Help me with a girl

  • Thread starter Thread starter M0T
  • Start date Start date
WantoN said:
Are you serious? Asking upfront once is fine, but at the end of the day, excitement is the key, it's not particularly exciting if the fella is chasing you up about details. Women like confidence, nothing screams a lack of confidence like hounding someone for details.

7:30 is barely the evening, I wouldn't have bothered texting till the following day.

Ant :cool:
Click to expand...


Well when someone keeps asking you to go somewhere with them you kinda might ask where and when you were supposed to be going. I asked her at 7:30 because the gig was supposed to start at 9 and it was in London then there was a chance that she might still want me to go and I would have still been able to get there in time.
 
WantoN said:
Seems to me that you've gotten a bit clingy and tried not to project this in your post. 7:30 isn't exactly late, and if you've been chasing her up on details since the invite, rather than just going with the flow, you may have put her off.

Back off, don't bother asking her about the details. It seems to me you just need to chill out and let things come to you a little more.

Treat 'em mean keep 'em keen, the addage may be a bit extreme, but acting a little aloof and leaving them with less than the whole picture is never a bad idea in the beginning.
Click to expand...
Agree with everything said in this post.

From your original post it seems that you're probably coming accross as clingy. When she cancelled you should have just accepted it rather than getting in a mood about it, which achieves absolutely nothing.

Pay her back in actions, not in words (ie. cancel on her next time :p).
 
gord said:
TBH, if someone cant tell me when and where i need to be if they want me to be there i cant be arsed fiddling around trying to get the info to be there..
Click to expand...

That's my point. The OP hardly depicted this as the course of action taken, instead it seems he chased and chased. Nonchalance is a winner with women, and it's a fine line to tread.

Ant :cool:
 
DannyDan said:
Agree with everything said in this post.

From your original post it seems that you're probably coming accross as clingy. When she cancelled you should have just accepted it rather than getting in a mood about it, which achieves absolutely nothing.

Pay her back in actions, not in words (ie. cancel on her next time :p).
Click to expand...

I would have been in a mood about it regardless of who did it, and she would have said something if she had been in the same situation (In fact the other week we were supposed to be going to thorpe park, it fell through before I had told her when we were going and she got all angry with me because she thought I'd gone without her).

I can't help wanting to get things moving, seems like we have wasted a long time because of a misunderstanding when we first met.
 
M0T said:
Well when someone keeps asking you to go somewhere with them you kinda might ask where and when you were supposed to be going. I asked her at 7:30 because the gig was supposed to start at 9 and it was in London then there was a chance that she might still want me to go and I would have still been able to get there in time.
Click to expand...

Don't get me wrong mate, I'm not accusing, and I do see that I got the wrong end of the stick. It's just that had it been me, I'd have left it at the e-mail, then, on friday, had I still not heard anything, I'd ring up and say something along the following lines "Hey, you still want me to come tonight, if not a few of the guys are having a bash down the pub."

It just seems to me that you may, unintentionally, have been a bit over-exciteable. And we've all been guilty of that some time or another ;)

Ant :cool:
 
WantoN said:
Don't get me wrong mate, I'm not accusing, and I do see that I got the wrong end of the stick. It's just that had it been me, I'd have left it at the e-mail, then, on friday, had I still not heard anything, I'd ring up and say something along the following lines "Hey, you still want me to come tonight, if not a few of the guys are having a bash down the pub."

It just seems to me that you may, unintentionally, have been a bit over-exciteable. And we've all been guilty of that some time or another ;)

Ant :cool:
Click to expand...

Ahh you misunderstood. When I spoke to her on friday I didn't mention it at all, she brought it up and asked me 5 times even though I said ok the first one. She seemed to really want me to come, sent me a load of their songs and was just generally really excited about going with me. In that context I didn't think it was too ott to text her at 7:30 and ask her what had happened (at the time I sent the message I was worried something had happened to her just because she really seemed to want me to come).
 
M0T said:
I would have been in a mood about it regardless of who did it, and she would have said something if she had been in the same situation (In fact the other week we were supposed to be going to thorpe park, it fell through before I had told her when we were going and she got all angry with me because she thought I'd gone without her).

I can't help wanting to get things moving, seems like we have wasted a long time because of a misunderstanding when we first met.
Click to expand...

