Helpdesk idiot at managerial level!

utajoker · 11 Oct 2011 at 17:26

one from a teacher when i did tech support in a school.

get called down to a classroom by a teacher.

she points at a printer and says the slider is stuck in the middle and wont go over any more to put in A4 paper.

i look at it, then slide it the other way to the end, look at her then walk out.

edscdk · 11 Oct 2011 at 17:30

B@Th*nG said:
Maybe if you told them the Start Menu is in the bottom LEFT of their screen they'd have had more joy

B@

Now they took the word start off it wtf are you supposed to call it,

I always go for 'the stupid windows orb at the bottom left of your screen'

Wicksta · 11 Oct 2011 at 18:03

grandmaster said:
User rings service desk -

" hello, my computer was doing an update. now my computer says

'press any key'

i swear ive looked over my keyboard for the past ten minutes and i cant find the any key!!!"

Thats from The Simpsons (Homer obviously).

Westyfield2 · 11 Oct 2011 at 18:53

I don't mind people being clueless (as I for example am clueless about plumbing), but what annoys me is people who think they know what they're on about when infact they do not. If you don't have a clue that's fine, just man up & admit it.

RopAyy · 12 Oct 2011 at 11:05

B@Th*nG said:
Maybe if you told them the Start Menu is in the bottom LEFT of their screen they'd have had more joy

B@

haha my bad there! I can genuinely say ive never told a user the right!

I wont even ninja edit my mistake there!

See we still run windows 2000 throughout so no need to tell them to click the 'orb' in the corner!

RopAyy · 12 Oct 2011 at 11:06

Westyfield2 said:
I don't mind people being clueless (as I for example am clueless about plumbing), but what annoys me is people who think they know what they're on about when infact they do not. If you don't have a clue that's fine, just man up & admit it.

Or at least ask someone who is in the know and not try and fail and break it yourself!
I think this is why im happy i know someone in each are of trade work to save me flooding or electrocuting myself and home!

edscdk · 12 Oct 2011 at 11:07

Wicksta said:
Thats from The Simpsons (Homer obviously).

it was a real issue, Gateway were shipping keyboards with an "any" key on them for a while years back... not sure about other MFG's

RopAyy · 12 Oct 2011 at 11:09

edscdk said:
it was a real issue, Gateway were shipping keyboards with an "any" key on them for a while years back... not sure about other MFG's

Thats pretty genius! I think any organisation with a servicedesk should ship out these keyboards!

Calgar117 · 12 Oct 2011 at 11:12

Its called Managerial privilages to define - The art of doing next to no work to flaunt their weight and to be paid a lot more

Wicksta · 12 Oct 2011 at 11:13

edscdk said:
it was a real issue, Gateway were shipping keyboards with an "any" key on them for a while years back... not sure about other MFG's

Are you sure about that? I've used many Gateway machines in the past and have never heard of it, as it was always a running joke in the 90's with The Simpsons quote I'm sure I would have heard about it! What did the any key too? For it to work as 'any' key it would have had to have inputted something.

A Google shows nothing either. Are you sure this isn't another urban myth?

RopAyy · 12 Oct 2011 at 11:25

Wicksta said:
Are you sure about that? I've used many Gateway machines in the past and have never heard of it, as it was always a running joke in the 90's with The Simpsons quote I'm sure I would have heard about it! What did the any key too? For it to work as 'any' key it would have had to have inputted something.

A Google shows nothing either. Are you sure this isn't another urban myth?

Maybe they just used a bit of tipex and replaced the shift key...

Stretch · 12 Oct 2011 at 12:08

I thought it was common knowledge that in IT support they put the dunce up top to keep him out of harms way.

RopAyy · 12 Oct 2011 at 12:23

Stretch said:
I thought it was common knowledge that in IT support they put the dunce up top to keep him out of harms way.

See in theory this sounds like a plan but if the dunce is in charge of editing and controlling permissions for an entire tree surely this can (and has) caused plenty of harm!

He has yet again astounded me today.

The organisation use Smartcards for access to clinical systems and for us non clinical staff we use them to authenticate on the VPN client so we can work from home or anywhere when needs must.
Anyways the cards need to be assigned to each individual all relevant paper work filled out by your line manager, access rights requested if needed (non if its support staff we just need the card) then you register your card with your account.
Well this muppet walked upstairs to the smartcard team, picked up a blank unprinted card and wondered off with it.
Now he's been sat there querying why it doesnt work and how come he hasnt been assigned a pin number........All we've been able to do so far is laugh! He has been told to go actually get a card assigned and not just pick up a blank one from a desk and he is still looking dumbfounded!

freak2002 · 12 Oct 2011 at 12:58

utajoker said:
one from a teacher when i did tech support in a school.

get called down to a classroom by a teacher.

she points at a printer and says the slider is stuck in the middle and wont go over any more to put in A4 paper.

i look at it, then slide it the other way to the end, look at her then walk out.

Same for me (a teacher)

**RING RING**

Teacher: My PC is not working and I cant teach without it.
Me: What exactly is the problem
T: I dont know JUST FIX IT
**Walk over the other end of the school**
T: Its not working
M: **Press power button - PC starts up**
M: How about now?
Students: **lol**

RopAyy · 12 Oct 2011 at 13:09

freak2002 said:
Same for me (a teacher)

**RING RING**

Teacher: My PC is not working and I cant teach without it.
Me: What exactly is the problem
T: I dont know JUST FIX IT
**Walk over the other end of the school**
T: Its not working
M: **Press power button - PC starts up**
M: How about now?
Students: **lol**

I do hate this notion that if they have a technical fault they seem 'unable' to work.
Doctors seem to be the worse...
D -"My printers not working and i cant print out prescriptions..."
Me - "for now can you hand write it?"
D - "Im not paid enough to hand write them, fix it now"
M - *start quoting SLA's*
D - *ends call*

G-MAN2004 · 12 Oct 2011 at 13:23

I think the worst I've witnessed is from my old 6th form tutor. We were all at some big event where we had to do presentations to other colleges when suddenly her laptop with the work on runs out of battery. She vanished for a bit and when she finally gets back, she plugs the charger into her laptop and starts asking why it isn't working. Turns out she that when she wandered off, she plugged the charger in the wall for ten mins thinking the actual charger charges up, ready to plug in the laptop later when you need it.

We were all just laughing and shocked at the same time. I don't know if she was truly that stupid or just having a bad day or something.

Oynas · 12 Oct 2011 at 13:55

G-MAN2004 said:
I think the worst I've witnessed is from my old 6th form tutor. We were all at some big event where we had to do presentations to other colleges when suddenly her laptop with the work on runs out of battery. She vanished for a bit and when she finally gets back, she plugs the charger into her laptop and starts asking why it isn't working. Turns out she that when she wandered off, she plugged the charger in the wall for ten mins thinking the actual charger charges up, ready to plug in the laptop later when you need it.

Jesus wept.