how do you guys do it?

I find what helps when you're depressed is to write it down on paper. Where are you at the moment? Whats your situation? Then, where do you want to be. What are the first steps you can take to get there. Do those. Break it down into smaller steps so you can see you're making improvements and not standing still/going backwards.

Works for anything. I wrote a load of stuff down a few years ago and even though I feel my life hasnt gone anywhere reading back it astounds me how much things have really changed (for the better).
 
[FnG]magnolia;20993711 said:
1. Decide that you're not really content with how your life is and you want to improve it.

2. Determine which hobbies or pastimes you'd enjoy. You don't need to already be good at it, in fact learning how to become better can be equally rewarding.

3. Mix things up. Join a gym or a chess club or take some courses in photography or music or computer programming or ... you get the idea.

4. Get out of your comfort zone. Go for a run or a walk when you'd normally waste away an afternoon staring at a screen. Spend a day in a different town or city doing something you wouldn't normally do.

5. Grow your circle of friends. Join groups - real ones where you meet real people, not internet nonsense. Get back in contact with your mates and be the organiser for drinks at the pub or a game of footie or whatever.

6. Be awesome.


There, 6 steps and you're sorted. You're welcome.
Click to expand...


Awesome indeed
 
[FnG]magnolia;20995182 said:
GET A NICE GF YOU DONT NEED YOUR OWN FRIENDS OR INTERESTS/

SOCIAL CRAP.

It'd be funny if it weren't so tragic.
Click to expand...

PianoBasher said:
As Magnolia says, this is awful advice. I bet you're one of those selfish tools who dumps all of his mates when they have a girlfriend, but come back crying like a child when it all goes wrong and then expect to carry on as if nothing ever happened. :rolleyes:
Click to expand...

Whoa, some haters in this thread. Your periods have all synchronised I take it?

What I said I still believe to be true. He has lost contact with his mates probably because either they have moved on with their lives and left him behind, or deep down he doesn't really want them as friends anymore.

A girlfriend is a potential life partner who if everything goes well could turn into a wife and kids. This is the real day to day stuff. You're not gonna move in and live your day to day life with your best mate and his wife/kids are you? That is why I suggest looking after yourself and getting a girlfriend.
 
grimm said:
Whoa, some haters in this thread. Your periods have all synchronised I take it?
Click to expand...

Not hate, just frustration because I see it happen so often. What you're suggesting is putting all your eggs in one basket and I honestly think it's unhealthy to not have your own social circle and social life outside of a relationship. It potentially leads to feelings of clautrophobia and frustration.

You only get a handful of real friends in life so I do my damned best to hang on to them all. I know that when the **** hits the fan, they're there for me whereas a girlfriend could suddenly decide to leg it. ;)

I've had a girlfriend who didn't really have any of her own friends. It just made her needy, dependent and a bit annoying tbh - she'd constantly pester me to come home when I was out with mates trying to have a good time. Having your own lives and space is important IMO. :/
 
cm1179 said:
stick to the gym. you wont see results immediatley but you will, if you stick at it. once you start seeing results, you will feel more enthusiatic about it and confident. then go out and get laid.
Click to expand...

Yes.

Then we shall rejoyce!
 
PianoBasher said:
You only get a handful of real friends in life so I do my damned best to hang on to them all. I know that when the **** hits the fan, they're there for me whereas a girlfriend could suddenly decide to leg it. ;)
Click to expand...

You are right and wrong there. Real friends are great, but you shouldn't have to work at them. A real friend is someone who no matter how often you see them, they will still be the same. I have friends who I only see once per year because of location and circumstances etc. but when we catch up it's just like old times.

From the OP it just sounds like he can't be bothered with his old friends, or they have just left him behind. If he were to find new mates then the cycle will probably just repeat and he'll be in the same situation in a few years.

It's difficult to tell the exact situation from the OP though.
 
There had to be a girl didn't there.

Either be much better than him and win the game or be more awesome get with another girl and win the game.

So yes, suck less and be better. You can do it!
 
Do you drive?

Take up a different hobby and join a club associated with it. A lot of hobbies have an active club and social side.

There are plenty of good sports clubs around Cardiff..... some involving getting fit. Most sports clubs contain a good bunch of lads.....

How old are you btw?


For example - You ever thought Fishing? - A great sport for someone who is ok with their own comfortable and opens a lot of doors with regards clubs. Most people there are also very patient.

