Lads, I could do with some advice. I've been with my lass for 6 months now. We met on PlentyofFish. She's a cracking girl, but lately she's gone a bit chicken oriental. Long story short, I went out on the lash last week and came home absolutely hammered. To say she was unhappy about it would be a huge understatment. She went crackers, shouting and throwing cushions at me and all that jazz. Not only was she upset that I'd got plastered and not invited her (she likes her drink, mind), but she was livid that I was wearing someone elses pants. I tried to explain why this was (won't go into this, but in short I flushed them down the lav), but she looked at me like I'd been smoking the Jamaican woodbines.
Anyway, since then she has really let herself go. For example. We went out for a Franky and Bennys last night and she insisted that I just get a salad. Which is fair enough because I could do with losing a bit of beef. She, on the other hand, had Frankys special lasagne with a side of garlic bread and chocolate ice cream for afters. Now, she's a big lass and loves her food, but this was like watching a hamster eat. She was just stuffing it all in her already engourged gum pockets. AND, she has started burping and farting in public, which is a major turn off. Worst still though, she has stopped shaving. Now, I love her to bits, but she's starting to get very hairy. I kissed her last night and I swear, if I didn't know better I'd say I was kissing Burt Reynolds.
We are supposed to be off to Chiquitos tonight, and I'm bricking it. She has already been dropping hints that she's going to order enchiladas because, in her words "they line me up for a good evening chuck-out." Dunno what to do here. I was even considering shaving her top lip while she's having her obligatory early afternoon nap, because at least that'd be one thing sorted, but I don't know if that'd even be legal.
Ok, so I'm rambling on here. Questions then - How do I get out of the meal, and is it legal to shave a sleeping woman?
dammit. can mods edit the title please? it was supposed to say "woman problems". sounds like I'm asking for advice on sanitary products.
Anyway, since then she has really let herself go. For example. We went out for a Franky and Bennys last night and she insisted that I just get a salad. Which is fair enough because I could do with losing a bit of beef. She, on the other hand, had Frankys special lasagne with a side of garlic bread and chocolate ice cream for afters. Now, she's a big lass and loves her food, but this was like watching a hamster eat. She was just stuffing it all in her already engourged gum pockets. AND, she has started burping and farting in public, which is a major turn off. Worst still though, she has stopped shaving. Now, I love her to bits, but she's starting to get very hairy. I kissed her last night and I swear, if I didn't know better I'd say I was kissing Burt Reynolds.
We are supposed to be off to Chiquitos tonight, and I'm bricking it. She has already been dropping hints that she's going to order enchiladas because, in her words "they line me up for a good evening chuck-out." Dunno what to do here. I was even considering shaving her top lip while she's having her obligatory early afternoon nap, because at least that'd be one thing sorted, but I don't know if that'd even be legal.
Ok, so I'm rambling on here. Questions then - How do I get out of the meal, and is it legal to shave a sleeping woman?
dammit. can mods edit the title please? it was supposed to say "woman problems". sounds like I'm asking for advice on sanitary products.
