House mate situation

dowie said:
you're going to look like a complete **** in front of all your mutual friends if you're not careful with the way you deal with this
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Quite possibly true. But if they don't know what he's like now, it sounds like they'll soon learn.

Where is he living now? Is it possible to drive round a leave all his stuff there? Even if it has to go in a back yard?
 
h4rm0ny said:
Quite possibly true. But if they don't know what he's like now, it sounds like they'll soon learn.

Where is he living now? Is it possible to drive round a leave all his stuff there? Even if it has to go in a back yard?
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Well he seems to have cut all ties. I dont know where he is living now. I doubt hell get in contact. I'll wait a week... At this point im over the money but I hate his attitude and all I wanted was a conversation for closure.

I'll wait a week and see what happens but I'm looking for a new tenant (yes I have landlord permission) and dont want his stuff here
 
dalehitchy1 said:
Eh? Over Private message on fb
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the situation in general you've got a friend with cancer and he's had to move out... that's one thing and fair enough as he can't afford to pay you rent but the holding his possessions to ransom and then potentially donating them to charity isn't a good move, it doesn't look like the situation has been handled well at all
 
Cut ya losses op. Blocking you on fb. Really ha. How old is he. Anyone give his stuff back. You have a clear concience. If he decided to go down the Suiside route you know full well you didn't do anything to cause it. Move on with misses and forget him. Friends like that not worth knowing. Harsh but until he arrives and apologies and pays you in and becomes a responsible better friend move on!
 
dowie said:
the situation in general you've got a friend with cancer and he's had to move out... that's one thing and fair enough as he can't afford to pay you rent but the holding his possessions to ransom and then potentially donating them to charity isn't a good move, it doesn't look like the situation has been handled well at all
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Past this point I don't care. He's chatted crap about me ... Saying I've moaned at him for buying food when I'm the one who has given him money for food.

I probably already come across as bad to people he's spoke to... May as well live up to my reputation. The mutual friends we have anyway still act like 16 year olds. We are all nearly 30... But they act like a bunch of kids. I think its about time I move on anyway
 
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Donate his stuff to charity and you could be a world of hurt if he takes action about it, it's not yours to donate.

Put a message on facebook simply stating "X has left our house owing £600 in back rent which I am willing to write off, however, he's blocked me on here and ignoring calls, please can someone who knows where he is come and collect his things and pass them on to him"

You're showing that you're the good guy and getting rid of his stuff once and for all.
 
Energize said:
He's had bowel cancer for 8 years, is that a world record?
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If that's indeed true... The bowel cancer survival rate after 5 years is 95% if teated early enough.

But, speaking as a cancer survivor myself (4.5 years) that assumes that they are in remission. Either he's in remission (effectively 'cured' after 5 years and being monitored) or he still has cancer after 8 years (in which case they can't cure it and he's being treated to prolong his life and would probably be seriously ill by now).

Being blunt... after 8 years either he's cured, being monitored and using it for sympathy or he's had all the treatment they can give (radio, chemo, surgery), is going to die at some point and needs all the support he can get. Do you know which it is?

EDIT: Sorry, just realised Energize isn't the op
 
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Hades said:
Sorry, just realised Energize isn't the op
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If he had been, I would have begun to suspect there was a lot more to his username than I had first thought.

I know the OP is unconcerned with what others think of him, but I'd still tread lightly around any suspicions about the validity of his friend's condition.
 
wow that guy really did turn out to be a nasty p taker. Glad he's out of your life and only cost a measly 600 quid. Could have been much worse.

If you could evidence it all logically I'd go after him using money claim but if not, just let it lie and move on.
 
AHarvey said:
Donate his stuff to charity and you could be a world of hurt if he takes action about it, it's not yours to donate.

Put a message on facebook simply stating "X has left our house owing £600 in back rent which I am willing to write off, however, he's blocked me on here and ignoring calls, please can someone who knows where he is come and collect his things and pass them on to him"

You're showing that you're the good guy and getting rid of his stuff once and for all.
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This is the best advice.
 
Seconding not to donate his stuff to charity.

does he not have a mobile number that you know of? At least let him know he's got x days to get his stuff before you leave it outside for him to collect.
 
AHarvey said:
Donate his stuff to charity and you could be a world of hurt if he takes action about it, it's not yours to donate.

Put a message on facebook simply stating "X has left our house owing £600 in back rent which I am willing to write off, however, he's blocked me on here and ignoring calls, please can someone who knows where he is come and collect his things and pass them on to him"

You're showing that you're the good guy and getting rid of his stuff once and for all.
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While I agree, I'm curious how long should he be expected to keep hold of the things. Especially seeing as he is looking at renting the room out again. To me holding onto to them for a week then getting rid seems pretty fair. The guy knows where they are so could pick them up at anytime, if he doesn't well then it's his own fault tbh
 
Hades said:
If that's indeed true... The bowel cancer survival rate after 5 years is 95% if teated early enough.

But, speaking as a cancer survivor myself (4.5 years) that assumes that they are in remission. Either he's in remission (effectively 'cured' after 5 years and being monitored) or he still has cancer after 8 years (in which case they can't cure it and he's being treated to prolong his life and would probably be seriously ill by now).

Being blunt... after 8 years either he's cured, being monitored and using it for sympathy or he's had all the treatment they can give (radio, chemo, surgery), is going to die at some point and needs all the support he can get. Do you know which it is?

EDIT: Sorry, just realised Energize isn't the op
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why does it have to be either and how is it relevant anyway - the OP said the guy had had bowel problems for 8 years not that he'd had cancer for 8 years - he's seemingly got cancer now though
 
regulus said:
Then there's the going out drinking part whilst having debts to pay. Though it comes as no surprise that some people in this thread ignores that part and slate the OP for not being a mate. They see nothing wrong with it as they'll more than likely do exactly the same and see nothing wrong with it. The OP that gave him a place to live, helped him with money the past 4 months and been to hospital and back with him.
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I agree, that was the first thing that made me think 'now, hang on a minute'.

Going out drinking is not important, you can easily not do that and pay back your debts. You are effectively tipping someone elses money down the toilet.
 
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