how do you guys do it?

Abraxaz1

Abraxaz1

Abraxaz1

Soldato
Joined
7 Jun 2009
Posts
2,659
Location
No where
I know that OCUK has a strict anti-medical advice rule, with good reason but I don't honestly feel this is a medical question and has more to do with perspective, anyway if it breeches the rules and regulations please feel free to delete.

OK, I'm not trying to get sympathy or attention, I'm sure there are others with worse previous history and TBH I don't want to talk about and you guys probably don't want to here it.
Anyway to cut a long story short I haven't exactly had a smooth ride to my current location and have had to pick myself from some crappy places.

My problem is every time I raise myself from one crappy place to where I want to be something or someone cuts me back down and I end up further in the primordial effluent than before. I suppose if I was to sum it up I’ve noticed that I have just started not to care any more, I've fallen out of contact with my best mates and seem to have retreated further and further from society, I can't remember the last conversation I had with someone out side off work, I don't want to become one of these social loners but nothing I do seems to be working, I joined the local gym but it just seems that I’m merely passing time, The only team based sports that seem to exist is rugby or football and I'm no where near big enough to play rugby and I'm crap at football....

So anyone got any suggestions on how to change me perspective and also on how to make friends in the local area, as I'm sick of spending my afternoons staring at a computer screen wishing I had someone to talk to.
 
stick to the gym. you wont see results immediatley but you will, if you stick at it. once you start seeing results, you will feel more enthusiatic about it and confident. then go out and get laid.
 
Im a bit of a midget but I seem to get by in rugby :)

Easy way to go to a social, buy a bmw or a focus st or something and go to an owners club meet :)

Take up an evening class in something.....
 
You remind me of myself from sometime ago and these ups and downs you have well just expect it, this is the way it is for some.

You should get in touch with your friends again through them you will mak new friends. Is there a particular interest you have?
 
It's times like these you need to listen to Pink Floyd's album - The Wall. Or watch the film.

That advice might not be good :p
 
Or instead of staring in front of a computer, why don't you learn a new skill, I learn't how to play guitar whne I was going through what you are now I really enjoyed it and now I play live in front of a crowd and well I meet all kinds of nice people.
 
1. Decide that you're not really content with how your life is and you want to improve it.

2. Determine which hobbies or pastimes you'd enjoy. You don't need to already be good at it, in fact learning how to become better can be equally rewarding.

3. Mix things up. Join a gym or a chess club or take some courses in photography or music or computer programming or ... you get the idea.

4. Get out of your comfort zone. Go for a run or a walk when you'd normally waste away an afternoon staring at a screen. Spend a day in a different town or city doing something you wouldn't normally do.

5. Grow your circle of friends. Join groups - real ones where you meet real people, not internet nonsense. Get back in contact with your mates and be the organiser for drinks at the pub or a game of footie or whatever.

6. Be awesome.


There, 6 steps and you're sorted. You're welcome.
 
Zefan said:
It's times like these you need to listen to Pink Floyd's album - The Wall. Or watch the film.

That advice might not be good :p
Click to expand...

I can't think of a situation where watching the film can ever be considered a sensible idea... :p Last time I tried it was a very late night out and we all ended up screaming TURN IT OFF after a min or two...

For the OP just don't be that drunk guy who sits in pubs talking to anyone. Usually terrifies more than helps
 
Zefan said:
It's times like these you need to listen to Pink Floyd's album - The Wall. Or watch the film.

That advice might not be good :p
Click to expand...

Ha, as much as I love Pink Floyd its the not the greatest album to listen to while feeling low.

To the OP, we all have our ups and downs you just have to work through them.
Try to find a new interest, I was feeling a bit low last year as I had been stuck in the same job going nowhere for a while. Since leaving and starting a college course I'm a lot happier in myself.

If the new interest has a social element (some form of club, doesn't have to be physical - Photography etc) then all the better.

Just don't be a downer around new people, be aware of your mood and force yourself to be upbeat (at least until you go home) :o
 
Mickie said:
wow, heavy..

you're the perfect catch for some girl
Click to expand...
I've tried, I never seem to get far to put it bluntly most women nothing me:( and the girl I actually like is dating a guy much better for her than me, hes everything I should have been, got to admit its probally the main reason for this latest episode but he makes her happy, so I should be happy right?

Hyburnate said:
Get in touch with some old mates. Go out and enjoy yourself ;)
Click to expand...
been trying this but everyone seems to busy, planning on driving up to Aberdeen/Glasgow and visiting them when my holidays renew.


Anyway I'll give it a go, btw the too small to play rugby inst about height, I'm 6"3 just not exactly muscular, all the guys around here playing are roid heads, id be slaughtered :(
 
Last edited:
Contact some old friends? Arrange a night out with the work? Get to know your colleagues and become more personal with them.
 
Last edited:
Clearly better than you :)

That could be taken a bit harsh, so hopefully it's seen as a joke :)

No, I don't know, I mean everyone has their down days, and I always considered myself slightly socially reclusive, despite the fact that I'm remarkably chatty. I can't be bothered to have a decent friendship with more than about 2 people at a time.

Predominantly - one of the guys I'm at uni with, and my gf, are the people I talk to most, but I go home in the holidays and catch up with school mates - we get together once, despite the fact I probably never spoke to them during uni term time. One guy organises it, and we all go along...

If you want more gym experience, talk to the guys in Sports Arena - solid advice in there.

As above though, go to the pub with work mates maybe?

kd
 
Dealing with other people is hard work. I'm one of those "social loners" you mentioned :p

You never stop caring entirely, but you do numb your emotions over time. Stop feeling sad, stop feeling alone, just don't really feel anything. Then you have occasional days where you suddenly look at your life and wonder if it's worth carrying on. But you do anyhow.

Eventually you resign yourself to the fact that you're older than everyone else who has these social problems, and you figure your time has run out. But it's OK, because you don't feel sad, except for those couple days a year when it all hits you and you want to jump off a cliff.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom