Help with absenteism

Status
Not open for further replies.
Almost certainly bullying, the school will be oblivious to it, the culprits will be - in the teachers views - the best students in the class.

You need to find out from her who the problem is, and see what can be done. If you get her back in school, keep a VERY close eye on the situation. Seen this course before with my sister, a couple of packs of paracetamol got involved. Fortunately that causes gut wrenching pain and she got the help she needed.
 
We don't live to far from the school, so i was thinking that me and the wife could take one arm each, and carry/drag her to school.

Good idea or not?.

We are getting desperate in how to get her there.

We WILL be fined if she does not go, but if we get her into school it then becomes their responsability.

Funny,,,, they will not physically help to get her into school, but they will physically get her into care.
 
moremoney said:
We don't live to far from the school, so i was thinking that me and the wife could take one arm each, and carry/drag her to school.

Good idea or not?.
Click to expand...

If the cause is bullying, this won't help al all, ripe ammo for teasing.

I suggest you take a week off work, then pester her constantly until she either goes to school or tells you why she doesn't want to.

Does she spend much time with friends out of school hours and on weekends?
 
Last edited:
Does she do other things when its not school time ? i.e. go out with friends or does she stay in all the time ?
 
She will not admit to being bullied, so if she is how do i get it out of her.

I know how strong she is so i actually don't think she is being bullied.

I tried to drag her to school last week, and felt her strength when she shrugged me off.
 
moremoney said:
She will not admit to being bullied, so if she is how do i get it out of her.

I know how strong she is so i actually don't think she is being bullied.

I tried to drag her to school last week, and felt her strength when she shrugged me off.
Click to expand...

Most bullying isn't physical.

She will tell you if you approach her right and push hard enough. If you can get her to school soon, and she comes back upset, that would be a good time. Reward her for going in and try to extract the information at the same time.

If it's lazyness, then being at school is better than the Spanish inquisition from your parents about bullying.
 
Sit her down and keep asking her until she tells you. Dont let her leave until she gives you something.
 
Have you asked her if she's being bullied? If not I would bring it up, you should be able to tell by her reaction.

It seems strange this has only manifested in the last month.
 
Have you told her that she WILL be taken into care, that you WILL be fined, and you WILL go to jail.

Shock can be a very good weapon.
 
Dragging her to school won't help as she'll just think your on "their" side when it comes to actually talking about whats going on. Take her to doctors and get a referal to a local psychiatrist. She won't know who it is so will be able to confide in them if she actually is getting bullied and their sensitive questioning and techniques will be better aimed then a home grown method.

Personally I'd make sure she was fully aware of the consequences of not going to school at all. You getting fined being one of the more serious ones along with her limiting her chances of getting a job at the end of it all. Definately nip it in the bud as soon as possible as I'm sure she thinks now that shes getting her own way and will continue to do so.

You need to shift the power back into your favour, good luck and let us know how you get on mate
 
There are pupils I teach who didn't attend for long periods purely because they hate school. The environment, the people, the smell... anything. They just can't bear being there. I think sometimes people underestimate how 'traumatic' it can be for some pupils when the move from primary to secondary. I remember being terrified of the sheer scale of the building when making the same transition. It's not always bullying.

I'm sure you've already done this, but I'd suggest the following:

1) Speak to her head of year/pastoral leader/tutor or EWO. See what they suggest. Perhaps they can speak to her at home to try and get her to school for a meeting.

2) Explain to her, as if she's an adult, the consequences of her actions. The fines, the cost to her education (95% is just satisfactory) and her being taken into care.

3) Part-time timetable? Purely to get her re-integrated.

It's a very difficult situation for you to be in, so I appreciate that. Was she a well-behaved, high attaining pupil prior to secondary school?

If it makes a difference, she sounds like a girl who has just recently started attending regularly. It got so bad for her that her hair began to fall out - around Year 8. She's now Year 10, still very quiet and withdrawn, but is becoming a successful student.

Good luck.
 
Nzyme said:
Have you told her that she WILL be taken into care, that you WILL be fined, and you WILL go to jail.

Shock can be a very good weapon.
Click to expand...

Shes only 12 though, you can do some serious damage to a child from emotional blackmail if used wrongly!
 
If you force her to go, and she is getting bullied, imagine what kind of message that sends to her as to how much you care?

You really need to have a discussion, outline to her the consequences of what will happen if she doesn't go (if social really would take her away for example) and you need her to tell you why.
 
I have tried all of the above except taser her.

We have a friend with a child two years older, in the same school. What are the possibilities of him knowing or finding out for us, (my wife thinks not) but i don't see why not.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top Bottom