How do you react after an argument with your partner?

Minxy

Minxy

Minxy

Soldato
Joined
18 Oct 2002
Posts
5,280
I ask the question because I've had a huge falling out with my boyfriend this evening and where as I am the type to hang around and try to face up to things and work through issues, he likes to walk out, disappear to a mates and then think its ok to ignore me for a time period of his choice whether it be a few hours or overnight. Apparently this time round he is unlikely to come home all weekend. Unfortunately (thats how I feel) we own a house between us and so at some point he'll have to turn back into an adult and come back to his reponsibilities.

So....how do you deal with arguments? Is it easier to walk away then stand and talk?
 
Punch to the ovaries!

Depends how heated it gets, if its no need to get heated I am one for wanting to talk things through.

Other times I can't stand going through an arguement and go a drive till i chill out and go back and talk it over as I don't like to shout and know I will sometimes if I just don't leave. Altough this has only ever happened to me two or three times.
 
When I was attached, I used to walk away, come back later, we'd mutually apologise and have sex.

Turns out was only a short-term solution, though. So maybe post #2 is better.
 
Sometimes people feel the need to remove themselves from a situation; it could be through fear of saying or doing something stupid or a need to re-group and gather their thoughts. It's not wrong, it's just an option.

Others have to see the argument or discussion through until completion. It's just as valid and can just as equally work well or work badly.

I lose my temper with my wife rarely and it's even more rare that I feel the need to go out and remove myself from the discussion. But I have done it and sometimes it's the best thing you can do at the time. Maybe not the right thing or the clever, adult thing but somehow the best thing. I suppose it depends on what's being discussed and who's discussing it.

To go away for the whole weekend, however, is ramping things up into a territory that I can't give you advice on. Trust it works out well for you :)
 
Never argue with current b/f. We always talk about stuff.
My last **** of a b/f was a pain thou. I would always want to walk out the room so I could calm down but he would block the door. Made me worse and the arguements always got much worse. So in the end I just started agreeing with everything as there was no way around it.
People react in different ways.
I hope it wasn't too bad and all gets sorted for you both.
 
My GF actually likes me to get lost so she can have time alone. I like to stay and sort it out, but shes like "LEAVE ME ALONE OR ELSE". Im only talking things over.

I've learnt to just give her space now. I think he is the same, he needs time out to cool down before he is ready to talk.

A whole weekend is a a lot tho when your living together.
 
as some have said above depends how heated the argument gets. If its just a little tiff I'll stay and talk it out. otherwise if its really bad, I'll walk off and calm down first.

I'm sure it will all be fine though.
 
I suppose I should have been more honest in my original post but I'm trying to look for advice opposed to sympathy. I believe he has gone for the whole weekend because he no longer wants our relationship, this was all laid out for me in a text message rather than telling me to my face which I would have appreciated far more. A text of that nature somehow seems heartless and makes it look like it meant nothing.

I don't know if the friend is male or female, I suspect it to be one of his male friends who he is currently on a 9 month course with.

I was upset to start with, then I got angry and now I just feel numb. Trying to refrain from winding myself up over it. It was very heated by the way.

If I am honest, I just feel stupid. I posted on here because I dont really have anyone else to tell. I moved nearly 2 years ago away from home to be with this guy. I can count the number of people I know in Sussex on one hand and now I feel like a mug for leaving everything I knew and loved for the first 25 yearsof my life for someone who doesn't really want to be with me.
 
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KittensCake said:
*POW* RIGHT IN THE KISSER
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Minxy said:
I suppose I should have been more honest in my original post but I'm trying to look for advice opposed to sympathy. I believe he has gone for the whole weekend because he no longer wants our relationship, this was all laid out for me in a text message rather than telling me to my face which I would have appreciated far more. A text of that nature somehow seems heartless and makes it look like it meant nothing.

I don't know if the friend is male or female, I suspect it to be one of his male friends who he is currently on a 9 month course with.

I was upset to start with, then I got angry and now I just feel numb. Trying to refrain from winding myself up over it. It was very heated by the way.
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He owes it to you to sit down and talk face to face.
 
Minxy said:
I suppose I should have been more honest in my original post but I'm trying to look for advice opposed to sympathy. I believe he has gone for the whole weekend because he no longer wants our relationship, this was all laid out for me in a text message rather than telling me to my face which I would have appreciated far more. A text of that nature somehow seems heartless and makes it look like it meant nothing.

I don't know if the friend is male or female, I suspect it to be one of his male friends who he is currently on a 9 month course with.

I was upset to start with, then I got angry and now I just feel numb. Trying to refrain from winding myself up over it. It was very heated by the way.
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i'm sorry to hear that. My ex started to dump me over MSN (how nice!) so I called and we had a massive row. In the end we did split up but ours is most likely for completely different reasons to yours. I would say best thing to do is give him space to calm down and think. Obviously he needs to speak with you face to face about it all but if things got heated it might be ideal to let it calm down first.Otherwise the wrong things could be said.
 
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I usually sneak into the same room with an elastic band and a pouch of marbles.

When she is not looking i'll flick a marble at her, and hide. This continues until she gets really angry and then i chase her with a mask on, naked.

Then we have sex, and afterwards i take the mask off and tell her who i am.
 
Minxy said:
I suppose I should have been more honest in my original post but I'm trying to look for advice opposed to sympathy. I believe he has gone for the whole weekend because he no longer wants our relationship, this was all laid out for me in a text message rather than telling me to my face which I would have appreciated far more. A text of that nature somehow seems heartless and makes it look like it meant nothing.

I don't know if the friend is male or female, I suspect it to be one of his male friends who he is currently on a 9 month course with.

I was upset to start with, then I got angry and now I just feel numb. Trying to refrain from winding myself up over it. It was very heated by the way.

If I am honest, I just feel stupid. I posted on here because I dont really have anyone else to tell. I moved nearly 2 years ago away from home to be with this guy. I can count the number of people I know in Sussex on one hand and now I feel like a mug for leaving everything I knew and loved for the first 25 yearsof my life for someone who doesn't really want to be with me.
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That is crap.

It should never be done via a text, or even a phone call. Is he constantly texting you or is he not texting back?

He needs to talk to you, and if he is not prepared to do so well hes a prat.
 
Begbie said:
That is crap.

It should never be done via a text, or even a phone call. Is he constantly texting you or is he not texting back?

He needs to talk to you, and if he is not prepared to do so well hes a prat.
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He texted back for a bit and now its all gone quiet. I guess he's probably out with friend getting drunk or something. I've given up chasing him for tonight.
 
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