Bridgend is fairly miserable... you ever thought of a move to somewhere a little more involving?


As others mention - its up to you to make the difference. Only you can get out there, try, get your value up and being the person you want to be.
 
get a lodger?

try couchsurfing?

im a loner by nature as i dont like most people but once you get a core circle of friends (ppl you can stand) you get introduced to their friends and then friends of their friends etc you get the picture pretty soon you are going out drinking all the time and that is when the women turn up. I've met loads of ppl on couchsurfing nights. Its hard work maintaining a large circle of friends tho tbh so i'd start small and see how you do.
 
piggeh said:
I find what helps when you're depressed is to write it down on paper. Where are you at the moment? Whats your situation? Then, where do you want to be. What are the first steps you can take to get there. Do those. Break it down into smaller steps so you can see you're making improvements and not standing still/going backwards.

Works for anything. I wrote a load of stuff down a few years ago and even though I feel my life hasnt gone anywhere reading back it astounds me how much things have really changed (for the better).
Click to expand...

Good advice here. Think I'll try and do the same thing :)

Actually just thought of something... a friend a few months ago recommended a site called mood gym. I think its a little bit like the above. It asks questions to try and work out your current view on things then through each section it explains how to get back onto the right track. (If I remember correctly.)
 
Last edited:
Followed a bit of the advice

OK so I followed the advice on here of getting back in contact with my friends, so I sent a generic text asking everyone if they wanted to meet up. Within the hour the friend I consider to be my best friend phoned and we got talking about life, work, family etc. 30 minutes later we'd decide to complete a meet between the four of use and a possible lads holiday over the summer. Never thought that a simple phone call could have such a massively change out an outlook, I was literally buzzing as I went to the gym.
For those asking my age and circumstances, I'm 23 years old and an apprentice, I currently live with my mum, I know a 23 year old with his parents = sad but the wages sort of limit my options. I have looked at sites like spareroom for a flat share in Swansea, which will allow me to be nearer to a lot more amenities and a larger selection of people.

I tried the mind mapping/ questions thingy at lunch and I have to say I like it, I've always been one for a breaking down tasks in work into steps and stages, I would have worked on it tonight but I may have fallen asleep on the sofa, suppose work drained more than I thought.

I'm surprised by the number and types of response to this and would like to thank everyone for each piece of advise.
 
Abraxaz1 said:
I know that OCUK has a strict anti-medical advice rule, with good reason but I don't honestly feel this is a medical question and has more to do with perspective, anyway if it breeches the rules and regulations please feel free to delete.

OK, I'm not trying to get sympathy or attention, I'm sure there are others with worse previous history and TBH I don't want to talk about and you guys probably don't want to here it.
Anyway to cut a long story short I haven't exactly had a smooth ride to my current location and have had to pick myself from some crappy places.

My problem is every time I raise myself from one crappy place to where I want to be something or someone cuts me back down and I end up further in the primordial effluent than before. I suppose if I was to sum it up I’ve noticed that I have just started not to care any more, I've fallen out of contact with my best mates and seem to have retreated further and further from society, I can't remember the last conversation I had with someone out side off work, I don't want to become one of these social loners but nothing I do seems to be working, I joined the local gym but it just seems that I’m merely passing time, The only team based sports that seem to exist is rugby or football and I'm no where near big enough to play rugby and I'm crap at football....

So anyone got any suggestions on how to change me perspective and also on how to make friends in the local area, as I'm sick of spending my afternoons staring at a computer screen wishing I had someone to talk to.
Click to expand...

I fully understand dude. I myself am fortunatly just exiting (I hope) from the long tunnel it sounds you are currently traveling down.

Rather than sit on my bum, I am now motivated to do the things I let slip away. I have to admit, my biggest source for motivation is woman. No attention, I slip in to despair, a little sweetness and then Im motivated to better myself.

Get your self in the gym, if your fat, lose some weight, if your skinny, build some muscle etc....

Go out on a Friday, Saturday night. If you struggle talking to girls like me practice makes perfect.

Its cliched but its all about a positive mental attitude. The more you have of it, hyperthetically the more likely you are to meet your targets, and the more PMA you have to continue.

Find something that motivates you. For me its Woman. I could move mountains for a girl.

Oh yes and defo get back in contact wioth mates. No man can live alone. We are social animals. Life is no fun on your own!!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom