Soldato
- Joined
- 4 Mar 2010
- Posts
- 5,038
I said it was a start!It still reads terribly.
Help with letter to MD
- Thread starter Jonnybmac
- Start date
Soldato
- Joined
- 13 Aug 2010
- Posts
- 3,114
Way too long. Think about your target audience, if he's the MD then I would expect him to be busy.
Use bullet points and reduce to 2 paragraphs
Use bullet points and reduce to 2 paragraphs
Rule of thumb for an email is 5 sentences. More and people don't read it, less and people forget about it.
I got about two paragraphs through before my mind stated wandering, and I'm probably not as busy as your MD.
Presuming there is a reason why your going over your bosses head, email may not be the best course is action.
Magnolia suggested trying to arrange a quick meeting with him, I would try to do this.
I got about two paragraphs through before my mind stated wandering, and I'm probably not as busy as your MD.
Presuming there is a reason why your going over your bosses head, email may not be the best course is action.
Magnolia suggested trying to arrange a quick meeting with him, I would try to do this.
Dear big cheese,
As per our discussion the other day, I'd like to bring you up to speed on what I've achieved.
<List one liners on each, and how they have or could aid the company>
However my manager has concerns that these courses may not be pushing the limits of my abilities, this in mind would you be able to spare me some time later this week to plan out some additional activities that would mutually benefit the company and my continued learning please?
Thanks for your time,
Hugs.
OP.
--
Keep it short and sweet, don't over play the waffle and positioning. He knows you're keen else you wouldn't be mailing him.
As per our discussion the other day, I'd like to bring you up to speed on what I've achieved.
<List one liners on each, and how they have or could aid the company>
However my manager has concerns that these courses may not be pushing the limits of my abilities, this in mind would you be able to spare me some time later this week to plan out some additional activities that would mutually benefit the company and my continued learning please?
Thanks for your time,
Hugs.
OP.
--
Keep it short and sweet, don't over play the waffle and positioning. He knows you're keen else you wouldn't be mailing him.
wtf, is that what the mail is about? Why not just talk to the boss? The MD would tell them to do so.
It's a preamble to a meeting, so the MD knows what the meeting is about so he can prepare a line of thought to take with him to make better use of the time?
That's generally how I book my meetings, and in fact most people book them with me.
Minus the "big cheese" and "hugs", obviously.
That's generally how I book my meetings, and in fact most people book them with me.
Minus the "big cheese" and "hugs", obviously.
Normally I'd agree, but in this instance there is history between the MD and the OP. The MD brokered the original meeting, so I guess that's why the OP is aiming back at him for the follow up. That said, if there was any progress on this then the line manager would need to be informed anyway so it is courteous to at least CC or let your manager know what you're doing.
[FnG]magnolia;25245002 said:
This.
It's rambling and seems to have no real point to it, if you want him to read it keep it short and sharp. Especially if it is all about you and no real benefit to the company keep it short, he's probably busy and not going to want to read war and peace about you and your life.
By far the best attempt so far, the others frankly waffle on.
You've written about yourself, what you've done and what you want. Wrong focus. The letter needs to be about the company and what the MD wants.
You don't care what the MD wants. He doesn't care what you want. Not to any significant extent anyway. Pitch the argument appropriately.
"We're struggling to turn around work as rapidly as our competition. There's a cheap OU course aimed at improving our efficiency with computer aided design. It'll require some out-of-hours committment from the staff, so I'd like to volunteer in order to get the ball rolling."
Oh - don't write "large sum of money" in the middle. It's a lot of money to you sure, but it's negligible to an aero company. At the moment it's the most memorable part of the letter.
Good luck
You don't care what the MD wants. He doesn't care what you want. Not to any significant extent anyway. Pitch the argument appropriately.
"We're struggling to turn around work as rapidly as our competition. There's a cheap OU course aimed at improving our efficiency with computer aided design. It'll require some out-of-hours committment from the staff, so I'd like to volunteer in order to get the ball rolling."
Oh - don't write "large sum of money" in the middle. It's a lot of money to you sure, but it's negligible to an aero company. At the moment it's the most memorable part of the letter.
Good luck
Thanks for all the advice.
My team leader gave me the email address so im not strictly going above him i have his permission due to being able to explain better and because he said in the past to remind him on.
As i said earlier its about opputunities and in the future a career change. Im not after a pay rise nor for them to pay for my course but more a direction as to what would be required for me to be an attractable candidate for employment into the cad team should/when a position opens.
Its more to settle piece of mind that im doing all the right things
My team leader gave me the email address so im not strictly going above him i have his permission due to being able to explain better and because he said in the past to remind him on.
As i said earlier its about opputunities and in the future a career change. Im not after a pay rise nor for them to pay for my course but more a direction as to what would be required for me to be an attractable candidate for employment into the cad team should/when a position opens.
Its more to settle piece of mind that im doing all the right things
Soldato
- Joined
- 11 Sep 2009
- Posts
- 14,064
- Location
- France, Alsace
I'd just be like; "What's a man gotta do around here to get a job in that ******* CAD team, yo?"
Nuff said.
Nuff said.
It's just "remind him". No "on" required.
Sheeeeeeeet, done got yo'self some hose and a bent Lee!
Soldato
- Joined
- 2 May 2011
- Posts
- 12,299
- Location
- Woking
I have to say, man, I am a CAD engineer, although I studied mec eng at uni, and you really don't need training courses if it's just AutoCAD.
Im not doing autocad im doing inventor, I learnt autocad to help me to draw in inventor and also incase it came in useful.
As ive already stated ive already spoken to my manager and hes fine with it, i also explained doing it through right protocols and he said it will be fine ill either get a yes/no/come down and see me. The md has a policy that if anyone requires anything then they are always welcome to stop and ask him, he mentions this in every meeting amd my manager said hed probably respect me more for doing it as not many people do pull him up as hes pretty intimidating to look at.
Also on that note the last big meeting we had a few months back to announce his move from director to managing director he said just before stating anyone is welcome to stop him at any time, that he started at the bottom and worked his way up and that he wants others to do the same and encourages it.
I dont think im in a position though to set up a brief meeting which is why i wanted to say it all in an email. All id expect to happen is him put me back on to the design manager but i dont want to email him specifically because last time he stated it wasnt on him, he sidnt know what the md(director at the time) had in store so i feel it would be best to just contact him directly.
My manager feels that i may have missed the boat so to speak now hes md and ive blew my chances for leaving it too late to say anything. He encouraged i still try though as he could stay true to his word
As ive already stated ive already spoken to my manager and hes fine with it, i also explained doing it through right protocols and he said it will be fine ill either get a yes/no/come down and see me. The md has a policy that if anyone requires anything then they are always welcome to stop and ask him, he mentions this in every meeting amd my manager said hed probably respect me more for doing it as not many people do pull him up as hes pretty intimidating to look at.
Also on that note the last big meeting we had a few months back to announce his move from director to managing director he said just before stating anyone is welcome to stop him at any time, that he started at the bottom and worked his way up and that he wants others to do the same and encourages it.
I dont think im in a position though to set up a brief meeting which is why i wanted to say it all in an email. All id expect to happen is him put me back on to the design manager but i dont want to email him specifically because last time he stated it wasnt on him, he sidnt know what the md(director at the time) had in store so i feel it would be best to just contact him directly.
My manager feels that i may have missed the boat so to speak now hes md and ive blew my chances for leaving it too late to say anything. He encouraged i still try though as he could stay true to his word