How would you feel

xraycat87 · 1 Nov 2017 at 12:42

Being taken way seriously.

Anyway guys, thank you for you feedback. Knowing I did the right thing will settle my nerves and I'll just move on

Casdawer · 1 Nov 2017 at 12:43

Bullet dodged!

Suck it up and move on!

Glanza · 1 Nov 2017 at 12:58

Lucky escape, red flag is the wanting you to move in after a month.

xraycat87 · 1 Nov 2017 at 16:51

Glanza said:
Lucky escape, red flag is the wanting you to move in after a month.

Yeah it would seem my judgement was clouded slightly before seeing sense. Moving on eh.

Arazi · 1 Nov 2017 at 18:17

xraycat87 said:
Yeah it would seem my judgement was clouded slightly before seeing sense. Moving on eh.

Make sure you have an alibi for the 5th, just incase her house burns down.

aardvark · 1 Nov 2017 at 18:58

yeah thats a lucky escape.

xraycat87 · 2 Nov 2017 at 12:09

Arazi said:
Make sure you have an alibi for the 5th, just incase her house burns down.

shes moved house anyway, she put a deposit down when we were going out lol... still feel rubbish but I feel a lot better after seeing what you guys think.

Hades · 2 Nov 2017 at 12:22

Rifte said:

Haha I just spat my coffee out

We only have what is written by the OP so it's hard to judge. But moving in, falling in love so quickly and then moving on to the next person so fast does leave the impression that she's just after a provider and a father figure for her child.

This is going to sound a little harsh as there are doubtless many great single parents out there. I may even be a single parent at some point. But if I ever met a single mother in the future I'd have to ask myself "Why isn't the father around? Does she scare them away or does she make bad decisions on who to have children with?". Clearly it's not a simple black and white issue but I'd certainly to try answer that question before moving in with her.

Dirk Diggler · 2 Nov 2017 at 12:23

xraycat87 said:
I figured enough is enough as it's not fun anymore and it felt as if I was more excited to see her daughter then her.

I'm not sure who's dodged the bullet TBF.

Hades · 2 Nov 2017 at 12:25

xraycat87 said:
I figured enough is enough as it's not fun anymore and it felt as if I was more excited to see her daughter then her.

Do you work in the film industry or are you a politician by any chance?

Arazi · 2 Nov 2017 at 12:27

String said:
I'm not sure who's dodged the bullet TBF.

lol

Deleted User 234324 · 2 Nov 2017 at 12:28

Some people just need others around and will say or do anything to ensure that is the case. To go from one relationship and into another days later, clearly shows she was never in love at all and was only saying what needed to be said to keep you around.

Be thankful in the knowledge that until she meets a complete mug of a bloke to take complete advantage of, she will likely remain "single" for a very long time I had an ex like that myself, didn't last very long though as I soon caught onto her ways.

Energize · 2 Nov 2017 at 12:31

Sounds like infatuation not love, she sounds immature.

Terminal_Boy · 2 Nov 2017 at 12:39

Dis86 said:
Sounds to me like you've avoided a severe case of crazy.

Dodged a bullet from the crazy gun there.

xraycat87 · 2 Nov 2017 at 13:08

Hades said:
Do you work in the film industry or are you a politician by any chance?

Not at all.

What I meant by that was, because I have wanted kids for a few years now, and that couldn't happen with my ex, being with someone who had a child (and again I never dated a mother before) brought out that side of me.

mmj_uk · 2 Nov 2017 at 13:10

I met a single mum a while back with a couple of kids, their dads were apparently chavs/stoners and their mum had no concept of being playful with children. One of them was just always glued to a tablet playing games and seemed really isolated and the other craved social interaction. I actually felt really sorry for them. I was watching Louis Theroux Dark States a while back and the concensus among black communities seemed to be that African American crime was largely a result of being brought up without father figures. I'm sure there are single parents who try really hard to give their children a good upbringing but I don't think it can ever fully compensate for stable two parent families.

TLDR: OP sounds like he'll make a good parent but there are just too many broken families/people beyond repair these days.

Hades · 2 Nov 2017 at 13:27

xraycat87 said:
Not at all.

What I meant by that was, because I have wanted kids for a few years now, and that couldn't happen with my ex, being with someone who had a child (and again I never dated a mother before) brought out that side of me.

I was just pulling your leg

xraycat87 · 2 Nov 2017 at 14:02

mmj_uk said:
I met a single mum a while back with a couple of kids, their dads were apparently chavs/stoners and their mum had no concept of being playful with children. One of them was just always glued to a tablet playing games and seemed really isolated and the other craved social interaction. I actually felt really sorry for them. I was watching Louis Theroux Dark States a while back and the concensus among black communities seemed to be that African American crime was largely a result of being brought up without father figures. I'm sure there are single parents who try really hard to give their children a good upbringing but I don't think it can ever fully compensate for stable two parent families.

TLDR: OP sounds like he'll make a good parent but there are just too many broken families/people beyond repair these days.

I know I'd make a good parent to be honest, my whole world changed when I met her and I was always being cautious on dangers around, getting her little treats but also making sure she stays in routine, the days out I planned were always based around her aswell.. but it wasn't to be. You guys are spot on, she's gone from bloke to bloke when I look back on the time line. I won't say she's a bad mother because when I was there, her daughter was always taken care of, home work, food etc. But the mum is a mental case

thread over I'd say, I'm glad its done.

xraycat87 · 2 Nov 2017 at 14:03

mmj_uk said:
I met a single mum a while back with a couple of kids, their dads were apparently chavs/stoners and their mum had no concept of being playful with children. One of them was just always glued to a tablet playing games and seemed really isolated and the other craved social interaction. I actually felt really sorry for them. I was watching Louis Theroux Dark States a while back and the concensus among black communities seemed to be that African American crime was largely a result of being brought up without father figures. I'm sure there are single parents who try really hard to give their children a good upbringing but I don't think it can ever fully compensate for stable two parent families.

TLDR: OP sounds like he'll make a good parent but there are just too many broken families/people beyond repair these days.

I know I'd make a good parent to be honest, my whole world changed when I met her and I was always being cautious on dangers around, getting her little treats but also making sure she stays in routine, the days out I planned were always based around her aswell.. but it wasn't to be. You guys are spot on, she's gone from bloke to bloke when I look back on the time line. I won't say she's a bad mother because when I was there, her daughter was always taken care of, home work, food etc. But the mum is a mental case

thread over I'd say, I'm glad its done.

robgmun · 2 Nov 2017 at 16:42

AHarvey said:
She was never in love, she wants someone to be a father figure to her kid, pay for things and provide stability. She's a user, nothing genuine there so you really shouldn't let it bother you in the slightest.

She'll bounce from bloke to bloke, saying whatever is needed and falling in love over and over again until she finds some idiot that won't notice her lies and BS.

This is how it reads to me too, not necessary crazy, just desperate to have a stable man in her life for her daughter. Lucky escape in my book