Hello all, i am hoping you might be able to help me sort my head out. Yes i know it is sad to ask this on an internet forum but my mates think the answer is to "Go out and pull a dirty little hussy in a night club".
It really is playing me up and is constantly on my mind so please don't take the NO SWEARING
It is about my ex girlfriend (yes i hear your sighs "Not another GF thread!") who i was with for 5 years. I am 22.
Everything was going well and we were living together in her 1 bed house. She saw a cottage up for sale close by which was cheap but obviously needed work doing. We bought it and renovated it. I did as much as i could and got tradesman in for the other bits. The house was completely gutted (plaster off all walls damp proofed, new windows, doors, kitchecn, bathroom, etc etc. Every room was ocmpletely re-done top to bottom. Not long after we bought it i noticed her being a bit offish with me. The sex reduced to almost nothing and what there was, was crap. She didn't want to sit close to me when we watched TV, etc. I kept questioning her, she did say she didn't know what was wrong but eventually came out and said it was because i had put on weight. True i had, but it was because i had to stop all my sports, etc after an operation on my back. It got worse, she started to hate me, and tell me everything i did was wrong. I suggested we go out in the evenings or for days out. I offered holidays, visitng family, took her out to films, theatre and meals etc. She still didn't seem overly fussed by me. She then almost completely shut me off and hardley spoke to me, and wouldn't talk about it. I started to get down so i spent more time with my mates, but everytime i did she would phone me and scream at me to come home. I normally did, because she would sound so upset on the phone.
The relationship ended in October last year. She demanded i move out, so i moved back with my parents. 3 days after leaving i went back to pick some stuff up and found some random bloke in my front room. I didn't react, i just went upstairs to get some things and got upset and left. After being away from her for a couple of weeks, i contacted her and asked to talk, i told her i wanted to try to sort things out and that i wanted her back. She said No, she didn't want to, she wanted "time". I signed the house over to her and got a crappy pay out which was worth nothing.
Since then i have been in contact for periods of time, first off it was because she begged me for help with the house, it wasn't finished so i did it. I finished it all, and it looks amazing. It's exactly how i would have wanted it and it is gut wrenching to see it all finished knowing it could have been mine. After i finished the house, i told her again how i felt and she said she wasn't sure but wanted to be good friends. I couldn't handle that so i cut contact again. She contacted me again a month later, asking how i was etc. I ignored her but she kept trying. she left it then contacted me in a panic one morning saying she had spilt water in her laptop, and was really upset. she had recently got it (which i helped her choose and setup). I fixed it (it took hours and had to get parts from Dell (lied and got parts sent on warranty). I said i was cutting contact again because i still felt the same, and she said she wasn't sure, she said if we tried again it would have to be different, etc. I agreed and said we could try, but nothing fast or serious. She said she wanted me in every way but still didn't fancey me, so it couldn;t be romantic (WTF?!?!) I have now been able to star sport again so i have lost some weight and its dropping off with the football and cycling but its still too much. We went for a day out the other day then onto the cinema, it was great and we got along really well. I went out lkast night, got absoloutely ruined and saw her in a club. I asked her how she felt now, etc etc. She didn't want to talk but i continued and messed things up. Went over today to say sorry and she said she still can't make up her mind. For her it seems to boil down to she doesn't fancey me, thus meaning she can't have a relationship.
My head is in an utter state and i dont know what to do. I have told her i want a definate answer by Wednesday before i go away on holiday with the lads to Kos. I've felt crap for 8 months and i want closure. I still love her and want her back. Should i try to be fjust friends with her or cut all contact? I know if i am friends with her and she tells me she has found someone else it would destroy me again. Also if we are friends i will always hope for more.
Am i a complete NO SWEARING? I am also considering movign away from this county, somewhere new and fresh.
Thanks for listening and sorry for droning on. Ask any questons and pass on your advice as i am sure there have been others in this situation.
It really is playing me up and is constantly on my mind so please don't take the NO SWEARING
It is about my ex girlfriend (yes i hear your sighs "Not another GF thread!") who i was with for 5 years. I am 22.
Everything was going well and we were living together in her 1 bed house. She saw a cottage up for sale close by which was cheap but obviously needed work doing. We bought it and renovated it. I did as much as i could and got tradesman in for the other bits. The house was completely gutted (plaster off all walls damp proofed, new windows, doors, kitchecn, bathroom, etc etc. Every room was ocmpletely re-done top to bottom. Not long after we bought it i noticed her being a bit offish with me. The sex reduced to almost nothing and what there was, was crap. She didn't want to sit close to me when we watched TV, etc. I kept questioning her, she did say she didn't know what was wrong but eventually came out and said it was because i had put on weight. True i had, but it was because i had to stop all my sports, etc after an operation on my back. It got worse, she started to hate me, and tell me everything i did was wrong. I suggested we go out in the evenings or for days out. I offered holidays, visitng family, took her out to films, theatre and meals etc. She still didn't seem overly fussed by me. She then almost completely shut me off and hardley spoke to me, and wouldn't talk about it. I started to get down so i spent more time with my mates, but everytime i did she would phone me and scream at me to come home. I normally did, because she would sound so upset on the phone.
The relationship ended in October last year. She demanded i move out, so i moved back with my parents. 3 days after leaving i went back to pick some stuff up and found some random bloke in my front room. I didn't react, i just went upstairs to get some things and got upset and left. After being away from her for a couple of weeks, i contacted her and asked to talk, i told her i wanted to try to sort things out and that i wanted her back. She said No, she didn't want to, she wanted "time". I signed the house over to her and got a crappy pay out which was worth nothing.
Since then i have been in contact for periods of time, first off it was because she begged me for help with the house, it wasn't finished so i did it. I finished it all, and it looks amazing. It's exactly how i would have wanted it and it is gut wrenching to see it all finished knowing it could have been mine. After i finished the house, i told her again how i felt and she said she wasn't sure but wanted to be good friends. I couldn't handle that so i cut contact again. She contacted me again a month later, asking how i was etc. I ignored her but she kept trying. she left it then contacted me in a panic one morning saying she had spilt water in her laptop, and was really upset. she had recently got it (which i helped her choose and setup). I fixed it (it took hours and had to get parts from Dell (lied and got parts sent on warranty). I said i was cutting contact again because i still felt the same, and she said she wasn't sure, she said if we tried again it would have to be different, etc. I agreed and said we could try, but nothing fast or serious. She said she wanted me in every way but still didn't fancey me, so it couldn;t be romantic (WTF?!?!) I have now been able to star sport again so i have lost some weight and its dropping off with the football and cycling but its still too much. We went for a day out the other day then onto the cinema, it was great and we got along really well. I went out lkast night, got absoloutely ruined and saw her in a club. I asked her how she felt now, etc etc. She didn't want to talk but i continued and messed things up. Went over today to say sorry and she said she still can't make up her mind. For her it seems to boil down to she doesn't fancey me, thus meaning she can't have a relationship.
My head is in an utter state and i dont know what to do. I have told her i want a definate answer by Wednesday before i go away on holiday with the lads to Kos. I've felt crap for 8 months and i want closure. I still love her and want her back. Should i try to be fjust friends with her or cut all contact? I know if i am friends with her and she tells me she has found someone else it would destroy me again. Also if we are friends i will always hope for more.
Am i a complete NO SWEARING? I am also considering movign away from this county, somewhere new and fresh.
Thanks for listening and sorry for droning on. Ask any questons and pass on your advice as i am sure there have been others in this situation.
