How to overcome a fear of heights - Help/advice

Lumeycom

Lumeycom

Lumeycom

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S Wales
(Note - I contacted a mod beforehand as this may grey the area of medical advice, so long as medication etc isn't mentioned its all good)


TL:DR - Had a nasty fall, got lucky, can't do heights now.


So I have a fear of heights that can be a little specific. Its preventing me doing some things I quite like the idea of (Zip line in north wales for example).


Background -

I've always had a healthy respect for heights but never really had a big problem with them until I had a very close call with a near fall. Totally my own fault for rushing/being daft I nearly fell around 10metres onto a concrete floor from the top of an extension ladder. Instead I fell about 2 metres and landed on a piece of timber studwork across my lower chest. Resulted in many broken ribs and a seperated sternum but far less than if I'd fallen the whole way to the concrete. I was left dangling off this timber for what felt like an eternity actually clinging for my life until some co workers were able to get the ladder close enough and safe enough for me to get down. Since that day, around 8 years ago, I have an incredibly bad reaction to heights.


Things I'm ok with height wise -

Recently built a block garage and I was totally fine clambering all over trestles, fitting joists and then walking on them whilst getting the roofing sheets on. Height around 3metres.

Climbing stairs to and walking on top of big oil storage tanks. These are around 15 to 20 metres in height. open tread steps so you can see through. Handrails and meshing so you can't slip out if you fall.

Repairing ridge tiles on a single story extension. Extension ladder and roof ladder used, probably about 4 metres to the ridge?


Things I've had a bad reaction to height wise -

Went on a cruise in 2019 on Anthem of the Seas. They have a glass capsule (think london eye but smaller) on a crane type thing that lifts above the deck of the ship etc. I tried it and failed. The moment the capsule began to lift I went into instant flight mode. I was pouring with sweat, very nauseous and dizzy to the point that I had to lie down on the floor (much to the amusement of the couple of kids that were in there!) Once it got to full height and stopped moving (aside from boat movement) I managed to stand up and force a smile for a photo but quickly returned to the floor. Height at full extension - 90 metres

Ski lift type seats on the isle of wight about 10 years ago, strapped into a seat etc but was borderline freaking out and losing control. Maybe 15 metres in height

Cable car across the thames from the O2. We were meant to go over and come back, had to get off the other side, puke in a bin and then get the tube back.




I used to love rollercoasters, now I am utterly filled with dread at the thought of them purely for the height. I managed to go on the main rollercoaster in Universal a couple of years back but I really didn't enjoy it one bit. If you weren't so utterly strapped in on the way up I think I'd have freaked out enough to get off somehow (impossible I know)





So basically I'm not sure what to do. I do try things as 'they say' to face your fears but its not getting any better. A load of my mates are going up to north wales to do the zip lines up there but I've declined as I know there is zero chance of me doing it. Especially given that there will be a choice of sorts to turn around when I get there. As much as I'd like to say I'd be ok and eventually do it, if I'm honest with myself I just wont.


Suggestions and advice most welcome!
 
I’m not afraid of heights.
I am however extremely clumsy and therefore I have a healthy fear of ladders and climbing in general.
Personally, I wouldn’t dwell on it.
Let your mates enjoy the zip line, you sit it out.
 
I've never thought fear of heights is fear of heights per se, but realisation of control. When in a situation where you are very high up, and in a precarious setting, you realise that [mostly] you have total control over whether you throw yourself off. It's realisation that you have total control over your own death just by making a very simple standard movement, which is the most terrifying.

With regard to other fears, I have more or less conquered my fear of flying short haul [4 hours or less]. This came about by doing two things: doing a lot of flights on benzos, and then reading up about certain things and watching videos of pilots flying planes or talking about flying, learning why certain things happen in flight [movements, noises etc]. Now all I need is a strong G&T and I'm fine. However, that said, I think that fear of heights is harder to conquer since each 'height' is different and there are a wide variety of different heights and precarious situations. Maybe you should focus on self-trust first and go from there.

The last time I had a problem with heights was going along a mountain road in Turkey two or three years ago. Some workman drove us to the summit of this mountain on thin dirt roads at speed, bouncing along casually in a jeep. I was pretty much terrified because I had no control of the situation and felt totally at the mercy of the mountain road, the car and the driver. So I really think these kinds of things are about control at their root.
 
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Lysander said:
I've never thought fear of heights is fear of heights per se, but realisation of control. When in a situation where you are very high up, and in a precarious setting, you realise that [mostly] you have total control over whether you throw yourself off. It's realisation that you have total control over your own death just by making a very simple standard movement, which is the most terrifying.
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Nope.

How do glass elevators make people terrified when they are solid. Or even just a elevator with one glass panel on one side.

Hotel room on the 30th floor cannot go near the solid windows which cannot be opened, etc.

Vertigo - makes you feel dizzy and the feeling of being thrown off and down.

It's a mental thing therefore different for everyone.
 
I also overcame a temporary and medically induced fear of heights due to having vertigo/labyrinthitis, an extremely nasty inner ear disorder, one of which symptoms are a sudden onset of fear of heights, hence being called vertigo. It can make the room feel like it's spinning all the time like the worst sickness you can get from being drunk. I even got scared on the barely 10 metre high aerial walkaway at Kew Gardens during that time of illness.

I fully recovered, but the height fear stayed for a couple more months, the physical fear is what fuels the mental, once sufficient time has passed from when your physical healing has happened, your confidence should return bit by bit, just take it in stages.

