How do I keep my pears just right?

I keep my pears right by wearing boxers instead of Y fronts. They don't sweat as much and my pears have the freedom they need to move around.
 
Keep them room temp with some bananas nearby. If you put pears in the fridge they don't ripen properly. The 'nanas seem to make other fruit ripen quicker.

Basically keep an eye on them and eat them quickly when they are good.
 
Keep them near bananas, as bananas give off methane which tends to soften/ripen other fruit. My mind of useless information.
Edit: Beaten to it.
 
This thread sums up the internet:

Questions
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and a couple of serious answers.
 
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