I LIKE SCIENCE.

Not science related but I just remembered another oldy:

3 men line up to be executed by firing squad.

First man stands against the wall with his hands on his head and watches as the sergeant readies his men to aim. He looks to his side toward the smallish wall and thinks 'I'm not dieing without a fight.' Just before they shoot he points behind the men and shouts "TORNADO!!" the firing squad lower their rifles and turn around. The man legs it to the wall and dives over and gets away in the river.

The second man is lined up and watches as they take aim at him. Seeing what the first man did he decides to try it out. He looks upward and points shouting "UFO!!" again the firing squad lower their rifles and look up to the sky. The man runs to the wall, dives over and gets away into the river.

The third man is lined up by the now angry sergeant and then tells his men to take aim. Like the others he decides to try it out. Just before they're about to shoot he points forward and shouts "FIRE!!"

:o
 
A frontiersman went into an Indian village to purchase a wife.

The chief showed him three young women. The first was seated on a deer skin and could be purchased for the sum of five ponies. The second was seated on a buffalo skin and could also be purchased for five ponies. The third young woman was seated on a hippopotamus skin and could be purchased for ten ponies.

"Why does this one cost so much more?" asked the man.

"You know," replied chief Pythagoras, "the squaw on the hippopotamus is equal to the sum of the squaws on the other two hides."
 
e^X walks into a bar, looking a bit sad, notices sinX, cosX and all their mates in the corner having a laugh. Barman pours him a pint and says "you look a bit down mate, why dont you go integrate with that lot over there?". e^X replies, "naw, it'd make no difference".


LOL

edited... got it wrong first time!
 
Last edited:
simulatorman said:
A frontiersman went into an Indian village to purchase a wife.

The chief showed him three young women. The first was seated on a deer skin and could be purchased for the sum of five ponies. The second was seated on a buffalo skin and could also be purchased for five ponies. The third young woman was seated on a hippopotamus skin and could be purchased for ten ponies.

"Why does this one cost so much more?" asked the man.

"You know," replied chief Pythagoras, "the squaw on the hippopotamus is equal to the sum of the squaws on the other two hides."
Click to expand...

Get out.

That was terrible :p
 
The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
The graduate with an Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
 
2 bacteria walk into a bar. The barman says "We don't serve bacteria in here". They reply "But we work here! We're Staph!"
 
Kappa said:
lnX walks into a bar, looking a bit sad, notices sinX, cosX and all their mates in the corner having a laugh. Barman pours him a pint and says "you look a bit down mate, why dont you go integrate with that lot over there?". lnX replies, "naw, it'd make no difference".


LOL

edited... got it wrong first time!
Click to expand...

Erm, it's e^x, not ln(x).:o
 
MikeHunt79 said:
The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
The graduate with an Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
Click to expand...

Ah ha ha ha ha, +1 funny points :D
 
Integral of 1/x = ln x
In words, natural log x

Integral of 1/cabin= ln cabin
In words, natural log cabin

But wait, it should be a houseboat! Why.... Because you forgot to add the "c"

:D
 
There once was a girl named Irene
Who lived on distilled kerosene
But she started absorbing
A new hydrocarbon
And since then has never benzene.
 
B3N said:
Integral of 1/x = ln x
In words, natural log x

Integral of 1/cabin= ln cabin
In words, natural log cabin

But wait, it should be a houseboat! Why.... Because you forgot to add the "c"

:D
Click to expand...

Hooray, now that you've said that, I can now claim that all this time procrastinating on this forum was in fact invaluable revision for my Core 1 exam tomorrow! This is the best thread ever! :D
 
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