If that happened maybe she was doing what some of the others on here said for you to do? Maybe she wanted to pay you back for what fell through the week before?
 
But we never got past the planning stage on that one, I didn't even say a date or anything, just asked if she'd like to come when we went.
 
It sounds like it was just a casual outing she had planned, but because you kept hounding her she probably decided to stay away.

Next time, try to relax.
 
iCraig said:
It sounds like it was just a casual outing she had planned, but because you kept hounding her she probably decided to stay away.

Next time, try to relax.
Click to expand...


Mate I barely mentioned it until the friday evening when she hadn't told me where it was.

On wednesday the conversation went like this:

Her: Would you like to take me to see a band on friday?
Me: Cool, who is it and where?
Then she told me all about the band etc then as she says shes going to bed
Her: I'll let you know all the details tomorrow, nite!

Thursday I was barely on at all said hello and told her I was about to go out and might not be on msn the next day because I was spending the day with a mate so it would probably be easiest if she dropped me an email.

Friday I came on the net briefly and the conversation went like this:
Her: Hey
Me: Hi, how are you?
Her: Good
Her: Do you still want to come out tonight?
Me: Yeah
Her: Good, Ill send you some songs.

Then she sent me some songs, asked me if I wanted to come a few more times and then I went out and she was supposed to message me the details.

I can't really see how that was 'hounding her' unless I was supposed to ignore her every time she asked until the last one, maybe throwing some mustard and stabbing her in the norks?

Edit: I'd like to add that she revealed that she had not been out in a week and a half in the evening because she wanted to stay and talk to me on msn, because she misses me when I'm not talking to her, and seemed a bit upset that I was going out on thursday.
 
Last edited:
Guess what, she likes you. She tried to tell you in asking you to see the band, but you having such a busy social life she probably didn;t think you were that interested.

I think your next step should be to find a good gig that's coming up. Buy two tickets and go up to her. Give her the ticket and say, fancey coming with me? If she says no, you can go with a mate, so you haven't lost any money, If she says she isn't sure, tell her, you like her and think it would be a good ime to get to know her.

People seem to worry about what the other thinks and debate on telling them in a sly weay. If your open and straight with her she will respect that. I was always straight with woman and got a lot more dates than my mates. Simply because i would say i liked them, and wanted to get to know them. It's not marrige or a commitment, it's just one night.

Got for it buddy, and good luck.
 
I think the next step is to try and talk to her.

She came on earlier and we basically ignored yesterday and talked about other things although she wasn't saying much. She said she was going to have dinner and would come back when she was finished, that was about 2 hours ago...
 
She seems like a lot of hassle. If I were you, I'd look for someone else who acutally realises that you have a life of your own tbh.
 
I have a sort of suspiscion based on some things she said to me that I would like to put out there.

I have this sneaking feeling that she wanted to me to come with her, but felt hurt that I didn't invite her out with me on thursday evening or friday afternoon, and so decided that she would teach me a lesson. I wonder if I might have given her the impression that I didn't really care about seeing her and perhaps she got upset at me when she realised she was wrong.

When I talk to her every time I mention any of my other friends she goes all funny, like I should only ever spend time talking to her. But equally she never mentions her friends at all, its kind of like she feels they are intruding?
 
Whatever you do, don't get sucked into the trap of spending all your time with her instead of your mates. If she starts getting funny about your mates, she isn't worth it in my opinion.

What ship never sinks? A friendship ;)
 
Texts and Emails are totally crap

in future just pick a time to call her. or for her to call you.

it takes about 20 texts to say what can be said in 2 mins :)
 
Hedge said:
Texts and Emails are totally crap

in future just pick a time to call her. or for her to call you.

it takes about 20 texts to say what can be said in 2 mins :)
Click to expand...

Very true! I find it miles easier to give a quick call, then you can say ' I just wanted to hear your voice again'

+44
 
Right I have just spoken to her and found out whats going on.

She really likes me as a person, but doesn't fancy me because I am too skinny so she bottled out of it because she didn't think it would be fair on me.

I have to say I am really skinny because I was ill for quite a long time and went from almost 12 stone to just under 10, currently just over 10.5 and rising (am 6ft tall).

Sort of gives me added reason to keep getting bigger.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom