How do you react after an argument with your partner?

I'm in a strange situation at the mo - I "split" up with my girlfriend of 4yrs like 4 months ago, yet we still call each other as often as before, and still visit each others houses as often as before (like 5 days a week). I'm constantly getting texts telling me how bad I'm acting towards her & we have so many arguments but something weird keeps bringing us back to talk to and see each other.

Thing is... any time we argue I always, always make an excuse to meet up with her - be it to collect something I've left in her house, or she has left in mine.

Sorry to hijack your thread OP but what does everyone think of this situation?
 
SteveB_NI said:
Sorry to hijack your thread OP but what does everyone think of this situation?
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If you argue now it will be a 1000x worse if you move in together and really start to argue about real things.
The main things people argue about is lack of money & lack of trust.
I'm lucky because neither have impacted on my life.
 
SteveB_NI said:
I'm in a strange situation at the mo - I "split" up with my girlfriend of 4yrs like 4 months ago, yet we still call each other as often as before, and still visit each others houses as often as before (like 5 days a week). I'm constantly getting texts telling me how bad I'm acting towards her & we have so many arguments but something weird keeps bringing us back to talk to and see each other.

Thing is... any time we argue I always, always make an excuse to meet up with her - be it to collect something I've left in her house, or she has left in mine.

Sorry to hijack your thread OP but what does everyone think of this situation?
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Stop thinking with your pecker, its not really fair on her playing her along for 4 months because you like to pop around for a wrestle all the time.

Im back at my mams at the minute and im desperate to pop up to my ex/kinda ex/not sure lasses house for a bit of action.. but im keeping sensible about the situation!
 
I tend not to have 'arguments' in the way most do. Normally discussions ranging from why the Beatles are pap to which spec is better :rolleyes:

I agree with dmpoole here: life is too short. However, if something does upset me which is unusual then I have to be alone. No ifs no buts.

I go somewhere by myself with my ipod and have a zoot. That is my way.

OP:

To take it from his side I'd say just leave him be. Dont bother with texts or the showing how much you care aspect as you'll end up arguing more, being nastier and probably putting him off more. I sympathise with your situation though and it takes a very cool head to not blow up.

Ignore him, don't text him, don't call him. He will come back. When he does ask him if he had a nice time. Avoid a show down. Then in bed ask him if everything is ok.
 
I just don't lose them simple. Women argue by constantly dodging the point or trying to shift the blame onto the bloke, but if you stay calm and construct a watertight argument they will get confused and come back with your victory signal 'O JUST **** OFF'

:D:D

EDIT: the op is a girl. hehe
 
Dunno really, not really had a proper one.

But my general solution, is to blame it on myself, even if it wasn't (or I try to). Usually makes them act more mature, and often realise it was them, as they calm down and begin to see rationally.

However, I can just start arguing :p
 
Thank you to everyone who has posted in this thread. It's been good to get other peoples point of view.

He's home but isn't sure what he wants. My parents have been and gone so I'm trying to chill out in front of a James Bond movie now. He's locked himself away to do some coursework. Anything to avoid actually talking to me. :(
 
Minxy said:
I ask the question because I've had a huge falling out with my boyfriend this evening and where as I am the type to hang around and try to face up to things and work through issues, he likes to walk out, disappear to a mates and then think its ok to ignore me for a time period of his choice whether it be a few hours or overnight. Apparently this time round he is unlikely to come home all weekend. Unfortunately (thats how I feel) we own a house between us and so at some point he'll have to turn back into an adult and come back to his reponsibilities.

So....how do you deal with arguments? Is it easier to walk away then stand and talk?
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Responsibilities? Does he have kids? If not then surely there's no point in him being home and he should be able to go out when he wants to?

I have the same problem with my parents, started going out a bit and only thing I hear is whining and phonecalls to come home, they should make up their bloody mind as when I sticked home all day they told me to get out...

Anyways, I just tend to ignore my parents, just a year and I'll be able to move out if they annoy me too much, I hate being commanded and want to do whatever I want, I have no responsibility's except school and work in the future so I See no point why they are trying to keep me home.
 
snowdog said:
Responsibilities? Does he have kids? If not then surely there's no point in him being home and he should be able to go out when he wants to?

I have the same problem with my parents, started going out a bit and only thing I hear is whining and phonecalls to come home, they should make up their bloody mind as when I sticked home all day they told me to get out...
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The difference is that I am not his Mum, I'm his girlfriend. We made a commitment to each other when we bought a house together therefore we have responsibilites to each other and to our home. A mortgage is as binding as a Wedding certificate these days.

It isn't about trying to stop him going out, it's about trying to resolve our differences.
 
Minxy said:
The difference is that I am not his Mum, I'm his girlfriend. We made a commitment to each other when we bought a house together therefore we have responsibilites to each other and to our home.

It isn't about trying to stop him going out, it's about trying to resolve our differences.
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if hes so fed up of your relationship then get rid of him, sadly it sounds like he doesnt give a hoot about you

what was the argument about that caused him to storm off?
 
Minxy said:
We made a commitment to each other when we bought a house together therefore we have responsibilites to each other and to our home.
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Like what?

Sorry to sound like an idiot, but I'm a complete noob when it comes to relationships and living together :).
 
snowdog said:
Like what?

Sorry to sound like an idiot, but I'm a complete noob when it comes to relationships and living together :).
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I see living together and owning a property together little different from being married. We made a commitment to each other by offering to share each others lives. Never mind the fact that we have financial obligations.

Maybe that's just me.
 
I insist on talking (er, often shouting) it out but the wife is a walker-away type and that gets me real mad when she does that. Kind of to the point where I need to smash things up.

Thankfully we don't argue that much!
 
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