How do you feel about breaks in a relationship?

Captain · 20 Mar 2012 at 17:19

Could/would you get back with your partner if anything were to happen with someone else during said break?

I know they would be single at the time, but would you feel comfortable knowing they had been with someone else?

antijoke · 20 Mar 2012 at 17:19

WE WERE ON A BREAK!

Calgar117 · 20 Mar 2012 at 17:21

In my narrowminded opinion a break is a strong hint of a relationship deteriorating and that said ''break'' normally indicates one thing, the other half wants to bonk someone else.

Calgar117 · 20 Mar 2012 at 17:21

double post failure

St0rmer66 · 20 Mar 2012 at 17:21

Probably not. I'd see it as a sign that they'd moved on and go do the same. The whole point of a break is that you're having some time apart but still with the intention of getting back together, therefore it's still "cheating" in my eyes... otherwise why say "break" when you mean "break up"?

Marky · 20 Mar 2012 at 17:21

No I wouldn't feel comfortable and I think if we had to go on a break in the first place, the relationship may as well be over

Minxy · 20 Mar 2012 at 17:22

If you need a break then your relationship is pretty much at it's end in my view. I definitely wouldn't feel comfortable having someone back if they had been elsewhere and if you're capable of looking elsewhere then you're clearly not that bothered about the person you are having a break from.

St0rmer66 · 20 Mar 2012 at 17:22

Marky said:
I think if we had to go on a break in the first place, the relationship may as well be over

Also this, speaking from experience.

Zefan · 20 Mar 2012 at 17:24

A "break" isn't being single. Having a "break" is exactly that, time apart from each other because you're getting too intense and totally plan to get back together afterwards because you expect it to have let things calm down a bit to a normal and workable level.

Captain · 20 Mar 2012 at 17:24

How far would they have to go for you not to get back with them?

For me it would be anything after a kiss, anything past that i just couldnt forget.

Jono · 20 Mar 2012 at 17:26

break = terminal.

St0rmer66 · 20 Mar 2012 at 17:26

Clov!s said:
How far would they have to go for you not to get back with them?

For me it would be anything after a kiss, anything past that i just couldnt forget.

Even a kiss would need some apologising for me. Anything more would be unforgivable. If she was going to do that kind of stuff she should have broken up completely with me, not gone on a break and I would pay them the same courtesy if roles were reversed.

semi-pro waster · 20 Mar 2012 at 17:26

Wouldn't it depend on how you defined the break? If it was just a break to "clear your head" for instance then it might be legitimately expected that there's not going to be another party involved, if it's a complete break (up) while both parties try to find what makes them happy then maybe it's less clear-cut and it should be no real surprise if one or both of them in the relationship gets together with someone else.

Any which way from looking at the relationships of friends when the words "let's have a break" are uttered then even if they get back together the relationship tends to be on borrowed time. That's not to say that it can't work for some people but I suspect for many it is merely putting off the inevitable final split.

Spenty · 20 Mar 2012 at 17:28

Past experiences have showed me breaks can work. I bonked someone else and so did she then we got back together for a few years, then it sort of fizzled out.

B@Th*nG · 20 Mar 2012 at 17:29

it's over buddy, move on

B@

teaboy5 · 20 Mar 2012 at 17:29

When someone says they want a break. I think it normally means that they have found someone else and will test the waters (by being around them, heading out with them etc etc) and if they think it will work out the relationship is over with the person they took a break from.

So as everyone else says a break normally means the end of the current relationship.

Musty Pie · 20 Mar 2012 at 17:32

anticonscience said:
WE WERE ON A BREAK!

Thread ender right there.

Captain · 20 Mar 2012 at 17:33

Ok cheers guys.

I was talking to my girlfriend lastnight and she said that she wanted to break up, so we did.

This morning i get a phonecall from her saying that maybe things can work out after a few weeks of having some time to ourselves, and she said that nothing would happen with another person, but if it was, that she doesnt want me to hate her.

Now i just cant get my head around it, to me that seems like a break but we really have broken up "/

Spenty · 20 Mar 2012 at 17:38

Clov!s said:
Ok cheers guys.

I was talking to my girlfriend lastnight and she said that she wanted to break up, so we did.

This morning i get a phonecall from her saying that maybe things can work out after a few weeks of having some time to ourselves, and she said that nothing would happen with another person, but if it was, that she doesnt want me to hate her.

Now i just cant get my head around it, to me that seems like a break but we really have broken up "/

That sounds like something is going to happen with her and someone else but she wants you to be fine about it lol. Take tomorrow off work dude and hit the town in your best dress.

St0rmer66 · 20 Mar 2012 at 17:39

Clov!s said:
Ok cheers guys.

I was talking to my girlfriend lastnight and she said that she wanted to break up, so we did.

This morning i get a phonecall from her saying that maybe things can work out after a few weeks of having some time to ourselves, and she said that nothing would happen with another person, but if it was, that she doesnt want me to hate her.

Now i just cant get my head around it, to me that seems like a break but we really have broken up "/

If she's saying things like that then it's as good as over. She wants the chance of getting with someone else without having to give you up as her "back up plan". Don't let her have her cake AND eat it. Be the stronger one and say you don't want a break, you want to break up if she's having those kind of thoughts. It may hurt you on the inside (which is perfectly ok) but appear strong on the outside to her (then go home and cry if you have to!). Don't be mean, don't hate her, just end it amicably but showing yourself as being the strong one, you'll feel so much better about it in the long run.