and....

BISH BASH BOSH.... Real good NOSH :D

(i did it last night for 5 of us and it was pukka)
 
Hellsmk2 said:
That I can do - is there any sauce I can put on the salmon, or is it best without?
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no dont bother with a sauce - if you can buy a salad dressing from the shop that will be fine - there will be some buttery sauce from around the fish - just dont pour all of it over as the fish will be quite moist enough.:D
 
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