How did some people cope with there new bundle of joy?

Was she working when she fell pregnant? If so then she will get maternity leave.

From DirectGov site :
Who is eligible for SMP?
To qualify for SMP you must have been:
employed by the same employer continuously for at least 26 weeks into the 15th week before the week your baby is due (the qualifying week)
earning on average an amount which at least equals the lower earnings limit which applies on the Saturday at the end of your qualifying week
The lower earnings limit is the amount you have to earn before you are treated as paying National Insurance contributions. This is £97 a week if the end of your qualifying week is in the 2010-11 tax year.
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That means if she is 26 weeks pregnant 15 weeks prior to due date she qualifies. As due date is 40 weeks from conception she only needs to have been there 1 week prior to falling pregnant. If she is 10 weeks in and has worked for 11 weeks or more she will qualify for SMP if earning more than £97 per week and she continues her employment up until week 26 of pregnancy.

If she does not qualify for SMP then she may qualify for MA (Maternity Allowance) and if not that then ESA (Employment and Support Allowance). Ask her employer for form SMP1 if she does not qualify for SMP. ESA will be calculated automatically by JobCentre+ if she does not qualify for MA.

Speak to CAB if required.

Also have a read of full DirecGov site.

http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Parents...amilies/Pregnancyandmaternityrights/index.htm

We had a fight my my partners employer regarding her SMP when she decided not to return to work regarding her SMP and benefits etc. We had to involve ACAS to resolve and managed to get all of her outstanding holiday pay and benefits paid after she left. Learn your rights and make sure you get them. It is surprising how many employers do not know when your rights are.
 
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You'll get by. Trust me I have 4!.

There are bursaries you can get and when your partner is around 30 weeks pregnant you will also get a payment of around ~£190 also I believe at least we did early last year.

I have 2 wholesale accounts with Nursery suppliers that ive used for my kids and also when I sold them to the public. Send me a message via trust and I'll give you them so you can join and save yourself some money. Example I bought this from my supplier last year for £330: http://www.kiddies-kingdom.com/ProductsDetails.aspx?item_id=699&pID=

They are many ways to save money and cut your costs. You can and will do it.
 
chris74 said:
You'll get by. Trust me I have 4!.

There are bursaries you can get and when your partner is around 30 weeks pregnant you will also get a payment of around ~£190 also I believe at least we did early last year.

They are many ways to save money and cut your costs. You can and will do it.
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New government has canned the Health In Pregnancy grant of £190. Not sure of date it will stop (Possibly April 2011) but it is stopping so dont always count it.

But yes. You will get by. We manage on a day to day and yes I have to juggle credit cards some months when things need buying but one day it will be sorted. Only the one kid at the moment and she wants another so I will be juggling even more soon I think.
 
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platypus said:
So, you know you can't afford the child and yet you're still having it? Interesting.
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He hasn't said he can't afford it, get off your high horse.

To the OP:

Obviously money is tight when you have a child regardless of who you are. In my experience, you tend to go without things for yourself, it's a natural progression and you don't even realise you are doing it. Priorities naturally change, you'll be fine.

It's amazing how much is donated as well, clothes, equipment etc. from friends and family :)

eBay is also a good source for quality, second hand baby clothes etc. People tend to sell stuff in age rated bundles - just make sure it comes from a pet and smoke free home.

If money is very tight, then all you need to start with is:

1. Cot or Moses basket
2. Car seat - Always buy new!
3. Pushchair
4. Bottles & Sterilizer if other half isn't breast feeding
5. Clothes

Now, ignore anyone else that says you need anything else and ignore the magazines, they are all talking crap. The 5 items above are all you need, anything else is just nice to have.

Don't panic! ;)

P.S. Congratulations! :)
 
Don't buy many clothes.

Don't bother with many toys - maybe 1 or two. The baby won't know what toys are anyway for a while.

Buy second hand where deasible.
 
Congratulations mate, especially after the miscarriage and whatnot before.

quite simply there is never a right time to have kids, there is always something else to spend money on, however when the little person comes along all those selfish materialistic things will seem completely insignificant.

We have a boy (nearly 5) and a girl (nearly 2) and our finances are just starting to get back on track.

With the first everything was brand new and the best we could afford, with the second we learned our lesson and used ebay and friends and family....this saved us a small fortune.

you can claw money back as you go along too, selling clothes, unwanted gifts bedding etc on ebay, dont just pass this type of item on to others.

Oh and buy a microwave steriliser...it will save you a lot of time and hassle in the future.
 
cheers guys, iv'e already setup a saving's account for baby, which is a good start.
i think my main concern is that we are looking to rent a property closer to home so if there is an emergency are family are close by, but the rent is higher. at the moment were paying £550 a month, including all other utilities comes to about £800-£900. the flat we are going for is about £675, im kind of thinking how am i gonna be able to pay that and still be able to get by.
 
Our first girl cost a fortune (bought everything brand new), only saving grace was that we kept everything she had as a baby/toddler and hey presto another girl came along 10 months ago so she's now enjoying our first one's cast-offs at £nil cost!