To be fair your fear is totally founded as you truly got badly hurt and messed up with those broken ribs and sternum, anyone who has even had bruised ribs knows painful that must be.

So your fear is tied into that, I'm sure you can overcome a heights issue again if if you try slowly in increments.

For inspiration read up on astronaut Al Shepard, the inspiration for Shepard in the Mass Effect games. He was grounded with meniere's disease and by rights shouldn't have been allowed to pilot a glider again let alone a space craft, yet that determined SOB got it fixed and later commanded a moon landing mission and walked on the moon at 46 years old.

You absolutely can conquer this temporary fear of heights you developed for quite understandable reasons.
 
I can't think of a cure as such. Your problem may be vertigo related, an inner ear problem and then it dies get medical so I won't prescribe solutions. As a young man working on sites, I used to be able to walk along quite narrow walls between parts of a job site (not recommended, pre health and safety awareness). I then suffered balance issues possibly an ear infection and for quite a while could not deal with heights. For the last twenty years I have trained myself to deal with some exposed conditions on Lakeland and Welsh mountains and have gained some ability however I have a more healthy regard for my safety than as a young site engineer.
 
Picking through your examples there’s a pattern there that in the instances where you are OK, you are in full control and can get down whenever you want. In the cases where you’ve reacted badly you’re being taken to heights by someone/thing else without the ability to directly control it yourself. Would that be a fair assessment and maybe something to work on?
 
Lumeycom said:
So I have a fear of heights that can be a little specific. Its preventing me doing some things I quite like the idea of (Zip line in north wales for example).
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Having done that zip line and thoroughly enjoyed it, you might want to skip it until you are more comfortable with heights.

To be attached, you have to lift your body into a position they can attach you. This is like a push up at full extent but be aware that you are looking down all the time this is happening. You are on the edge of the 'runway' platform so unless you close your eyes, your current fear will get the better of you.

They do a smaller run before you get to that one though which I found a little more uncomfortable as my arms weren't quite long enough to lift myself to the required height.
Good thing I've already had kids.
 
VR maybe? I don't like heights but it's manageable. Funnily enough, heights in video games make my legs feel more like jelly than in real life :o.
 
Have you ever told yourself yourself you're now scared of heights? I found that the more i spoke about it the worse it made me feel. Its almost like you are confirming and reinforcing you now have a problem with heights by saying those things to yourself. Funnily enough this pretty much works with everything. Try more positive thinking and reinforcement around it and that may help you win some of the battle. :)
 
kaiowas said:
Picking through your examples there’s a pattern there that in the instances where you are OK, you are in full control and can get down whenever you want. In the cases where you’ve reacted badly you’re being taken to heights by someone/thing else without the ability to directly control it yourself. Would that be a fair assessment and maybe something to work on?
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I'd say yes that is a reasonably fair assesment, perhaps a little bit of claustrophobia in the sense that I cannot get away from it. I'd never actually thought of that.

KiNgPiN83 said:
Have you ever told yourself yourself you're now scared of heights? I found that the more i spoke about it the worse it made me feel. Its almost like you are confirming and reinforcing you now have a problem with heights by saying those things to yourself. Funnily enough this pretty much works with everything. Try more positive thinking and reinforcement around it and that may help you win some of the battle. :)
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Honestly no, I was laid up for around 2 months after my near miss as the rib injury prevented me working. When I did go back I'd say it was another month until I had to go up a tall ladder again and I, initially, didn't give it a second thought. I remember vividly the feeling that came on half way up the ladder, it was very powerful indeed. I guess since then I've been reinforcing it a little in my head however I have tried pushing myself to no avail.


LeMson said:
try watching some climbing vids on youtube, eg. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yyjyuzcOZfU or https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kXGOS8nYcVU

Exposure is the way to go
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That is a massive struggle to watch. Feel physically nauseous watching those!
 
Bickaxe said:
Having done that zip line and thoroughly enjoyed it, you might want to skip it until you are more comfortable with heights.

To be attached, you have to lift your body into a position they can attach you. This is like a push up at full extent but be aware that you are looking down all the time this is happening. You are on the edge of the 'runway' platform so unless you close your eyes, your current fear will get the better of you.

They do a smaller run before you get to that one though which I found a little more uncomfortable as my arms weren't quite long enough to lift myself to the required height.
Good thing I've already had kids.
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Thats useful ino thankyou, doesn't sound like something I could pull off at the moment but something I'd like to work towards :)
 
I was always scared of heights and then I decided to join the fire service. After 11 years of climbing ladders, abseiling and working on rooftops I can categorically say that I am now still scared of heights. So I can't offer you any advice unfortunately.
 
I'd definitely recommend some sort of exposure therapy. A friend has severe anxiety and OCD (to the point that some of his triggers only allow him to travel a very specific route to work) and he's had great success with it.
 
Yeah exposure therapy is good for stuff you don't like.

On the other hand, I was never scared of heights growing up. I've never had a fall or anything. I did do a bit of quite extreme abseiling though and now I've found as an adult I really, really don't like heights if I don't have harness and rope. I get the same thing. Proper panic and sweats, can't go within 10ft of the edge of anything that has more than a few metres drop. Harness and rope and I'm fine.
 
You could try something like CBT, I had it for travel anxiety and it worked wonders for me. A lot of it is theory which you can of course do yourself via youtube videos, however having structured sessions you discuss how this theory relates to your particular case, and you'll have a phased approach to overcoming your fear. Little steps up to the big things that you currently can't do. Best of luck with it.
 
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