Very expensive kids but it can be done sensibly - 2nd hand stuff is readily available - car boot sales/ebay/local paper/word of mouth.

Don't throw clothes/toys/odds and ends away either - once they've out-grown them - sell em!
 
Mp4 said:
lucky lot that are parents. Gf and i have been trying for 2 years now with 2x miscariage. Though my brother has a baby girl 7 months which has made up for it a bit.
But the gf still says things about the 1st miscariage saying like the baby would be 1yr now.
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sorry to hear that you had 2 x MC must have been a traumatic experience for you both, just try and comfort your partner and talk to each other.
 
dave1983 said:
cheers guys, iv'e already setup a saving's account for baby, which is a good start.
i think my main concern is that we are looking to rent a property closer to home so if there is an emergency are family are close by, but the rent is higher. at the moment were paying £550 a month, including all other utilities comes to about £800-£900. the flat we are going for is about £675, im kind of thinking how am i gonna be able to pay that and still be able to get by.
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Child benefit/working tax credits etc should top that up. Your Mrs might still get some maternity pay see ShadowMan's post.
 
Dave, first off don't worry about it. There is help available.

I was lucky with little Von. After 3 months he was sleeping about 8 hours right through at least without a feed and he is not a whingy kid. Up to three months, he was wanting a feed a 2-3 times a night max.

Dunk1 said:
So even though they said you have to wait up to a month before trying to conceive you decided to continue having unprotected sex?

I'd say that's trying for a baby.
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Are we here to judge or to offer advice ?

I don't particularly wish to know the ins and outs of Dave1983's sex life. The fact remains that there is a little Dave or Davette on the way and it isn't our business to ask why.
 
Already some excellent advice given in this thread. Don't buy new stuff, ebay and secondhand it. We're going to try for a baby next year and my fiance is already picking up dirt cheap toys, secondhand clothes in neutral colours (to compensate for the obvious unknown gender of the baby). Anyway, do no underestimate the help you'll most likely get from friends and family.

My brother and his wife is expecting their first child in November and I have already set aside a small amount of money to give to them to help out. It's laughable really as he is loaded, but somehow feel it's my duty as part of the family to help out, even if not needed. I'll most likely get the same help back.

Oh, and start looking around for cheap cots and buggy's, the price are insane.
 
Von Smallhausen said:
I was lucky with little Von. After 3 months he was sleeping about 8 hours right through at least without a feed and he is not a whingy kid. Up to three months, he was wanting a feed a 2-3 times a night max.
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This is pretty much what we had. Up until he started sleeping through I'd tend to stay up late while the other half went to be early, he'd normally have a feed about midnight then I'd take him up and the missus would do the rest of the night. As we have a spare room I'd often sleep in there if I had to be up work early the next day.

But as with you he's sleeping through since about 2-3 months old, he's now just over 7 months.

Not sure where you live OP, but we got a brand new iCandy buggy/carrycot set from Blackbushe market for around half the price of the shops, I think they were seconds without proper boxes or something. He was selling a lot of cool stuff cheap.
 
I have a boy due in 4 weeks but unfortunately my missus insists on everything being brand new. The futuristic looking pram/push chair with Maxi Cozi car seat has cost me £650! Had to get this particular one as its the only one that fits in the new ford focus. Good job I lost interest in upgrading pc's a few years back!

To be honest I am not bothered about the cost as I just want her to be as happy as possible when it comes to looking after the little one. I am well excited now!

Here's a pic of the pushchair, with it racing like seat:

quinny-3-wheeler-buggy.jpg


Congratulations to everyone who gone through this!
 
peterattheboro said:
That's a Quinny? :p
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Yes, and it's the best pushchair in the Universe! :D

We've just bought one for our new arrival (due 27th September!), after significant research on my part! :)

I bought the Buzz 4 dual wheel front fork (which replaces the front double wheel you see above with a T shaped fork with a single wheel on either side - more stable for sure), which transforms the Buzz 3 into a Buzz 4 (the only difference is the front wheel configuration) for a fraction of the price! :D

Buy the Buzz 3 from Babies R' Us for a huge saving - then buy the Buzz 4 front fork from kiddicare.com :)

Just had a browse actually. So what you need is this:

http://www.toysrus.co.uk/Babies-R-U...lers/Quinny-Buzz-3-Pushchair-in-Black(0073518)

&

http://www.toysrus.co.uk/Babies-R-U...abrioFix-Car-Seat-in-Black-Reflection(0025683)

&

http://www.kiddicare.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/productdisplayA_0_10751_-1__103549_10001_

= A lot less than the £650 the lad above spent! :) x
 
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dave1983 said:
Wow £650 that's pretty expensive.
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Also pretty unecessary. We did the whole "travel system" and ended up using it only for a few weeks as they tend to be a bit on the cumbersome side. In the end we used a £20 lightweight folding pushchair much, much more.
 
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